Newspapers / St. Andrews University Student … / April 1, 1991, edition 1 / Page 4
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Page 4 April 1,1991 Society Column By Tina Carter Sarah Cooper Jane Karpenske Featured Columnists While the rest of you have been indulging yourselves the writers of this colunui have been keeping their ears open and their eyes closed. Here are a few of the things we have heard from very reliable sources while combing the campus for gossip. -Binger has bought a spandex mini for Launching. -Last Saturday night the Rugby players challenged the Chess club to a game of chess and won. -Nuke Lees has gained 3001bs. on a "wonder drug" developed by Ors. Applegate and Blackburn. -Last week Rob Collins sent out invitations for a house warming at his West Laurinburg estate. The combination Bible reading and Helm's fund raiser is not expected to draw a big crowd. -Lane Moore has announced his engagement to a mail order bride. The reception will be held at New China. -"Gee-why would you want to lay-out? Class is so fun and you don't sweat." -"Dance Party USA" will sponsor Ganza. -Suite 7 Concord was forcibly taken from the BSU Party on charges of disorderly conduct. -Gregg Phelps caught a clue. -A series on the life of one of Winston's most infamous residents premeired Sunday night entitled "The Adventures of Black Pat Savage." -The whole senior class has been hired as admissions counselors for next year. -The newly blond Betsy Tate has accepted a position as as 1-900 call giri. -Abe VanWingerden has received his acceptance letter from Duke but has decided to take a year off in order to "find himself." -Chris Koscho was spotted in the library, -Kristy was not with him. -Bender went to a class. -Meek became a fraternity, Gamma Pu Pu. -Kerry is so very... -Memo from Student Life: Next year Concord and Meek are going to combine, becoming co-ed. -Dave Greene has discovered that he is a direct descendantof Borbon Carlos III. ' ' 9ni -Shelby French owns stock in a glue factory. -■Rick & Rod Hollowell bought a carton of cigarettes and passed them out to all of their friends. -The administration has decided to close the LA Building, instead of a dorm. -Mariquana will be legalized April 22. -Scandal uncovered—Pres. Reuschling plans to streak for graduation. -School bookstore has obtained an ABC liquor license. -Over Spring Break Granvillites shaved their heads and the baseball players vowed to grow their hair out and wear Birkenstocks. -Dean Greer will kick-off Ganza by shotgunning the first keg. -Wally Mann plans to graduate...and leave. -Suite 8 Concord has taken a vow of silence. Remember we saw what you did, but what did we do??? P.S.-Your fly is down!! HalHa! HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S !! Student Government and Graduation Report By Abe VanWingerden Senate President As graduation approaches next month, many students have been won dering about the graduation speakers and other commencement queries. Over the past month, the SGA Cabi net has activated the Graduation Committee who is in charge of run ning elections for graduation speak ers and coordinating other items con cerning graduation. The election was held on Friday, March 8, and Neal Bushoven, Professor of Politics, was selected by the Senior Class to be the keynote graduation speaker. Also on the ballot was student speaker for graduation, and the Senior Clas elected Bill Cox, SGA President, to deliver the speech. Other ideas for the gradu ation area also being considered, any suggestions, please see Bill Cox or Abe VanWingerden. In other news, the General Elec tion will be held on April 2. Please exercise your right to vote so that the elections will truly represent the opin ion of the entire campus. Also, on April 16, we will be having elections for dorm positions. If you wish to run for these positions, please fill out a nomination form which will be avail able in the Student Life Office begin ning April 4. Student opinion is not protected without good leadership in Student Government, so nominate yourself or encourage someone else to run. The Student Senate has been hard at work before and after Spring Break assuring that all items are taken care of before the end of the school year. First, the Student Senate is looking for an editor for the 1991-92 Lance and the Lamp and Shield. If you feel you or someone else is qualified for these important positions, please submit a resume to Bill Cox or Abe VanWingerden before April 15. Additionally, there has been some questions concerning the potential closing of a dorm for renovations next year. Although the renovations are still planned. President Reuschling, following a recommendation by the Student Senate and the Committee on Student Life, has decided to delay the closing for at least one year. The added bonus is that more privates will be available next year, so any senior or junior, and potentially any sopho mores will be able to attain a private room for the 1991-92 school year. Due to the lower number of students and budget cuts, there will also only be two resident directors per quad next year for a total of four. This will shift more reponsibility upon the Resident Assistants, as well as mak ing all students more responsible for their respective dorm. In conclusion, the Student Gov ernment has put many hours into as suring certain rights for all students, that student opinion is heard and that programs such as the recycling effort are continually updated. We have appreciated all the help and coopera tion we have received and we hope next year will be even better. Intramural Hoops Rise to a New Level GENERAL McARTHUR S “Original Pig-Pickin'" Pork - Beef - Chicken - Seafood Buffet menu Take-out orders Dinner: Wed - Sat 5-9 pm Lunch: Wed - Fri M - 2 pm Sunday lunch: 11 - 2 pm Barnes Bridge Rd. mile off 401 S. 276 - 1498 WE CATER. By Abe VanWingerden Staff Writer Over the past three years, it has been normal for intramural basketball to have about two or three top teams, and then*the rest of the leaguef ights it out for the bottom spots. But this year has seen an evolution of sorts with the caliber of the teams that are in the league. With a total of twelve teams, there are eight with winning records, and there has been only one team that has been able to avoid defeat. With the playoffs beginning next week, the battles should be fierce. With the parity in the league, the Director of Intramurals has decided to expand the playoffs to eight teams rather than the traditional four. But even the four teams that did not make the playoffs had a good year full of fun and excitement, which is what intramurals is all about. There is even news that these four teams, “The Crazy Zims” led by Anton Whiley, ' “The Albemarle All-Stars” led by Dan ' Auman,“Suite78”ledbyChrisBach- man, and the “TET Offensive” led by Eugene Tettamanti, are planning to start a bandit league during the play offs. This is only rumor, so this col umn refuses to report such an event because we only report the facts. The other eight teams have had some monumental battles over the past six weeks which include the March 7 th game between “The Power Plant” led by Batman Moody and the “Kingsmen” led by Jason King. In this game. President Reuschling hit a ten foot jumper in the lane on the game’s last play to pull out the victory for “The Power Plant” by a score of 60-58. President Reuschling was seen after the game giving ten dollars to referee John Sprouse, but this column refuses to report such illegal activity. Reuschling andSprouse are both under IBL investigation, however, and this could result in either suspensions or fines. In another historic game, “U Can’t Touch This” led by Andre Francis battled “The Meek Express” led by Scott Gregory on March 5th at Harris Courts. This game featured a defen sive battle as the teams traded the lead. “The Meek Express” prevailed with a score of 48-47 after a Matt “The Mad Bomber” McElwee free throw with ten seconds left in the game. “The Kingsmen” and “The Meek Express” battled on March 1 in a game that saw the Express take a 52- 38 lead into the game’s final minutes. But the Kingsmen were able to go on a 21-7 run to tie the score at 59. Aaron “Bricklayer” Barker then missed two free throws for the Express and Will “lee” Carter sank a free throw on the game’s final play to complete this historic comeback. The only undefeated team in the league' is the “Ollie’s JV All-Star Team” led by Oliver Wilson. The team has won all 1,0 of their regular season games enroute to a number one seed in the upcoming playoffs. Besides the ones mentioned above, the “Bobby’s Bomb Squad” led by Bobby Kulinski, “Sinead’s Superstars” led by Mike O’Connor, and “The Wahoos” led by the Hol lowell brothers have also qualified for the playoffs which begin on April 2 at Harris Courts. The league scoring title is still up for grabs between Andre Francis of “U Can’t Touch This,” Abraham VanWingerden of the “Kingsmen,” and Jeff Carroll of “Ollie’s JV All- Star Team,” each scoring about 24 points a game. The league’s turnover title was wrapped up early in the season by Anton Whiley of the “Crazy Zims” and the league’s eomplainer title is still in a tight battle between Chris Graham of “Ollie’sJV AIl-StarTeam” and Bob McIntosh of “Albemarle’s All-Stars.” Next issue will feature our year- end awards for the entire intramural season, including football and basket ball. Such awards are not given out every day, so you should make sure to get your next issue of the Lance fo find out the award winners. Happy April Fools! Party On!!! See ya’ at GANZA
St. Andrews University Student Newspaper
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April 1, 1991, edition 1
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