2 Monday. February 28.1994
To Be Or Belong
BY LOUISE MARR
The need to belong is natural, or is it?
Did we come into the world belong
ing—an integral part of humanity, a
piece of the cosmic puzzle with its
shape intact, des igned to fit the whole,
knowing ourselves to be part of the
big picture? And did we lose that
knowing in the shaping and the train
ing and the molding, now feeling we
have to bold, stretch, or reshape to
fit? And is the puzzle we’re trying to
fit into a warped, twisted version of
the original, so far from iu intended
design that it is unrecognizable? Have
we, as a product of this monstrosity,
lost sight of who and what we are as
well as the image of the original
picture? Has the fitting in become so
automatic that we don’t see the loss,
the giving up, the conformity? Do
the so call "misfits” have an advan
tage because from a distance they
have a better chance of seeing the
picture more clearly? Are they even
misfits or |wans amidst the ducks.
iitferences seen as strange or
weird?
The college years—a time of
transition, of developing individual
ity and independence—are a good
lime to take stock and assess where
you are in relation to the surrounding
picture...a good time to stand back
and ask yourself:'' ■
Is this something I want to fit into?
Do I like what I would be in it or what
I am in it?
Am. 1.having ta bend. ehange;"or
sqoiesze to fit? R
Isbelonging going againstthe grain?
Does belonging mean living a pie-
tcnsei, wearing & mask^ fabricating
false Self?, : ;
.'-jfiJi-ii. ■ !
Is the belonging real, genuine, en
during. or a temporary fix. an illu
sion?
Am I giving up my “self,” my true
nature to become a part of this?
Is it steering me farther away from
myself, making the road back harder
down the line?
You were the right sh^
from the beginning, with all that was
necessary to be you, like every living
thing begins with all that it needs to
be what it is. At the core, you're still
that intact puzzle piece. Be that, know
that, and eventually you’ll come to
the place you belong.
Counseling Clarified
by LOUISE MARR
The word counseling, com
monly associated with giving advice
and defined as such by the dictio
nary. is a misnomer in terms of the
counseling provided by the Career
andPersonal Counseling Center. Be
ing stuck with a name that easily
conjures up misperceptions, we felt
the need to clarify the meaning.
Talking with a counselor does
not signify weakness or mean that
you can’t “handle it yourself,” or that
you have a serious psychological
problem. On the contrary, because
by nature it involves an honest, in
tense look at oneself, it requires
stfcngth, guts, and psychological
stamina. It is “handling it yourself,
but with a partner in the struggle, so
to speak—someone who listens, sup
ports, facilitates, encourages, and
maybe even advises if appropriate.
Definitions and approaches
to counseling arenumerous. The pro
cess varies due to these factors as
well as differences in people, situa
tions, and individual counselors. A
definition, therefore, is less accurate
than a somewhat loose description of
component parts, examples being:
- a safe place to express feelings,
emotions, and thouf hts with
assurance of confid^mtiality
- a process of gaining insight and
awareness through self-exploration
- a supportive relationship based on
a nonjudgmental, accepting atti
tude
- dealing with grief, loss, crises
- dealing with relationships, family
issued, etc. s* "!■
. - identifying problems, exploring
options, working toward solutions
This is by no means a com
prehensive list, but hopefully will
give you a clearer picture of what
we’re about. We welcome and en
courage you to make use of the ser-
vices available at the Cento-.
A Letter From the Editor
BY MOLLY SCOLES
Well, The Lance is back, bet
ter than ever, and we could not have
done it without the help of some very
dedicated joumalists and the guid
ance of Trudy Smith.
We need your help in keeping
the paper on top of everything going
on around campus, so if you have
anything to contribute, such as po
etry, story ideas, placing items
Dealing with Sexual Harrassment
by MOLLY SCOLES
Janet Schilling, managw of the
campus bookstore, and Dr.Bill Faw.
associate professor of psychology
are the Sl Andrews sexual harass
ment counselors. The two deal day to
day with cases of harassment on cam
pus.
The program began in 1988
andhas been a "quiet" success. Many
students are unaware of the preva
lence of harassment primarily be
cause Schilling and Faw stress the
importance of confidentiality.
When a student or faculty mem
ber has a complaint. Schilling ad
vises that he or she keep a record of
each incident and go talk to one of
the counselors. Many times the situ
ation s can be resolved by talking out
the problan with those involved. If
the situation is serious, and/or the
offender does not stop the harass
ment . charges may be filed a hearing
is held, headed by a group of faculty
and staff not involved in the case.
Schilling and Faw said thatthey
work for free, putting in long hours at
times outside work to resolve situa
tions. When asked to rate the St
Andrews sexual harassment policies
Sdiilling said she was "extremely
satisfied."
If you have a problem, or sim
ply wish to talk about sexual harass
ment with one of the counselors,
Janet Schilling can be contacted at
exL 5308. Bill Faw can be reached at
ext. 5242.
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in the classifieds, or problems
for "Dear Gabby", drq> them off in
the box outside SAGA.
Now on to other business. Fve
heard many comments from the
"older generation” here on campus,
those w^o have been here for three or
more years, and they all say the same
thing. St.Andrews just isn’t what it
used to be. I have to agree, to a
certain extent, but without tearing
the sdiool apart
Fve been aroimd school of and
on for four and a half years, plus I've
lived in the Laurinburg community
for eight years. One thing Tve
come to realize is that things chmgf'
As people, we change all the time.
As a community we change. It is •
part of life-good or bad. Itishowyw
accept diange, and deal with what it
brings that makes the differwce.
I have strong ties with this
school and haveno intentions of turn
ing my back on it I hope those who
comment on it's state do the same.
I hope everyone has a good se
mester and tries to make a differa>^®»