North Carolina Newspapers

    rMuc I ne News Argus i-ebruary 1989
Dear Diana: I am a sophomore in
college and my boyfriend is a sopho
more at a different college in Win
ston-Salem. We both love each other
very much and we like the same
things. We often talk of marriage. The
only major problem in our relation
ship is I'm black and he is white. We
both come from middle-class family
backgrounds. He has told his parents
that he dates all types of girls but he
did not tell them he was serious with
one in particular. I have not told my
parents about dating guys of the oppo
site race at all. I'm afraid they won't
approve. It's not that we are ashamed
of each other because we are always
together in public and we act as
boyfriend and girlfriend do. Of course
we get a few occasional stares in pub
lic and we've lost a few so-called
friends. But all this does is make our
love stronger because we want to be
together. We just want to know when
to tell our parents and what to do if
they don't approve. - Tired of Preju
Dear Tired of Prejudice: Love is
one of the most wonderful and
powerftil things two people can ever
have. I suggest that if you and your
boyfriend are really serious about one
another, then you both should tell
your parents no matter how afraid you
are. Prove to them and yourselves that
you two can be happy and have a
wonderful relationship. A person will
find out that in one's lifetime there are
always going to be some people who
do not approve of things one does.
But a wise man once said: "A person
can tell in one's heart when something
is right." Good Luck.
Dear Diana: I am a male sopho
more who is slowly but gradually
flunking out of WSSU. I just can’t
seem to concentrate on my school
work or in class anymore. I was an
honor roll student in junior high and
high school. But college life is so dif
ferent. I want to graduate from college
so I can get a good job and make a
nice salary. If I flunk out my family
will be hurt, I will not get a chance to
pledge the fraternity I want to belong
to and my life just might fall apart.
What should I do? — Borderline
Dear Borderline: It sounds like
you are facing problems that many
first- and second-year college students
face. I suggest that you sit down and
think about whether you really want
to be in college. College is not for
everyone. You may find that you will
do better taking a semester off and
working. This will give you time to
think things out. If you decide that
you really want to be in college, you
need to find the source of your prob
lem and get rid of it. Remember it is
your life, and a mind is a terrible thing
to waste.
Dear Diana: I am worried about
my roommate. We have been together
for two years straight, but this
semester is different. She does not
want to go to class and she usually
does not come in until the early morn
ing hours. I want to help her get back
into the swing of things. How can I do
it without hurting her feelings or
harming our friendship? -- Lost
Dear Lost Roommate: It sounds
like you are a very concerned person
who cares a lot about your roommate.
Your roommate has probably found a
new pastime, be it a job, hobby or a
new friend, male or female. There is
nothing wrong with this except when
it interferes with one's schoolwork.
Your roommate needs to sit down and
get her priorities straight and decide if
she is going to let this new pastime
keep her from her education. I suggest
that you sit down with your roommate
and tell her that you are concerned
and you care about her.
Dear Diana: My best friend, who
is a girl, just told me that she wants
more than my friendship. We've been
the best of friends since we were kids,
and I really don't want a serious
boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with
her. She’s a beautiful young lady and I
love her to death, but not in the way
that she would like me to. She’s a very
sensitive person and I just know I'll
break her heart by telling her the
opposite of what she wants to hear.
Can you help? - Desperate
Dear Desperate: Your best "friend
girl" may be stronger and more under
standing that you think. Talk to her
and let her know that you'U always be
her best friend, but you don't want
that type of relationship. Remember —
telling her just what she wants to hear
wiU not be good for you or her. Also,
not telling her anything can break her
heart more.
Dear Diana: My love life is topsy
turvy and I don't know what to do. I
am tom between two guys who say
they love me but one seems to show it
much better than the other one, and
I'm not certain who I really want. One
is very possessive and the other
"allows" me to be free to talk and be
in the company of other men. I feel
more wanted by the one who is pos
sessive simply because he seems to
care more. But on the other hand, the
other guy seems to trust me. I care for
them both dearly but am forced at this
time to make a decision. What should
I use as a basis to choose? - Cybil
Dear Cybil: Do not feel more
wanted because one of your mates is
possessive. If he is possessive now
while you’re merely dating, it will
only get worse and could result in you
living in a prisoned nightmare. Pos
sessiveness is a result of insecurities
and security is very treasurable in a
relationship. Your other mate seems to
be more comfortable with the rela
tionship and therefore allows you to
be carefree. The question is how care
free is he? Honey, really weigh each
man's qualities out equally and hon
estly to see who will truly make you
happy now and in the long run.
If you. need advice from Dear Diana,
write to her do Room 313, Hall-Patter-
son Communications Building.

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