The Lance
AfMril/MaylOll
Pag^ 15
ENTERTAINMENT
Think Globally, Act Locally”
Little Fockers
Review by Michael Dennos
There’s an obvious joke to be made about Little
Fockers, and I’m going to get it out of the way. this
movie is a focking atrocity. This movie is so painfijlly
unfunny, that a scene in which Robert De Niro gets his,
ahem, area stuck by a needle fdled with adrenaline sums
up the general reaction of any person unfortunate
enough to be subjected to it: screams of pain. I haven’t
seen a comedy this devoid of laughs since, well, last
summer’s Dinner For Schmucks.
Now I admit, I quite enjoyed the first two films in
the Meet the Parents trilogy. Those films had a real
comedic energy to them and the jokes were actually
funny. That, right there, is exactly what’s wrong with
Little although, that’s only the tip of the ice
berg. If I were to go fidly and vividly into everything
that is wrong with this movie. I’d end up writing a novel
rather than a review. Suffice it to say that the jokes are
terrible, the acting extremely half-hearted and the
whole affair just a mind-numbingly dreadful experi
ence. This movie is so bad, not even Jessica Alba pranc
ing around in her underwear saved it.
The plot finds Jack Byrnes (Robert De Niro) becom
ing more aware of his mortality, and as result, he
decides it’s time to start grooming son-in-law Greg
Focker (Ben Stiller) for the role of family patriarch.
Jack happens to pick the weekend the Byrnes-Focker
families are celebrating the birthdays of Greg’s young
twins to assess Greg’s potential as future family leader.
Now, guess where this will eventually lead: A. Greg acci
dentally slicing into his finger during a turkey carving,
B. Greg agreeing to sponsor a wonder drug for sexually
fnistrated older men and Jack suspecting him of having
an affeir, C. Jack catching Greg in a compromising
position with a half-naked Jessica Alba or D. All of the
above. If you guessed D, then you are right on the
money.
And therein lies another problem with Little Fockers-.
how painfully predictable it all is. Granted, the first
two were the same way, but those actually manned to
make us laugh. Little Fockers instead made me roll my
eyes so much, that at one point, I thought my ceiling
was a character in the movie. Heck, the ceiling became
more entertaining than the actual film. And when a
blank expanse of plaster is literally more engrossing
than a movie, you know you’re in trouble.
What a focking shame.
Stress Buster Events Spring 2011
Thursday, April 28th Water Rockets
Avinger Hill, 5:00 pm
With Kirsten Simmons
& Jamie Misenheimer
Senior Art Exhibit
8:00 pm in Vardell
Friday, April 29th
Saturday, April 30th
Sunday, May 1
Monday, May 2
Tuesday, May 3
Wednesday, May 4
Late Night Breakfast
Knights Dinging Hall, 8- 9:00 pm
Sponsored by Chartwells
3rd Annual Bard Awards
LA Theatre 8:00 pm- until
Refreshments Following Event
Homemade Cookies & Milk
Knight Life, 7-9:00 pm
Sponsored by Laurinburg
Presbyterian Church
SGA with Jersey Mike's Subs
Knight Life, 9:00 pm
Snow Cones with Career Services
In front of Belk, 2-3:00 pm
Brownies and Ice Cream
Knight Life at 7:30 pm
Sponsored by Health & Wellness
Highness
(Continued firom P^e 14)
Portman manages to breathe some life into it. Now, much of
the humor here is delegated to jokes concerning a certain part
of the male anatomy, but if you just embrace your shameless
sense of juvenilia. Your Highness winds up being pretty fiin.
The action is capably handled and exciting, complimented
by an adventurous score, and director David Gordon Green
manages to blend the action and comedy to a point where even
though the combination does feel a litde unbalanced and dis
jointed at times, it’s all still mosdy good stuff. Not to mention
all the cool magic mumbo jumbo.
Your Highness isn’t a comedy for everyone, but if you won
der what it would be like if Harry Potter were set in medieval
times and had a truckload of raunchy humor, then let me
quote the film’s tagline and say, “get your quest on.”