PAGE FOUR
THE P I L 0T
NOVEMBER, 1952
Motive In The Winds
By Pete, the man at the Peep-Hole
In the last issue of “The Pilot” the staff offered a column
entitled “Motives in the Wind.” After receiving absolutely no
encouragement from the student body as to its continuance,
we have decided to change its name and writer (change: as
noticed at top of column.). This column will still handle the
answering of questions beneficial to raising of the student
body’s standing.
This week’s question is (The edi
tor suggests the reading of this
question be accompanied by: fog
horns, symbols, and stomping feet).
“PxOw may ’Dating’ be further
stimulated among the students of
Gardner-Webb?” (Any similarity
between names appearing below and
actual G.W. students is purely . . .
intended!)
Hoey Wheatgrinder: (Coach) I
think the administration should an
nounce a dance. When all the stu
dents get to the dance hall, the
ac ministration calls the whole thing
off. Then someone, in a fit of an-
gar, would suggest. “Let’s burn down
the school.” Everyone would think
this just “george” and say, “Capitol!
Capitol! What a keen idea!” Then
the school would be burned and
everyone would have to go home;
thus no need for stimulation. (Re
porter’s note: a violin major—he
just worships Nero.)
Glen Roosterson (His Lordship of
G. W. Campus ,the Duke of Decker
Manor, the Highness Higher than
High of the Church Steeple and
Captain of his Soul). Miss Starnes
should call off all dating. As soon
as this happens, everyone will want
to date. Then unexpected. Miss
Starnes will say, “Dating is permit
ted.” Joy sweeps the campus-every-
one dates everybody. One thousand
and one cheers, twenty and one-
half gun salutes, fifteen rahs and
three chorus’ of “For She’s a Jolly
Good Gum-Drop,” for Miss Starnes.
(Reporter’s note: Sounds exciting.)
Miss Floy Popgun (Rubenstein):
Well, this is the way I get my dates.
I ask the boy this riddle: “What is
the name of a dried prune which is
bigger than a raisin, smaller than a
watermelon and has a “D”, an
“A”, a “T”, and an “E” in it? Just
as soon as he says. . . '“Date,” I say
that I would be delighted. (Re
porter’s Note: Pleasant little bit of
treachery, isn’t it?)
Professor Littlebabysheep (Wins-
ton-Spencer) : I don’t know how to
answer your question, but I do have
one thing to say. A thousand onion-
stinks cursed onto the Rat who will
trample on an onion patch. (Re
porter’s note: AMEN.)
HOME ECONOMICS
(Continued from Page 3)
roast turkey, recipes for turkey
dressing, and cranberry punch.
The Home Economics Department
of Gardner-Webb will be host to
two hundred Home Demonstration
Club women of Cleveland County
on Thursday, November 6. Miss La-
Una Brashears is the Cleveland
County Home Demonstration Club
Agent. The ladies will meet in the
auditorium and eat lunch in the
cafeteria. Students in the Home Ec
Department will assist in putting
out the picnic lunch that the ladies
will bring and will be host to 'the
ladies. They will be invited to visit
our department.
How To Stay
In College
T. Bring the professor newspa
per clippings dealing with his sub
ject. Demonstrate fiery interest and
give him timely items to mention
to the class: If you can’t find clip
pings dealing with his subject, bring
in any clippings at random. He
thinks everything deals with his
subject.
II. Look alert. Take notes eagerly.
If you look at your watch don’t
stare at it unbelievingly and shake
III. Nod frequently and murmur,
‘How true I” To you this seems ex
aggerated. To him it is quite ob
jective!
IV. Sit in front, near him. (Ap
plies only if you intend to stay
awake). If you’re going to all the
trouble of making a good impres
sion, you might as well let him
know who you are, especially in a
V. Laugh at his jokes. You can tell.
If he looks up from his notes and
smiles expectantly, he has told a
joke.
VI. Ask for outstanding reading,
you don’t have to read it, just ask.
VII. If you must sleep, arrange to
be called at the end of the hour.
It creates an unfavorable impres
sion if the rest of the class has left
and you sit there alone, dozing,
VIII. Be sure the book you read
during the lecture looks like the
book from the course. If you do
math in psychology class and psy
chology in math class, match the
books in size and color.
IX. Ask any questions you think
he can answer. Conversely avoid
announcing that you have found the
answer to a question he couldn’t
answer and in your younger bro
ther’s second grade reader at that.
X. Call attention to his writing.
This produces an exquisitely pleas
ant experience connected with you.
If you know he’s written a book
or an article, ask in class if he wrote
As to whether or now you want
to do some work in addition to this,
well, it’s controversial and up to the
individual.
Taken from the NEA Journal
Cheering Section
RACHEL SCROGGS
Probably the most important ball
game of the year for us, took place
on November 15, at College Field
here on our own campus. This all-
important game with North Green
ville marked the Homecoming of the
mighty Bulldogs of Gardner-Webb.
A more perfect day for a game
has never been seen. The weather
wanted, (remember that icy day
last year for homecoming), and
made it special for us. One of the
things that contributed to the foot
ball spirit was all the chrysanthem
ums that the girls wore.
Our team did not wait long to
show their reasons for a “bowl bid.”
It was in the first quarter that
Garrison first plunged across that
all important stripe. With a 7-0
lead and the power our boys were
exhibiting, we in the stands knew
that we were not to be disappointed.
During the half time. Miss Billie
Walker was crowned football queen.
Her attendants were Betty Wise and
Paula Howard. In addition to these,
each club on the campus was rep
resented with a sponsor and her es
cort. Those boys who are sophomores
and who are finishing their foot
ball days at Gardner-Webb had a
special girl in the stands represent
ing him. Those boys sponsoring girls
on the campus were as follows: Er
nie Diaz, Jean McRae; Darrell Wil
son, Sue Vance; James Garrison,
Joyce Malone; Doug Fitz, Betty Jean
Emmett; Bill Bates, Mrs. Shytle;
Bill Wallace, Joby Rhinehardt;
Junie Tutterow, Joyce Hamrick;
Snake Nanney, Sally Thompson;
Don Moore, Billie Walker (Queen);
Tip Carpenter, Ann Laughter; Blair
Little, Susie Owens; and Bill Ca
they, Juanell Randolph. Henry
Smith and Bob Workman were spon
sored by girls from off-campus.
The final whistle discovered a
more than slightly one sided score—
32-6. The Bulldogs of Gardner-
Webb had come through once again.
Scoring three times for G. W. was
Captain James Garrison, and twice,
Henry Smith.
The national sales manager for
an inflatable bra—the latest thing
for the girls nature short-changed
— was flying from Los Angeles to
San Francisco with his No. 1 model.
She was, of course, loyally wearing
one of the boss’s products. It turn
ed out that the plane had a non
pressurized cabin, and the higher
they flew the more outstanding the
model became. It was so nerve-rack
ing for the other passengers that she
finally had to retreat to the pilot’s
compartment. She finished the flight
there, gradually deflating.
to hit one magnificent, long drive
during the 18 holes. When the round
was over, he couldn’t stop boasting
about that particular shot. “Wasn’t
that drive marvelous?” he asked a
friend for the tenth time.
“Yes,” was the bitter reply. “It’s
a shame you can’t have it stuffed!”
The day after McWardlaw’s wife
presented him with offspring, the
proud father was seen buying a baby
bottle.
“Hoot, mon, that’s scandalous ex
travagance,” said a friend.
“No,” sighed McWardlaw, “this
time ’tis not — the woman’s gone
and had triplets.”
When new port facilities were in
augurated at Aarhus, Denmark,
King Christian X honored the oc
casion with his presence. All along
the route of the royal car school
children waved banners and shout
ed. The sidewalks were swarming
with them.
“My goodness,” the King cried in
wonder, “where do all these children
come from?”
“Your Majesty,” said the mayor,
“we have been preparing for this
great day for years.”
A Chicago mother has raised her
six sons to be stanch “straight tick
et” Democrats. So when one lad,
back home from Army duty over
seas, announced that he might vote
for Eisenhower if the General won
the GOP nomination, his mother
was most upset. “Mom,” the soldier
counterattacked, “if the Good Lord
Himself were running on the Re
publican ticket I don’t think you’d
vote for Him!”
“Of course I wouldn’t,” she re
plied quickly. “He’d have no busi
ness to change now.”
At a dinner party, a shy young
man had been trying to think of
something nice to say to his hos
tess. At last he saw his chance when
she turned to him and remarked,
“What a small appetite you have,
Mr. Jones.”
“To sit next to you,” he replied
gallantly, “would cause any man to
lose his appetite,”
“What a beautiful suit you’re
wearing,” cooed one woman at a
cocktail party, “I like it better every
time I see it,”
The other woman thanked her
sweetly. Then, fingering the ma
terial of her friend’s dress, she re
taliated: “That’s such lovely cloth,
my dear. You really should have it
made into a dress!”
Attending a ball in London, a Chi
cagoan had a dance with his hostess.
When they finished, the somewhat
rotund lady was panting, “Shall we
try another whirl?” asked the visi-
“Not now,” she said in her pro
nounced English accent, “I’m dahnc-
ed out,”
“Oh, no,” he countered reassur
ingly, “not darn stout—plump,”
In Brighton, Colo,, a drunk, obvi
ously in no condition to take the
wheel, was getting into his auto
mobile when a sheriff’s deputy
halted him and asked; “You’re not
going to di-ive that car, are you?”
“Certainly I’m going to drive,”
the man replied, “I’m in no con
dition to walk,”