STUDENT LIFE ^
Week of October 22nd.
28 Reasons Why English Teachers Retire
Analogies and Metaphors
1. Her face was a perfea oval, like a circle that had its two sides gentlycomprcssed
by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances likeunder
pants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy
who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes
with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools
about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with
a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature
Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that soimd a dog makes justbefore
it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his
wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-
free ATM.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball
wouldn’t.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with veg
etable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal
quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and
Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them
in hot grease.
l4-.»'*^ 'Long separated'bftfUeJ'fwe;'the star-twssed lovtK racai atross the grassy’field
' towkrd each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:3(5
p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35
mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resem
bled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that
had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan
just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a
while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real du
-ck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind
her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power
tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she
were a garbage truck backing up.
Hollywood’s Video Game Review
Have you heard of Fable? If you
haven’t, where have you been for the last
two years? Fable is the lastest and greatest
game released by Microsoft for their pow
erful game system the Xbox. Fable is great!
Its not a difficult game, but it is exciting
and the graphics are amazing. You can see
the sun glaring off your buff (or skinny)
bare chest.
Its a httle bit of “The Sims” mixed with
a lot of “Morrow Wind.” The game starts
with a young boy whose town is ransacked
and he is the only known survivor. The
boy is taken in by a guild and taught the
fine art of combat. After graduation, the
boy, who has grown to be a young man, is
released into the world to do good or pos-
sibly evil.' Inroughout the course or me
game the boy ages.
The nice thing about this game is you
can choose to play it however you’d like.
You can settle down and marry or you can
travel the world conquering all that may
stand in your way.
Head to your local Wal-Mart or video
game store and pick it up today. But don’t
forget to save $52.00 for Halo II which
should be on shelves November 9, 2004.
I I
Quest 1 Essays (continued from p
the Japanese Ministry of Transport, another kind
of faith is brought into play. There is little solid
representation of Pi’s journey with Richard Park
er, only litde things such as the meerkat’s bones
left in the lifeboat. Pi asks die man to believe the
Richard Parker story, and asks for his Faith. Both
religion and storytelling ask for people to have
faith in them and accept that cenain small details
are products of them without blatant physical
evidence. Religion and storytelling also face the
same stru^le of the unfaithful, trying to reason
all of the small miraculous occurrences instead of
accepting and believing in them.
Keeping that religion and storytelling share
.14) ,
a common bond of faith, it can be rationalized
that religion is storytelling. Each of Pi’s chosen
religions has books to teach their faith, to talk of
the stories that justify their teachings. Mattel uses
these stories throughout Life of Pi to build upon
the concept of religion being a story. Similar to
Pi, people look to their religion to explain aspects
of their lives. Religion continues to live through
the stories that facilitate them.
Without Pi’s faith in religion his survival would
not have been possible; without the faith of the
Japanese Ministry ofTranspon’s in Pi’s story, it too,
would not been able to live. Mattel’s parallelism
of the two made apparent their relationship and
justified the theological dimension of storytelling.
Faith allowed for an adolescent boy to survive 8
months in a lifeboat with an adult Bengal tiger.