Newspapers / Gardner-Webb University Student Newspaper / Feb. 27, 2003, edition 1 / Page 6
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Page 6 Thursday, February 27,2003 Op/Ed JTiePlfer Gardner-Webb University www.gwupllot.com Box: 6165 Phone: 3533 E-mail: gwupilot@yahoo.com editor-in-chief Erin Boyd &: assistant editors Margaret O’Driscoll Mike Shade sports editor Mile Shade copy editors Emily Killian Sarah Olimb design editor Jennifer Menster web editor Leigh Harris photo editors Angela Murtiff Margaret O’Driscoll \ staff Erin Aldridge Stephanie Alexander Robert Brunson Meg Elliot Brenda Goodbrad Scott Holstein Angela Lachney Christina O’Grady John Olson Laurie Pinkert Emily Slaughter cartoonist Charlie Baber advisor Bob Carey The Pilot is the official Gardner- Webb University student newspaper. It is produced by students under the supervision of the Department of Communication Studies. Gardner-Webb fosters an atmosphere in which student journalists may report on matters of common interest and write critically about University issues, policies and programs without fear of reprisal. At the same time The Pilot adheres to high standards of integrity and journalistic responsibility. The Pilot is produced using the Quark Publishing System provided through a generous grant from Quark, Inc. Letters to the editor must be signed, but names can be withheld if request ed by the author Mike’s Mic Guys strike out with pick-up lines Mike Shade Pilot sports editor Okay, now where did we leave off last time? Ah yes, negative smoothness. Last column we explored the idea that most men have been born with this dreadful, women-disabling disease called NSD. We men can’t argue with it. We don’t know how to read women. Come to think of it, we only know a couple things. For instance, the only things that usually cross my mind are: a) I’m hungry , b) why does n’t Carolina go to McCants more in the post, and c) SportsCenter comes on at 11. Don’t get me wrong, we aren’t Neanderthals. We just aren’t detail people. We are general. We ask questions like: “What’s up?” Or “What’s the score?” Or “Who ate all the bread?” These questions are answered in quick, simple fashion: “Nothing.” Or “Carolina’s down 40.” Or “I ate all the bread. Sorry.” So, how do we overcome our un detailed way of life and talk to girls, possi bly the most detailed beings in existence? Using all of my male powers, I came up with an overly simple and naturally despi cable method of research. The plan: take a few random guys to a neutral location, give them some pick-up lines to use, and let the macking begin. They would try and get a girl’s phone num ber using varied pick-up techniques, and I would watch and fall over jaughing at thoir misfortune record the results. I somehow convinced two guys (names have been withheld to protect the innocent) to assist me in my venture. Now we had to figure out where to find girls. Logically, we chose the ultimate haven for girls of inner and outer beauty, the Cleveland County Mall. As we strolled through the mall, my two subjects (we’ll call them Stud Muffin #1 and Stud Muffin #2) looked for possible prospects while I had a pen and pad ready to write down thoir incredible failures the girls’ phone numbers. We first tried the cheesy approach. Using the most pathetic pick-up lines imaginable, my two cohorts attempted to win girls’ hearts. The results weren’t pret ty. Stud Muffin #1 entered a store and start ed talking to one of the workers. “Are your legs tired?” he asked. “No, not really,” she replied. “Oh, because they’ve been running through my mind the whole time I’ve been in here,” he said. '“6fi, you think so?” she said sarcasti cally. Stud Muffin #I didn’t quite know how to respond to that one. She then turned and vvalked away quickly. With the cheesy pick-up line approach failing miserably, we decided to tone it down a bit. Stud Muffin #2 approached a sales clerk in another store. “Can I help you?” the girl asked. “Well, actually you can,” said Stud Muffin #2. “I spotted you from the other side of the mall and was wondering if your boyfriend would mind if I took you out some time.” The reply was better, but still a nega tive. “Well, he probably would mind,” she smiled. “Sorry.” With nothing working, we decided to throw, out all efforts at thinking up some thing clever and go with the direct approach. Stud Muffin #1 was the only one with the guts to do it. “Hi, listen. I’d love to call you some time if you wouldn’t mind,” he said. “Can I have your number?” “Well, I’m engaged,” she said, holding up a left hand full of bling-bling. “Oh okay,” said Stud Muffin #1, almost in a full sprint. We gave up after that. The two Stud Muffins combined to go O-for-9 in girls attempted, with no telephone numbers and only one smile. So, what do we guys know now because of this research? I’m afraid we are only left with one universal truth. SportsCenter is on at 11. Student pol'l — If the U.S. Government ASKED YOU TO GO TO WAR, WOULD YOU FIGHT? Yes: 10 (40%) No: 10 (40%) Maybe: 2 (8%) Willing but can’t: 3 (12%) “Yes. I don’t like the idea of war, but I would have to stand up for my country.” - Heather Triplett, senior “Yes. Being a nursing major, the possibility is always there of being asked to go to war or a disaster site. If asked to go, I would probably do it even if I didn’t want to. I would have to trust that it is God’s will and that He would take care of me.” - Jessica Philbeck, senior ‘I can’t. I’m not an American citizen.” - Elaine Bell, junior “No, because I don’t believe this [possibly upcoming] war is justified at this time.” - Nicholette Schnell, freshman “Yes, because my country has done so much for me and I know it’s for the greater good in the end. I don’t agree with it completely, but I would go.” - Patrick Woody, senior Dangerous Minds - Staff editorial Don’t stress Midterms. Papers. Projects. Meetings. Deadlines. STRESS. Mid-semester pressure is upon all of us, as we struggle to meet the everyday demands of college life. Calm down. Relax. Take a breath of fresh air. Spring is on its way. And it’s time for a break. But as you take next week to rest your brain from school and life at GWU, make sure you keep it tuned in to what’s going on with the rest of the world. Guns. Target practice. Boot camp. Deployment to the Middle East. As you take a step out of the GWU bub ble, look around you. Read more than just the Pilot and watch a little of CNN along with MTV. Think about the thousands of young men and women serving our country right now, many of them around your age, who don’t get a break to go to the beach or hang out with friends. Pray for them, and pray for our nation, as you take this break to bask in the freedom they are fighting for.
Gardner-Webb University Student Newspaper
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