Havoc Produced
pii Inquisition
%
THE
unfortunate firing
squad incident
nne year ago, almost to the
an incident occurred which
id a chain of reaction of
!ked eye brows aU through the
. Andrews student hierarchy,
tone’s negligence along the
1 had created a rather tense
situation for the Orientation
Committee.
shot
in the mock firing
Hlg for making sure the
at the serf inquisition had
Ijver looked about four of the
hirty.odd weapons to be used.
Some serf, whose name escapes
Freshman* b.e e o m e s disen
chanted with fun and games
day.
Comments
On Serf Week
We at THE LANCE beUeve that
Serf Week can serve a useful
function if it’s precepts are
carried out in good humor. A
good healthy, competitive friction
between the freshmen and the
upperclassmen can serve to
create a class solidarity and a
good time for all involved.
A minority of freshmen believe
that Serf Week is "Mickey
Mouse” and quite below their dig
nity. To these we express our
regret that they lack the ami
ability to join in the fun.
I, personally, am very much im
pressed by the spunk and origi
nality exhibited by the fresh
man class in many of the clever
tasteful pranks perpetrated
(luring Serf Week. For these
things I would like to congrat-
ulate them.
Loimie Maim
Editor
me at the moment, was riddled
during what was scheduled to
be the highlight of the afternoons
entertainment. Manyupperclass.
men expressed their sincere
regret because the window in
front of which what>s.hls.name
was standing has just been
replaced after the brick.bat riot
the week before.
The cafeteria people, at that
time the Prophet Food Company,
who, incidentally, were terribly
understanding people, expressed
similar sentiments. The reason
for their concern was that the
window was one of those forming
the south wall of their place of
business. The manager is reputed
to have said, “it wouldn’t be
so bad if it wont fer th’ flies
and the fact that we’ve arredy
mopped the floor for this month. ”
The whole affair was quite messy
and otherwise somewhat dls-
tasteful It was later learned from
the Maintenance Departnient that
the replacement of the window
had run into a considerable sum
of money. The body plus about
half a bucket of whatever could
be determined to have belonged
to it and a bill for the window
were shipped (C.O.D.) to the
parents after a week’s investi.
gatlon to determine its Iden
tity. All this could have been
avoided if it hadn’t occurred
during the secretaries’ coffee
break. Because of this the
incident wasn’t reported to the
appropriate office until three
days later. By that time, what
with the rain and all, the name
tag was so discolored and dog
eared that it was unreadable.
A highly interesting and practi
cal outgrowth of the otherwise
rather prosaic situation has been
the suggestion that hereafter
serfs be required to carry two
name tags—one to be worn as
usual, the other to be plastic
covered and carried in the back
pocket or purse. Incidentally, It
has been suggested that whoever
is in charge of the firing squad
this year be a little more
careful in his selection of people
to handle the gun check as a
repeat of last year’s shoddy per
formance may mean that that
portion of the Inquisition festi
vities be suspended indefinitely.
Sometimes all must suffer for
the misconduct of a few. Tsk,
tsk, tsk.
TEENS ADOPT OLDSTERS
PARMA, Ohio — The
72 teen-agers who are members
of Senior Y-Teens from Parma
High School have adc^)ted 53
older persons in a local nursing
home. In addition to group pro
grams, they seek to provide re
creation and meet other needs.
Serf Week mock firing squad means fun upperclassmen seem to enjoy the festivi-
for young and old alike. (Note that the ties more than the freshmen.)
OCT. 2, 1964
VOL. 4
NO. 1 ST. ANDREWS PRESBYTERIAN COLLEGE, LAURINBURG, N- C.
Horrors Of Torture Chamber
Hopefully Not To Be Repeated
Newly installed swing gives mucli pleasure to fresh
•*>an as well as onlooking upperclassman.
The LANCE feels it is it's
duty to review the horrors of
last year’s Serf Week riots in
hopes that some of the need,
less bloodshed which occurred
might be avoided and that a
larger number of our bright but
unorganized freshman class
might survive to 'enjoy a fuller
educational experience.
A few days before the Inqulsl.
tion last year a strange quiet
foreshadowed one of the most
chaotic and strlfe-torn periods
in the history of our campus.
The sun slowly sank In the west
radiating an eerie and red light.
It seemed as though the plains
of the athletic field were a solid
sheet of flame and the lake a
pool of rasberry Kool-ald. The
gentle, warm winds of Scotland
County produced an almost in
escapable soporific effect. Sud.
denly from the east a cluster
of bobbing blue beanies appear,
ed from nowhere. An Army of
screaming adolescents dressed
in “super.colleglate” uniforms
were stamping across St. An
drews placid campus.
At this point several of the
herd were severely injured even
before the confused mob was
able to affect any semblance of
organization. One male frosh bit
the stem off his new Dr. Gray-
bow pipe and swallowed it In
the excitement. Several fresh
man coeds in the meantime be
came asphyxiated on Kent cig-
arettes in the confusion and were
saved only through the fast think
ing of several first-aid experts
from the physical education de
partment, Gant shirts proved to
be a Nemesis to several whose
loops hung on low-hanging tree
branches.
Finally the mob Intelligence
quotient reached a peak of fifty
and with this new confidence
the group began singing some
sort of ridiculous protest song
about being overbearing or some
thing like that.
The serious upperclassmen in
their unending quest for know
ledge were exceedingly perturbed
when the monotonous roar of
the rabble upset their card
Freshman seems to enjoy new slenderizing machine
developed by upperclassmen.
games, making it Impossible to
make a legitimate bid.
Several bidding errors gen.
erated a mob of red.eyed upper-
classmen to rival the barbaric
hords of Attila. The outraged
card players were vertiable
tigers unchained as they evacu
ated the student center to quiet
the noise.
Five upperclassmen counter-
spies organized the freshmen
by telling them that a party
was to be held at McColl and
that it was very much "in” to
be there. Upperclassmen dis.
guised as “freshles” appeared
driving old blue busses which
were purportedlv destined for
Rogers. Naively the docile mob
boarded them. Upperclass cal
culation triumphed over the gul
lible frosh as they were con-
vlnced that the old X-Way tor.
ture rack was in reality a beer
hall Under this erronious con
ception the mob pushed Into the
creaky old building. The rusty
hinges of the thick oak door
squeaked as it swung shut and
was bolted. The rest is too
horrible to tell. The photographs
here were taken by a secret
lamera as LANCE staff mem.
Ders are never involved In such
shady Incidents.
As nearly as we can make
out, the above picture Is of some
sort of slimming device de
signed to put paunchy freshmen
in good physical shape, the one
below seems to be some sort
of swinging device on which the
freshman Is making like Tarzan.
It Is our hope here at the LANCE
that the unfortunate X.Way Inci
dent will not be repeated this
year.
NEEDS OPEN SPACE
HALIFAX, N.S. —David
Murphy, 11, has a problem find
ing a field big enough to test his
authentic Australian boomerang
in. Instructions with the mail
order boomerang suggest an open
area 50 by 50 yards free of peo
ple and pets.
•mmF.