2
Mfly 15.1998
Fill in the Angst
Wendy's Old-Fashioned Subversion off Selff-Worth
^ .. .. n 1 ^ ,,,A AiAry't I'nriW AVnnlH With thcrS.
"Indulge in gratuitous
anti-social behavior!"
-Sam and Max Hit the
Road
"You from St. Andrews?"
Until recently, the words
I most feared to hear again from
an employee of a local fast-food
restaurant were "You got party
har." That's "har", rhymes with
"car," as in "hair." Now I'm
avoiding those places £ind en
during dinners of Lucky Charms
and peanut butter sandwiches
at Crossroads. I could escape
campus-enforced malnutrition,
but I'm anxious about being
cornered and subjected to The
Laurinburg-to-St. Andrews So
cial Litmus Test. "You from St.
Andrews?" It seems innocent
enough, but that question
could be followed by that sick
game: “Do You Know [Appar
ently Popular Person]?” Fail
ure results in public humilia
tion by a bitter human being
who compulsively adds,
"Come again," to every
"Thank you." Except this
time, your parting is precipi
tated by, "You don't know
him? You sick bastard! Take
your combo meal and get out."
To be fair, here's how it
really happened.
Look At the Freak-A
Conversation with a Cashier
"You from St. An
drews?"
Yes.
"What dorm do you
live in?"
Orange.
"Do you know [Appar
ently Popular Person]?"
No.
"You don't know [Ap
parently Popular Person]?
He's on the [Sport Normal
People Care About] Team."
Sorry. We're limitedly so
cial. We only know other limit
edly social people and those who
condescend to talk to us. "I'm not
saying you're weird" No. It's OK.
We are weird. "Y'all gotta be
weird if you don't know [He
Might As Well Be God and We
Must Be Atheists]."
At this point another em
ployee interrupts. "Did I hear you
say you were anti-social?" We
recap for the new guy and con
tinue our discussion with the
cashier. "You guys have to get
out more often. There's a life be
yond St. Andrews." Are you sup
posed to be proof of that? "You
can go away now."
The End
During a school-spon
sored party in Albemarle, I hung
out in a friend's room, and we lis
tened to evil music (evil being a
subjective term, compared tc. say.
"YMCA" and "The Macarena").
People we didn't know would
stop in the doorway to ask what
we were doing. "We're being
angry youth," we'd tell them.
The response was,
"Why would you want to be an
gry?" Then they got really mad.
Our refusal to go outside and
dance to music we didn't appre
ciate must have been a threat
to universal harmony.
I went to Hawaii in Win
ter Term. One night, a guy in
our group accused me," You're
going to think back on this and
say, 1 went to Hawaii, and I
wore all black."'
I like to think that one day
he'll look back and think,
"Whoa, Greg went to Hawaii,
and he wore all black." Maybe
he'll even remember that 1 met
other people I could hang out
Guest Column
Life's looking sunny,
whatever the reason
by Ben Beshears
Something different is
going on at St. Andrews. Is it
the fact that school is coming
to a close for the year or the
fact that we just had G ANZ A?
That may have something to do
with the attitude change. These
past few weeks, students have
been enjoying themselves more.
The change in the
weather could possibly be the
reason. “Honestly, it just makes
me want to go outside and have
fun,” St. Andrews Freshman
Vicki Olkowski said. “It doesn’t
matter what we are doing, nice
weather just creates a better
social atmosphere.” Since the
return from spring break, stu
dents have been blessed with
the sun as opposed to the cold
and rainy winter that everyone
has suffered. At sporting
events, people can lie outside
and get a suntan.
The social scene has
really taken off. The new
warm weather enables
people to just hang out in
the afternoon outside. On
the weekends, people can
be seen cooking out, listen
ing to music and enjoying
one another’s company. If
you ask sophomore Lee
Love, he will tell you that
nice weather makes life
worth living. “It is days
when you can hang out with
your friend and see noth
ing but blue skies that you
know there’s a God. I wish
everyone could have a
chance to go to school here
and enjoy this.
If it’s not the weather
that caused the attitude
change, maybe it is the fact
that we’ve just had the larg-
Interested in
submitting a guest
column to the
Lance?
Email Smithsuh.
with there.
1 find myself caught off
guard whenever these attacks
occur. 1 rarely respond with
indifference or rejoinders.
The truth is, I don't see why
this type of thing happens at
St. Andrews. 1 don't expect it
in Laurinburg. It's not that I
believe people are more toler
ant here, I just don't see how
anyone living at this school
can believe they have a so
cial life. Maybe 1 am a threat
to the social order. Perhaps
my refusal to join in on com
munity parties represents a
reminder that there is a life
outside of St. Andrews, and
it's very far away. Then again,
maybe I'm just an angry
youth. Believe what you will.
by Greg Chatham
est party of the year. The festivi
ties are still on everyone’s minds.
“I love this time of year with it be
ing GANZA time and all.” Senior
Deon Wingfield said, “It’s a time
when we can get crazy and not get
in trouble for it.” GANZA is some-
thing that the students of SA look
forward to all year: Live music, good
friends, good weather and good
beer. Why wouldn’t that cause an
attitude change for the better?
If it is the weather that has
changed everyone’s attitude or if
it’s GANZA, SA in the springtime
is veiy unique. Whatever it is-, it
seems to be working.
TMe Lflnce
Editor-in-Chief
Suzyn Smith
Sports Editor
IVlelissa Collins
Columnist
Greg Chatham
Cflrtoonists
Marlon Carey
Billy Christiansen
StHff Writers
Mary Fleetwood Donna Eliot-Thomton
Jason Cohen Sara Griffitt
Gasil Menius Mikey Romano
Maya Pottenkulam
The Lfince is produced, edited,
find designed by St. Andrews stu
dents. The Lflnce is printed py
Lflurinburg Exchflnge in LRurinourg.
NC. Letters to the Editor flre wei
corned, but must include nfime on
e-mflii Address.