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Jop 10 Signs You Won't Be Winning Any Academic Honors http://intranet.sapc.edu/clubs/lance/articles/honorslist.htnil April 6, 2000 Top 10 Signs You Won't Be Winning Any Academic Honors 10. Instead of a cap and gown, the registrar offered to save you time and get you a Captam D's uniform. 9. Your genetics professor keeps trying to talk you out of reproducing. 8. St. Andrews gave you more financial aid, but you really wanted to go to that school Sally Struthers is always talking about. 7. Instead of a conclusion, your term paper had a poignant "Springer's Final Thought." 6. You have a strict policy of "Do a calculus problem, do a shot." 5. After two semesters of Spanish, you still can't understand Speedy Gonzoles cartoons. 4. The only studying you did for your chemistry final involved a movie called Lusty Ladies of the Lab. 3. No Academic Award is given for "Drunkest guy at Luau." 2. Every one of your answers on your economics midterm involved buying Powerball tickets. 1. You keep insisting that your professors call you by your nickname, "Topless Tanya." Oh look, it's: -Suzvn Smith Back to Front Page 4/10/00 10:01 AM
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April 6, 2000, edition 1
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