November 1. 1996
Upcoming SACS review nothing to panic about
by Melissa Collins
SACS review time is upon us,
which means that the rumor mill is start
ing. Around here, SACS review is syn
onymous with panic. But what exactly
is SACS review and why is it happen
SACS stands for Southern Asso
ciation of Colleges and Schools. The
purpose of this particular visit is to check
on the progress made regarding sugges
tions and reconsiderations that had been
made previously. This visit will focus
primarily on the financial resources of
St. Andrews. The financial recommen
dation is the only one that remains un
settled at this time.
i \s ill be u 1.;‘. ^. ■c!', ■ 'r.'
mittee visiting on Oct. 30,31 and Nov. 1.
They will be responsible for filing a re
port to the SACS board in December. St.
Andrews will be notified concerning the
decision reached by that board in Janu
Special preparations are being
made to make certain that this visit goes
well. Reports on progress made have
already been sent to the committee and
a self-study report will be made avail
able at the time of their visit. Records
assessing all departments and areas of
study are also being prepared. The im
provements made in these areas will be
important to the review as well.
For students, rumors are a big fac
tor surrounding SACS review. In spe”'’ ■
ing with Dean Lawrence Schultz, several
of these rumors were addressed.
Rumor: St. Andrews is on the
verge of losing accreditation.
Truth: “Accreditation is not an
issue at this time. We are on sanction
and they are coming to see what progress
has been made. We have another year to
improve if they are not satisfied,” Schultz
Rumor: St. Andrews is weak in
academics and there is som'fething wrong
with the programs offered.
Truth: SACS reviews have con
sistently noted the quality, innovations,
and benefits of St. Andrews’ academic
The main point of th': vi;it i« to
give St. Andrews the opportunity to
show the progress it has made in meet
ing the recommendations. Proof of this
progress comes in fund-raising efforts
made and enrollment numbers. St. An
drews is coming off of the best fund
raising effort in college history and that
will show the progress that has been
made. Because of this, Dean Schultz be
lieves that the committee will find the
school is in compliance with the recom-
_mendations made. He is not certain that
we have reached the point of being taken
off of sanction, but he is sure that
enough progress has been made to show
good faith in improving the situation.
Sensuous Sandy rules the realm as Queen of the Knights
by Ann Wilson
If you are a contestant in a beauty contest, it can
be every woman's dream. If you are a man (and an
athletic coach at that), it can be your dream, too. Once
you've put on the stockings, sequins and silk , and
once you’ve applied the mascara, eye shadow and pan
cake foundation, the old competitive spirit takes over
(particularly if you are an athletic coach).
The drive to win conquered all on October 18
when five athletic coaches and a student dressed as
women for the Queen of the Knight beauty contest,
dance and fund-raiser.
Sensuous Sandy (Rob Perron), dressed in a white
spaghetti-strap chemise, sashayed her (his) way to the
crown. Defeated in their bid for Queen of the Knights
were Fabulous Frances (Jamie Joss), Luscious Lydia
(Ron Simpson), Gorgeous Gloria (Gary Swanson), Deli
cious Darla (Rob Conatser) and Ravishing Rita (stu
dent Chris Ott).
Judges Dennis McCracken, Carl Walters, Ted
Maier and Judy Word were assigned the difficult task
of selecting the queen.
“It was a very hard decision to make,” Word said,
“they were all good. But Sensuous Sandy just seemed
to have that special something. She was so soft-spo
ken, and she has great legs.”
Ted Maier also found the role of judge quite chal
lenging. “It was incredibly difficult. They were all so
beautifiil,” he explained.
Maier added that Sensuous Sandy edged out the
other contestants because of her poise and presenta
tion. “She was coquettish and had the legs of a dancer.”
Maier admitted he’s not normally a leg-man. “But that
night, I was a leg man.” Maier also like Ravishing Rita
and described her as “petite, svelte and graceful.”
Because the contest was based on beauty and
intelligence, all contestants had to answer several
thought-provoking questions. Asked who would be
her King of the Knights, Ravishing Rita, on the verge
of tears, lamented that it would have been Ron Lievense,
but he’s gone.
For Gorgeous Gloria, “Have you ever worked at
Hooters, and if not, would you consider taking a job
there?” The reply, “Since my breast reduction, I am no
longer qualified for that kind of position,” lamented
Before the Queen of the Knights was crowned, a
tie-breaker question was posed to Gorgeous Gloria and
Sensuous Sandy. “Name the song that best describes
Any Man of Mine was Gorgeous Gloria’s pick.
But Sensuous Sandy won the judges over with her
choice. Every Time / Think of You, I Touch Myself.
Sensuous Sandy said of her win, “It wasn’t one
of my highest aspirations, but it was a pleasant surprise.”
There was no swimsuit contest. Word said,
adding, “And thank goodness for that!” Questioned
about the overall attractiveness the contestants
possessed while dressed as women. Word said,
“There’s very little to be desired there, but they are a
great group of guys.”
The five contestant put on their sexiest, slinkiest
best for a good cause, to help raise funds for the women’s
basketball team, the host of the event. Nearly 300 people
attended the contest and dance, and the team raised
$300. The money will be used toward the purchase of
women’s basketball uniforms.
Amy Prince, women’s basketball coach, was
pleased with the success of the evening and might
consider making the Queen of the Knights competition
an annual event.
Ravishing Rita (Chris Ott) is escorted to thye Queen
of the Knights competition by Beth Larsen.
Photo by Tania Zehr