The Pilot /November 4 , 1993 3
Second Front
GWU graduate counseling program
by Nicole Utera
staff writer
For six years now, Gardner-Webb has
offered its students work in a graduate coun
seling program. It is a program set up to enable
students to receive their masters degree in
school or agency counseling.
The program is designed for people work
ing during the day. It consists of 48 semester
hours of afternoon and evening classes.
"It's a real service to the area to have this
program because, without it, students would
have to travel to either Charlotte, Hickory, or
East Carolina to obtain their masters," said Dr.
Pat Partin, a professor in the graduate counsel
ing program and its director.
Presently, there are 58 students enrolled
and the majority of those are female. The
students in the program are from many differ
ent areas in the Carolinas.
continues growth
To take part in this program, one must
contact the graduate office at Gardner-Webb
and apply for admission. The number of
applicants accepted depends on the number of
applicants and the qualifications of each appli
cant.
The requirements for admission are a
suitable grade point average, satisfactory test
scores, letters of recommendation, and an in
terview with faculty.
Nutty Stuff
by Kevin Walter
staff writer
Excuses for skipping a class
1) “I got pennied into my room and I live on the
third floor. I tried to yell for help, but everyone
just laughed at me. I feel like a total fool.”
2) “It’s a personal reason. If you don’t mind.
I’d rather not talk about it.” Try to develop
some tears in your eyes at this point and walk
quickly out of the room.
3) Just start apologizing profligately (that word
was dedicated to Gus King) for missing class.
Start telling the teacher you’ 11 never miss class
again. Then, get down on your knees and beg
forgiveness. About that time, they should tell
you everything is all right, so you can just get
up and walk out the door knowing you got
away with it.
4) “I went home for the weekend and my
brother got sick with the flu. The only thing is,
the doctor got his test mixed up with someone
suffering a highly contagious disease and put
a quarantine on our home. He didn’t discover
the accident in time for me to make it to your
class."
5) “You mean you didn’t call off the class; that
was what the message on my machine said.
Oh, I bet my next door neighbors did that; they
are so immature. They are always playing
practical jokes.”
Jump from page 1
that. He waited about four and a half seconds
before he finally threw out his pre-chute, re
leasing his main chute.
You are probably thinking that four and a
half seconds is no big deal. The thing is, it is
only an eight second straight drop to the bot
tom. He could have been this year's fatality.
Fun Flicks
Live.Professional.Mobi]e Video Recotding Studio
Wednesday, Nov. 10 in the DOC Banquet Hall
-AnddontfOTgettheVideoAwardShowwhaeyou
mi^twintheawardfOTbestvideo. Faculty and staff
are also oxxxiraged to make a video.
Your teacher’s response to your ex
cuses
1) r m sure you did, but I don’t understand why
you didn’t call me and tell me what was going
on. Well, if you get a note from your AD
stating what happened, I can excuse your cut.”
Boom, you’ve been shot down.
2) “Oh, by the way, before you leave, I just
thought you would like to know that your
roommate came by and told me you stayed out
till 5 a.m. and that you probably would miss
class today.” Uh, Bye Bye.
3) “Your name here, you forgot to tell me your
reason for missing class.” You better think
fast
4) “If you had listened to my biology lectures
you would have known the symptoms to both
illnesses and could’ve corrected the mistake.
Who is this doctor anyway? He should not
have made such a deadly mistake. I plan on
reporting him to the medical board.” The
party’s over.
5) “Do you really expect me to believe that pile
of lies? I wasn’t bom yesterday. Do I have
sucker written on my forehead? I don’t believe
you brought me such a sorry excuse for a lie.
You could’ve at least said that your father’s
second cousin’s grandmother’s fourth hus
band fell down some stairs and broke his neck
and died or something. It would’ve been more
realistic than that stupid story, and your acting
is a joke. You probably couldn’t even play
dead. Get out of my sight, you scrub.”
Whoomp, there went your grade.
Wade’s reply to why he did it was, “Who says
Christians are wimps.“
Oh, by the way, if you heard that a world
record seven man bungee jump tuck place, it is
true. In the eyes of the BASE jumpers though,
bungee is no longer cool since they wasted
two and a half hours of the BASE jumpers
time. Which meant the BASE jumpers re
ceived only one chance to jump off the bridge.
To all those adrenaline junkies out there,
you should have been there.
Editorial Letters Welcome
The deadline for editorial letters is three
days after each issue. Address
editorial letters to The Pilot,
c/o Greg Carpenter, Campus Box 5103.
Opera highlighted G-W
newcomers and staff
by Andrew White
staff writer
The GWU Opera Theater started this
year’s production with a scene from perhaps
the world’s most popular opera “The Magic
Flute” by Mozart
Jason Dula sang the role of Papageno (the
Bird Catcher) and wasjoined by Amalie Hinson
(Papagena) in one of the famous duets in all of
music.
Jason and Amalie join the music program
at Gardner-Webb as transfers from the fine
music program at Catawba Valley Commu
nity College.
The second part of the program presented
“Goldilocks and the Three Bears,” an operatic
informance by Mark Schweizer.
Dr Fern, professor of music and director
says, “This is an adapted version of the famil
iar children’s story that brings the audience all
kinds of fun and information.” The audience
heard famous opera tunes adapted with a text
that basically followed the traditional fairy
tale.
Arias such as “La donn e mobile” and
“Caro nome” were utilized in a hilarious fash
ion.
One of this year’s highlights was the
incorporation of a guest Baby Bear in each of
the performances. Gardner-Webb personali
ties, Audrey Sloan, Woody Fish, and Tony
Eastman all took part. Other student perform
ers included Joe Ervin as Papa Bear, Dee
Yoder as Mama Bear, and Scott Elliott as the
Sheriff.
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