Newspapers / St. Andrews University Student … / May 1, 1991, edition 1 / Page 2
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Society Column By Sarah Cooper Tina Carter Jane Karpenske Sharon Frain As the year comes to a close we as seniors have high hopes for the future. It is hard to imagine leav ing the security of St. Andrews for the real world. Let’s take a look in the future and see what every one has been up to. The year is 2011. The Class of 1991 has gathered to catch up on what everyone has been doing for the past 20 years. Oliver Wilson owns an NBA team called “Ollie’s All-Stars” with Mark English as the coach.Trec Tisdale is featured at Sea World displaying his blue marlin fishing skills. Jamey Donaldson went on a camping trip and got kidnapped by Bigfoot. Mary Tolle and Kathleen Franklin are living in Australia giving rides on kangaroos. Fred Wilson Vs living in the jungle of South America helping Beth Patton overthrow a government run by Bill Cox. Abe Van Wingerden got tangled up in a scandal when a videotape was revealed of him at a “pic nic” with Jesse Helms. They are pictured running around the sprinklers. Paul Easlic and Badih Saikaly win the Nobel Prize in horticulture. Pat Savage has been promoted to Brigadier General in the Marine Corps, setting a record for the youngest general ever. Jane Kar penske has five children and has become com pletely brainless after trying to keep up with all the carpools and house cleaning. Sharon Frain became a millionaire when she was promoted from character to part owner of Walt Disney World. She is also sending Jane monthly allowances. Pat Hoss’ “Hosstyle” is syndicated in the Star. John Davis aka “The Hitman” is WWF’s new est heavyweight cham pion. He nailed David “The GoViath” Yates to the mat'. Jay Baumgarner owes a taxi company in Miami and makes frequent “confidental” trips to Columbia. Jennifer Franko becomes a star on “LA Law” after graduat ing from law school. Betsy Tate and Lau ra Rose open an art gallery/hair bou tique/laundromat in Seoul. Wendy Kulba chairs the St. Andrews English Dept, becoming Edna Anne’s boss. Susan Yeaman owns a disco where Shawn Hunter with occasional guest J.D. Hardt teach how to do The Hustle. Todd Spradlin tries to become another Oppen- heimer but botches the experiment, blowing up the lab and the block the Sin- opoli Brothers’ casino is on. Don Smith is still trying to become a play- write but his vocabulary is keeping people living in the dictionary. Marian Scholz was finally able to get an off-off Broadway spot with a modern remake of Grease starring Mary Cay Gibson as Sandy, Janice Brinkley as Pinkie, Jon Holloway as Danny, and Krys 'Wood as Rizzo. Marsha Hansen became the leader of Earth First and succeeded in saving 1000 acres of redwoods in the West. Joi Foss became a doctor and developed a vaccine for chicken pox which she tested on people while working in a soup kitchen. Anton Whiley is liv ing on the Gulf Coast giv ing three hour tours with Jen Dodgen. Jo Frost and Lane Moore were mar ried by Cindy Cushman but were divorced two days later because they had run out of things to argue about. The law firm of Gregory, Michael, Tanner, and Gumm is currently han dling the bankruptcy pro ceedings for Donald Trump for the fifth time. Tim Ward becomes the new Placido Domingo. Li Ki Khaw is on tour with the London Philharmonic. Jolie Jones opens a furni ture store specializing in sofas and love seats. T.V. Evangelist Skip Lee be came involved in a scan dal and is currently serv ing in prison with Jim Bakker. David Herr is currently running against Jesse Helms and is expected to win because Jesse has fi nally decided that he is getting too old. Margaret Rada becomes the first female President of the United States and has the first all female cabinet. Margaret Currie is her Vice-President, Jill Vamos her Secretary of State, Cindy Moore her Secretary of Education, Diane Reid her Secretary of Health and Human Serv ices, and Pam Whitfield her Secretary of Labor. Also, Jennifer Woodward is her press secretary. Brian Hinson and Brett Katz are suspected of being hit men for the Gotti family. Dobie Strickland opens up a fish fry and bar with Chris Koscho and Tim Whitson as the bouncers. Troy Dison breaks a world’s record for longest and loudest yell, unfortunately he can no longer be 1st Tenor with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. . . . Whatever you wind up j doing, good luck to the Class of 1991. m Congratulations! Amy Wright Love, Your Family 1
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