PAGE FOUR
My Ambition (and
various other
things)
Would you like to know what my
ambition is? You Would? Well, con
fidentially, its none of your busi
ness. I will tell ypu though, for lack
of anything better to write about.
If I can beat around the shrubbery
(bush gets old doesn’t it?) for about
yuj wortis, maybe I won’t have tc
tell you.
Lots of boys want to be president
when they grow up. I don’t think
they have much chance though. By
Che time they’re grown, we’ll prob
ably already have one. I don’t want
io be president. (I decided this be
fore I ever heard of Truman!) You
know, presidents are not what they
used to be. With the invention of
the yacht the oldtime president
went out of business. Don’t get me
wrong. I’m not against presidents.
There was one in particular that I
liked, name of Jeff Davis. (You his
tory sharks check me on this.) I
believe he lived between the years
1814 and 1886. After this time he
was as dead as a doorknob.
The next thing i don’t want to
be is a brick layer. Now bricklaying
is allright. (I could cite a couple of
cases in which a brick laid with a
certain amount of gusto and in the
right place would be a favor to so
ciety, but I won’t.) Bricklaying is
fine as long as you have plenty
of bricks, but there’s nothing more
pitiful than a bricklayer without
bricks, except, maybe, two brick-
Another thing I wouldn’t especial
ly care to be is a doctor. (I just
can’t stand the sight of humans!)
Of course, as in the case of brick
layers, doctors are in a very good
position to benefit humanity. (If
there’s one thing that needs bene
fiting it’s humanity.) Another thing
doctors benefit is doctors. They
make more money than a cat does
when Sunday comes. Which brings
us up to veterinarians. (Not a good
place to be brought up to. I’m sure.)
I don’t believe I’d like to be a veteri
narian; the hours are too long and
the pay is too short, and besides, I
just don’t like dogs.
Another ignoble profession is that
of a butcher. The essential differ
ence between a butcher and a doc
tor is that the patient of the former
is dead when he starts.
A very worthy profession is that
of a lawyer (at least, they claim it’s
worthy). If you’re not a natural
born liar, lawyering takes a lot of
schooling. I can’t afford the school
ing and all the lying I’ve ever done
was acquired. I would attempt this
profession only on one condition—
as a last resort to keep out of jail.
There are literally scads of pro
fessions that I would not like to go
into. In fact, I can’t find any that
I like. If I get the chance, I might
try the fine art of taxi-driving.
In my study of professions, I ran
across two immensely interesting
books. (Didn’t hurt them, though.)
You should read them before mak
ing up your mind about your life’s
Your Job and You, by Elsie Sing-
master, and Why Work? by J. D.
Rockerfeller.
Until then I remain
Your friend and mine
Ray Carnes
THE PILOT
The Boiling Springs
I A Letter Home
The Green Raider is on lea
absence for graduate research
at an institution of higher dis^
ing. Therefore, we chocse this
to publish the titles granted to
worthy sophomores. These title
awarded annually on the bas
prejudiced observation by a partial
board of sophists.
Our first awards go to our “Intelli-
gencia”. They are as follows: Mr.
•‘Mi’k in the cocount,” Eugene Big-
gerstaff. . . .Mr. Drudge-Dud, Ray
Carnes. . . .Miss Wise-Dome, Bar
bara Davenport Miss Cerebellum,
Nell Grantham. . . .Miss Grade
Grabber, Doris Grigg. . . .Mr. Knowl-
edgetis, Jim Mize. . . .Mr. Intelligen-
tleman, Milton Noblitt.. . .Miss Past-
thinker. Sue Seism. . . .Miss Cork
brained, Mickey Shull Mr. Scram-
blebrains, James Sullivan. . . .Miss
Brain-stuff, Alice Swann. . . .Mr.
Dizzy-Dust, Toni Izzi. , . .and Oh,
yeah (our editor) Mr. Comma-
hound, Marion Benfield, Jr.
Socialites who have made their
debut this season are as follows:
Miss Peach, Iris Atkinson. . .Mr.
Playster, Noble Ball. . . .Mr. ‘Chat
ty”, Eldred Billings. . . .Mr. Ice in
the Veins, Charles Burgin. . . .Miss
■‘Boyology”, Iris Champion. , , .Mr.
■‘Antifrat”, Bill Elliot. . . .Miss Eye-
Burner, Julia Hancock. . . .Miss
Wren, Mary Frances Howard. . . .
Miss “Georgia” (Summerville, that
Evelyn Leigh. . . .Miss Lolly-
gagger, Ramona McBrayer. . . .Mr.
Feminine Heart-Pumper, Jim Mc-
. .Mr, Gallavant, Fred
McFarland. . . . Mr. Peminology,
ulius Pinkston. . . .and you guessed
, Mr. Rookie, Bob Stegall.
No college class is complete with-
it their rugged individualists, for
example: Mr. Nitwitticism, Bryan
Gillispie, . . .Mr. Hoggy, Gene Corn
wall. . . .Miss Clod-Buster, Sara
Blanton. . . .Mr. Smartened-up,
Tommy Barrow. . . .Miss Vacant At
tic, Cora R. Beam Mr. Little-dog,
Ed Jones. . . .Mr. Whiskered one,
.Mr. Eagle-beak,
Eugene Lowery. . . .Mr. Scofflaw,
Otis Mitchell. . . .Sir Knave of
hearts, O. G. Morehead. . . .Miss
■‘Ugh”, Agnes Mull. . . .Sir Ace of
Hearts, Charles Shelton. . . .Mr.
Scrounge, Rudy Warden. . . .Sir
Saintworthy, Paul Whitley. . . .Mr.
Argufication, Bob Whitlock. . . .Mr.
Eagle-eye, “Scoop” Kiser. . . .and
speaking of individuals, our own Mr.
Ignorunty, “LonRoy” McPherson.
ihe following list we classify as
miscellaneous: Mr. Bridle-wise, Troy
Bridges. . . .‘‘The Boy ”, Jim Can
on. . .Miss Mortgaged Property, El-
;n Clary. . . .Miss “Shimmey-Mo-
del”, Jean Devlin. . . .Mr. Plate-shy,
‘Waco” Harrelson. . . .Mr. Hen-head-
3d, Max Harris. . . .Mr. Chuckle-get-
;er, Milton Higdon. . . .Mr. Dainty,
Bob Hoffman. . . .Mr. Lounge-beetle,
A1 Homesley. . . .Lady Ritzycrat”,
lara Reece. . . .Miss Can-opener,
Rachel :
1 Mr.
Picayunishness, Mari
other various and
sundry titles to the following promi
nent peons: Mr. Glue-foot, Herman
Motsinger. . . .Miss Fire-Extinguish-
er, Carolyn McSwain.. . .Miss Frank
ish, Lillian Maynard. . . .Mr. Wise
and other wise one. Bob Mullinax
■Miss Topnocher, Theresa Mc-
1. . . .Mr. Chained Lightening,
les Morton. . . .Miss Inquirios-
ity, Mary Nolan. . . .Mr. Quick on
the trigger, Grover Owens. . . .Mr.
Talkative, Curtis Sidden. . . .Miss
Given of the eye, Flossie Slater. . . .
Miss BOBbie-soxer, Rachel Smith
. . . .Mr. Pursonality papa, James
Stamey. . . .Mr. Monkeyfy, Thomas
Summers. . . .Mr. Big Towner, J. C.
Trammell. . . .Mr. Afternoon-Far-
mer, John Ware. . . .Mr. Loosefoot,
Frank Wilson. . . .Miss Grammanic,
Evelyn Young.. . .Miss Indigo-b:
ed, Shirley Allen. . . .Miss Rabonite,
Beth White. . . .and Mr. ‘‘He ought
to have one”. Bill Abernathy.
Oh, so we missed you. We a:
very sorry. Honest we will try to
ruin (oops) mention you next time.
If anyone is displeased because the
freshmen got off so easy he will have
to blame seniority. Now just a word
in closing. . . .your time will c
Over Thirty
Make Honor Roll
Over thirty students of Gardner-
Webb College have averaged Honor
Roll for the first six weeks in the
ipring semester, Mrs. Dorothy Wash-
3urn Hamrick, registrar, announced
The ‘
• roll :
average
composed of students carrying
load and making an
average of 95 or over. These stu
dents are: Nell Grantham, Maritta;
Max Linnens, Graham; Agnes Mull,
Lake Lure; and Mickey Shull, Shel
by.
The general honor roll is com
posed of students carrying at least
’ d and making an ave-
above for the grading
period. These students are: Nancy
Abernathy, Mt. Holly; Doris Adair,
Gastonia; Marion Benfield, Bell-
; Eugene Biggerstaff, Shelby;
Billy Bingham, Lawndale; Sara
Blanton, Shelby; Jo Lena Bridges,
Shelby; Barbara Davenport, Mt.
Holly; Billie Falls, Kings Moun-
i; Alberta Hamrick, Shelby; Jul-
Hancock, Pi-anklinville; Bobby
Howe, Shelby; Hoyt Howington,
Boiling Springs; Faith Johnson,
Magnolia; Gaylord Lehman, Inman,
McAlister, Lowell; Faye
Miller, West Jefferson; Peggy New-
Forest City; Milton Noblitt,
Shelby; Genieva Ostment, Gaffney,
Juinn, Gastoina;
alle; Dan Roberts,
Lowell; Marquean Ross, Morganton;
Andy Sealey, Shelby; Sue Seism,
Kings Mountain; Jackie Stone, Shel-
Thrift, Grover; Robert
Wright, Shelby.
BIG FIELD DAY
(Continued from Page 1)
their class president before April 10.
Each person who enters may
(Must) enter five contests; either
three athletic and two literary or
VO athletic and three literary.
The judges for the mens athletic
contests will be Mr. Richardson,
Coach Bradburn, Coach Harris and
J. O. Dunn. The judges for the wo-
s athletic contests will be Miss
Morgan and Mr. Vosecky.
The judges for the literary events
ill be: Speech, Mr. Lamm, Mr. El
liott, and Mr. Fisher; essay. Miss
Wray and Mr. Hendricks; Grammer,
Mrs. Fisher and Mr. Hamrick; Typ-
‘— Miss Watkins and Mr. Vosecky;
and home ec.. Miss Withrow,
Mrs. Huggins, Mrs. Shytles, and Miss
Starnes.
Boiling Springs
Drug Store
Get All Your
Drugs
See All Your
Friends
Have A Soda
HERE
Boiling Springs, N. C.
March 19, 1951
Howdy Maw (Well, I’ll be corn
swoggled),
This following apisle I dedicate to
those who plan to live till they die.
Maw, they wuz a bunch uve dad-
burn high school younguns down
here last week. I swear and declare
the way they acted you would think
they wuz already college younguns.
They wore their shoes all the time.
The way they walk youns wuold
think they had been taking courses
under Miss Miller or Miss Morgan.
I recon some uv them will be com
ing back next year (some uf the
fellers hope).
I had sumpin else to tell you but
s so unimportant I can’t even re
collect it in my head.
Maw, theys been a new course
wamped up. A passal (translated “a
(Continued on Page 6)
THE HILL BETWEEN ”
(Continued from Page 1)
daughter.
Upon coming back he found that
“what’s bred in a person’s marrow
doesn’t come out of his bones ’til
they rot.”
The cast, according to appearance,
! as follows: Anna Sanders, a
•k and colorful girl of twenty-
eight—Mary Dean Mingus; Brent
Sanders, a tall, well-built, handsome
gentleman of thirty—Glenn Petty
john; Larz Higgins, a tall, rawbone,
awkward boy o ftwenty-eight—
Hugh Miller; Ellen Sanders, a sweet
and lovely lass of sixteen—Frances
Rhyne; Paw Robbins, a stout, well-
built, middle-aged man—Bill Aber
nathy; Hank Allen, a thin, half-
starved man of forty—James Stam
ey; Julie Robbins, a tall, attrac
tive girl of thirty—Velma Stamey;
Tobe Carter, Richard Parham; Gil
Winters, Bob Blackburn; Cale
Stubbs, Gene Lowery; Katty Riddle,
Barbara Huggins; Queeney Peale,
Mary Frances Howard; Frona Chip-
ley, Frances (^uinn; Grandpap San
ders, Allyn Gibson; Martha Litt,
Mickey Moss; Nancy Wallis, Anna
Stevens; and Dolph Collins, Frank
Sherrill. The name of the person
who will play Wash Bitters was not
announced at press time.
The Kalmucks are the last
lOwn organized community among
descendants of Genghis Khan’s
Golden Horde, according to the
national Geographic Society.
The walrus i
tusks to
now down or tear aside fields of
e-weed among which he finds
is ihellfish prey.