UPCOMING
Spring Daze ’90!
Lighter
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Tidal Waves
- like the black ball - was all that the serious
bowler would be found wearing." So, why
must we now rent those tri-colored
monsters that are rejects from the closet of
Cyndi Lauper?
The answer: After investigating fur
ther and speaking to a few shoe store
managers, I discovered that these 3-tone
shoes were not meant to be an aesthetic
experience - those grossly strange color
combinations are designed to discourage
theft. For one thing, those colors are so
disgustingly ugly, that no one would want to
steal them. And, second, if by some odd
chance that weird individual did try to
snatch these shoes, their crime would most
likely be foiled...due to the blazing shoe
colors.
We know that bowling shoes are used
and abused daily. Hartman stated that, "The
lanes were lucl^ if a pair of shoes lasted a
year. But, considering we only pay about 10
to 25 dollars a pair - and rent them about
500 times before they fall apart at the one-
dollar-per-rental rate - I’m not going to
complain too much."
Now, look, I know that if the rentals
were a "hush puppy" shade of brown (which
I’m asking for) instead of the technicolor
death they are now - they would still get
scuffed and marked up! And, no. I’m not
asking for "Ricardo Monteban’s Corinthian
Leather" either! I’m just asking for a bowl
ing shoe with a little bit of class -1 mean,
listen guys, isn’t the huge number 12 on the
back of the heels enough to discourage
most would-be thiefs? Think about it!
Until the schooner cruises again. I’m
Noel T. Maiming, II, asking this: "Have you
ever noticed that your garbage weighs more
than your groceries?"
By Noel T. Manning, II
Entertainment Editor
Spring Break! Ah, what a most fas
cinating time! ...Why??? Well...A weekend
escape to the beach! A Nintendo game sys
tem! Sterling silver toenail clippers! A
nouvo car, of the red persuasion! A celebra
tion of the day of my birth! A lot of green
backs! A French toast breakfast in France!
Several visits to some of the newest movies!
And, of course...i;hose unforgettable daily
visits to the local bowling lanes! Bowling,
now that’s something to investigate. Well,
not bowling exactly, but, those bowling
shoes and their nauseating appearance!
We all live in a basically civilized cul
ture, yet, we become uncivilized when it
comes to agreeing on politics, music, and
our favorite flavor of ice cream...ah, but
there is one thing we all agree with - bowl
ing shoes are most definitely ugly!
But...why? Does anyone really know?
Well, read on my friends...read on...
Who can actually believe that tan-
blue-and-maroon shoes were chosen as a
fashion statement to accent the black rub
ber balls and light wood grain of the bowl
ing lanes?
I spoke to William Hartman, manager
of the Major League Lanes in Goldsboro,
N.C. about this dilemma and he told me, "In
the early history of bowling, the black shoe
MATTHEW BRODERICK
PROJECT X
Following enters Isn’t the only way to become a hem.
Saturday, March 31st
THE CONCERT EVENT OP YOUR UEEl
Friday, April 20tb
.Satterfields^'
wr
Area’s Most Unique Restaurant
Casual Atmosphere- Come As You Are
*Pianist Nightly
*Steak and Seafood including Catch of the Day
*^/lan'nated Chicken
*Onginal Buffalo Creek Spare Ribs
*Prime Rib (Fri. & Sat. Only)
*Brown Bagging Permitted
Hwy.-74 East-Bctween Shelby & Kings Mtn.
at Buffalo Creek (1 Mile from Cleveland M^l)
704-734-0400
OPEN: MON.-SAT. 5-10 P.M.
Just a reminder to the readers of The
Pilot: "The Lighter Side" is a satirical
column... the stories you are about to
read are NOT true!
Grammy Award winner Michael W.
Smith recently asked Noel T. Manning, II
to perform on and co-produce his upcom
ing release entitled "Guys with Beards Are
Cool."
Dean Franklin will be starring as him
self in an upcoming film based on his life—
"When Harry Met Porshia"- to be released
in the winter of 1991. The film will be
screened first at Gardner-Webb College.
Network executives at N.B.C. have
recently cast Pat G. Davis as the female lead
in the television series based on the theatri
cal film, "My Stepmother is an Alien."
Phil Collins will star as Peanuts char
acter Charlie Brown in the TV movie "I’m
not as Dumb as I Look."
The fast food chain McDonalds
recently signed GWC student Charles Neil
to a 5-year deal. Neil will be the new Ronald
McDonald in TV commercials.
Richard Drye and Randy Travis have
recorded a single for Randy’s new album.
The song, "I’ve Done Everything There is to
do and More," vnll be released next month.
THANKS!!
The S.E.A. would like to thank all the
participants in the concert committee’s sur
vey for "Webb Jam" bands. Upon further
contact with the agents of these bands, we
found that they were unable to work with
the April 20th date. At the time of the sur
vey, we were informed that each of the
bands listed had possible openings. Thanks
a'gain for your help! We think that our
chosen band, "The Cast of Beatlemania,"
will leave a certifiable mark on this cam-
ATTENTION:
PRE-REGISTRATION IS ON
GOING RIGHT NOW! FOR
YOUR PRE-REGISTRATION
TIME, SEE BELOW:
• MARCH 19-23 SENIORS (90+ hrs.)
• MARCH 26-30 JUNIORS (60+ hrs.)
• APRIL 2-6 SOPHOMORES (30+ hrs.)
• APRIL 9-13 FRESHMAN (less than 30)
FRESHMEN: NOW IS THE TIME TO
DECLARE YOUR MAJOR. DO SO BY
OBTAINING YOUR FOLDER FROM
YOUR FACULTY MENTOR AND TAKING
IT TO THE DEPARTMENT HEAD OF
YOUR ANTICIPATED MAJOR!