fjovember 2,1989
The Lance
Pages
Hosstyle
Pat Hoss
I sauntered into the St.
Andrews cafeteria at about
5:15, according to my watch.
It was, to say the least, a line.
At the time, it stretched from
the glass doors to the mail
boxes. I considered my
choices: go out for a nice,
hot, good meal at a local
restaurant, or ...SAGA.
Then the deciding factor hit
me-no money. Thus, the
line was joined by another
student, having hopes that
what I smelled was not
SAGA, but the sewage plant
backed up.
Suddenly, the line jerked
to a start and a wave started
up from the bottom of the
stairs and continued on to
me and beyond. After about
a quick hour, I was at the
door, and with a point and a
mumble 1 was at my first
curcial decision-which line
to take. Which line would
move me to the luscious
food my mouth was salivat
ing for? Wait a
minute...that’s a leak in the
ceiling...sorry. Anyway, I
chose the right side, which
took me past the stale cere-
j 3ls in nice new stay-fresh
dispensers. It also took me
past the now closed "only
open at lunch" sandwich
area-the place with the fa
mous heavily sought after
taste that sticks to the roof of
your mouth. I then gath-
eredmy twisty silverware
and my tray, and looked
over the yum-yummy des
serts on display. "Which
™ll it be?" I thought. 'The
"'onderful cheesecake, the
twenty-year old cherry pie
»the one-bite serving dish,
should] go for the "hey
squeeze it to see if it's fresh"
e-.The possibilities
"«med endless, but I made
my decision and went with
the cake (hard as a rock, of
course). I moved to the real
stuff.
The aroma from the main
course was, shall I say,
something to make a grown
man cry: and I was bawling
by this time. There were
three choices: the veal with
cheese and tomato topping
(for those with guts); fried
mystery meat (for the less
gutsy); the vegetarian stuff,
which I refuse to eat because
of the brownish coloring. I
have tried to convince my
self that it is just dirty lenses
but I really don't think so.
Anyway, I went for the veal,
with not so much soybean,
as opposed to the mystery
meat with a lot of soybean.
In fact, the reason it is mys
tery meat is because it is
made of soybeans and not
meat at all. Once out of that
area, you immediately enter
into the spacious and beau
tifully decorated cafeteria
dining room, with the beau
tiful view of the lake. I go
directly to the salad bar,
where I get some slightly
dead (for a number of days)
lettuce, and top it off with
rotten eggs, spoiled toma
toes, and other various and
asundry vegetables gone
awry. Thus, with my plate
full of things a dog might
eat, I set out for my table.
After I downed my food,
in the pickiest manner my
stomach would accept, I
started gazing out at the
lake, watching fishermen
unlawfullly fish , when I
noticed something tugging
on my shirt. As I looked
down, the cheese-covered
veal seemed to be chewing
on my Italian jacket. Of
course this illusion did not
Update
Susie Bennett
frighten me at all, for I am
used to it. Being a junior, I
know all that fumes from
SAGA cause these illusions,
but to the novice, it can be
unnerving. I merely
brushed it aside and took
another sip from my flat
Diet Coke. I poked at my
rock-hard Angelfood cake
dessert. As I felt the cold
corn settle on the mashed
potatoes I had just eaten, I
noticed a slight glow emit
ting from my fingers. "Must
be the gravy," I thought to
myself. Then the fresh rolls
appeared and all other
thoughts were dashed. I
jumped up and leapt across
the table, heading for the
salad bar. I saw the
competition cutting around
by the drink dispensers and
thought "Damn!" A quick
calculation in my mind pro
duced the total of twenty
rolls in the basket; the last
lukewarm ones in the bas
ket, too. I slipped between
two wheelies and lunged at
the basket. "Ha! Got one!"
As I slipped back into my
seat amid applause, and
suddenly remembered-the
butter.
Thus ends a meal at St.
Andrews, at which time
your tray, minus the paper
products, is put on a con
veyor belt, turns a corner,
and disappears to a place
where we suppose the
dishes are either dropped or
cleaned. It all depends on
which mood people work
ing there are in: "a high
school diploma" mood or an
"I spent my time in school
suspension" mood. So, with
a quick fling of paper into
the trash, you are out the
door and up the steps and
into the air of the morning
after you and I ate at SAGA.
After talking to some of my suitlemates, I decided
that a column in the newspaper would be a gocxi way
to pass on information. What goes on in the SGA
should be easily available to all of you.
The past two months have been very busy fortwth
the Cabinet and the Senators. Ail of us returned to
school four days early in order to get ready for the
1989-90 school year. Over the summer, Wendy, Char
lie, Sharon, and I attended a NAC A (National Associa
tion of Campus Activities) Student Govenunent
Workshop in Kchmond. We were really excited about
getting back to campus a ad utilizing all of the things
we learned.
Quite a few things have happened since then. Dur
ing Hurricane Hugo, we had a consultant here to help
us with the operation of our student government
system. She gave several talks on different aspects of
student government, from time management to deal
ing with administration. I would like to extend a
"thank-you" to all who attended.
One of the big things that I am trying to get started is
an aluminum recycling program. So far. I've been
pretty successful. This week you will notice big blue
garbage cans in your dorms. The side of each reads:
"Put cans here for the Humane Society." Please help
out by depositing any cans you have-all of them go to
the Humane Society, and they use the money to help
the animal shelter. Anyone who would like to help out
at the animal shelter should get in touch with me.
I heard the party at Farrago went really well. A lot of
stiidents helped out getting everything ready. The
place used to be a mess, but now looks great. SGA do
nated money to get the booths recovered, and they
really look good.
In about a week, there will be a bulletin board
outside the SGA office. Our office hours will be
posted. Feel free to ask me anything
Boltw Sfuare Shopping Center
276-2600