Smoke Signals, Friday, October 12, 1979 —Page 3
Curious Zero Factor
Casts Long Shadow
Over 1980 Campaigns
BY GREG BASSETT
A bizarre factor of coincidence may
develop into an important 1980
presidentual campaign issue as the two
men shaping up to be the major parties’
nominees seem potential targets of a
tragic factor — the zero factor.
Since 1840 no president elected in a
year ending with zero has lived to finish
his term in the White House. The fac
tor’s first victim was William Henry
Harrison, 139 years ago, while the most
recent victim was John F. Kennedy, 19
years ago.
Of eight presidents who have died in
office, seven were elected in years en
ding with zero. Just two presidents,
Thomas Jefferson, elected in 1800, and
James Monroe, elected in 1820, have
escaped the zero factor. The only presi
dent to die in office and not fall under
the factor was Zachary Taylor, who
was elected in 1848. Interestingly
enough, Taylor died in a zero year —
1850.
Four zero factor victims have died by
assassination while three have died in
office of natural causes. Harrison died
of pneumonia; Abraham Lincoln,
elected in 1860, was assassinated;
James Garfield, elected in 1880, was
assassinated; William McKinley,
elected in 1900, was assassinated; War
ren G. Harding, elected in 1920, died
suspiously; Franklin D. Roosevelt, last
elected in 1940, died of a brain hemor
rhage; and John Kennedy, elected in
1960, was assassinated.
Although still unanounced as a can
didate for the democratic nomination,
Senator Edward Kennedy looms as a
target for the zero of the zero factor.
For years people have said the Ken
nedy family is “cursed,’’pointing to
family misfortunes and the deaths of
both John and Robert Kennedy.
With the slayings of his brothers un
doubtedly on his mind. Senator Ken
nedy will have a tough time campaign
ing for president. Should he run, the
zero factor can only add worry to his
already acknowledged fears of
assassination.
The candidacy of the front-running
Republican, Ronald Reagan, may also
raise some questions relating to the
zero factor. In 1980 Reagan will be 69-
years-old, and if elected, would be the
oldest president in U.S. history in 1983.
Reagan’s age in addition to the
pressures of the presidency, could easi
ly make him a victim of the zero factor.
In the 1980 elections the vice
presidential candidates could play their
biggest role in years. If indeed the zero
factor were to strike again, the nation
would turn to the vice president for
leadership.
When asked for his feelings on the
zero factor in 1960, candidate John Ken
nedy ironically called the zero factor a
“historical curiosity,” but said he
would not allow it to detour his political
assprirations.
Whether the zero factor will have an
effect on entries in the 1980 elections is
unknown. But Americans may be forc
ed to take the tragic coincidences of the
past into consideration when choosing
their president and vice president for
the 1980-84 term.
Of all the nomination contenders so
far, strangely the two most likely can
didates are the ones most vulnerable to
the zero factor.
Maybe Ted would be wise to wait and
run in 1984.
Thefts and Vandalism
Decried by Mrs. Vann
The following expreses the feelings
voiced by Mrs. Alice Vann, director of
residence hall life, after a weekend tour
of the campus disclosed thefts and van
dalism in the dormitories.
We believe publishing these feelings
may have a beneficial effect on the stu
dent body at large.
I wish I knew some way to express
my sentiments in some “neat” or eye
catching manner, but I don’t;
therefore, the best I can do. is to simply
tp state, “Jo you.wrho are guilty of theft
nr.and vandaii^ of campus rfveftding
machines and furniture, I AM VERY
DISAPPOINTED IN YOUR
BEHAVIOR.”
My “weekend on duty,” September
28-30, was filled with educational and
revealing experiences. As I arrived on
campus Saturday morning one of the
maids form West Hall greeted me with,
“I wish you’d go over and see what
they’ve done with the lamps and fur
niture.”
True, It could have been worse, but
what I saw really bothered me, and
whether or not you who are guilty of the
vandalism care how I feel, I want each
of you to know that I am extremely
disappointed in your behavior! Also, I
refuse to believe that the majority of
our student body is pleased with your
behavior. Why should they have to pay
for and be inconvenienced by your im
mature and inconsiderate behavior?
During the previous weekend, one
picture had been taken from the wall in
the lounge of West Hall, a sofa cushion
from one of the new sofas, and one of
the new footstools was taken. The
footstool was recovered during the
Walter Hollander (Aubrey Cuthrell) loudly insults the
Sultan of Bashir (Kevin Wilson) during a lively confron
tation in the U.S. Embassy as a wide-eyed Mrs.
Hollander (Becky Brasie) wonders what happens next
and a passive sultan's wife (Penny Jones) observes
silently in a tense moment during the Chowan Players'
performance of "Don't Drink the Water". (Photo by
Gary Joyce)
Chowan Players Earn Bravo
In Allen’s Topical Comedy
Thursday night room check. During the
early hours of Saturday morning,
however a lamp was taken, one was
broken in an attempt to take it, and two
footstools were taken. (The sofa
cushion and the picture are still miss
ing.)
You may ask why am I so “up tight”
about this matter. First — because I am
largely responsible for the lounge fur
niture and living conditions of the
residence halls. Second, and in this par-
„ ticular case, as the commercial states,
‘>‘I.put my money where my mouth is.”
Rr I wsmted thetresidents of West Hall to
have lamps on their new tables —
enough to pay for them, if necessary!
I know I can recover the money for
the lamps — and the college can
replace the sofa cushion and footstools
through “Pro-rate,” but that is NOT the
point. It’s the principle involved. It’s a
shame that the majority of students
must be inconvenienced and penalized
because of the behavior of a few!
I have not yet made reference to the
vandalism of the Nab vending machine
(another conveneince) in West Hall —
twice already this semester. Also the
Nab vending machine and the cigarette
machine in East Hall have both been
vandalized. When I visited Mixon Hall
on Saturday morning, I found cushions
missing from the sofa; a lounge chair,
. table, and lamp also missing. Even
Belk Hall’s Nab machine has been
tampered with.
I can’t believe such behavior would
be tolerated in your homes. Why should
it be tolerated here?
Since that weekend, the sofa
cushions, table, and lamp have been
returned to Mixon Lounge.
CLASS PRESENT — Miss Mary Whitley, Mrs. Elizabeth Parker and Mrs.
Ruby Udvornoki flank the silver urn presented the college by the Class of
1929. The urn is on display in the Columns lobby.
By ROSE DRAKE
“Don’t Drink the Water,” a stage
play in two acts by Woody Allen, seems
terribv timely in the light of our govern
ment’s current concern with 3,000 Rus
Sian combat troops are training in cuba.
Are they “combat” and numbered
accurately by our CIA, or are they “a
training” only and innocently few in
number as described by Castro and
Moscow sources? Ah, national security
and international intrigue.
One politician says that if those 3,000
wanted to, they could infiltrate and be
absorbed by the downtown Miami traf-
fice in a few hours. I wonder our man
Henry Kissinger would say if he were in
charge!
The comedy by Woody Allen centers
around an international incident in our
U. S. Embassy located somewhere
behind the iron curtain. And the man in
charge, alas, is no Kissinger, not even if
we can imagine a bumbling one.
This U. S. Embassy intrigue centers
around a family of three U. S. citizen
tourists, who are novices at interna
tional jet-setting. The inadvertantly stir
up intrigue involving all foreign affairs
personnel in the embassy, as well as
both governments and Secret Police.
The father has a machine-gun fast
mouth which alinost does them all in,
and it’s nip and tuck from first scene to
last, to see if the U. S. Embassy can sur
vive the invasion of the Hollanders,
with Krojak and his police on their
heels as the officials in charge try to
protect the Americans and American
foreign policy at the same time.
Who dunnit and who dun what?
“Don’t Drink the Water” is produced
and directed by Mrs. Sandra M. Boyce;
assistant director, Penny Jones; stage
manager, Robert Lesesne and assistant
stage manager, Daniel Kenan; lighting
by Jay Hilton (designer) and Warren
Sexton, Jr., assistant; properties by
Martha Brake (head) and Andrea
Tillett; Sound by Denise Reynolds and
Fredda Powers;-costumes by Darlene
Keene; programs by Pattie Bolgosano;
and publicity by Fran Morrison.
(Reviewed at the first dress rehearsal,
October 1).
The Chowan Players
The Cast
Father Drobney Dan White
Ambassador Magee Steve Whittemore
Kilroy Bobby Cunningham
Axel Magee Rhett Coates
Marion Hollander Becky Brasie
Walter Hollander Aubrey Cuthrell
Susan Hollander Laura Askew
Krojak Kevin Cole
Bums John Sullivan
Chef Darlene Keene
Sultan of Bashir Kevin Wilson
Sultan’s Wife Penny Jones
Kasnar Jamille Aceves
Count Bruce Walbert
In this farce on foreign policy Mr.
Know-it-all Hollander walks right past
the guards, barbed wire, guard dogs
and all, and manages to snap shots of
foreign military installations as picture
souvenirs of high-spots in his Iron- Cur
tain sojourn — quite innocently of
course. Despite his “bird brained”
wife’s protestations of “I don’t think
you can take pictures here,” he keeps
shooting film, albeit with an upside-
down camera, pointed at himself,
which yields great views of his own
nose.
Suddenly, they realize their jeopardy
when guards turn on them in an at
tempt to arrest them as American
Spies.
Now that they have escaped the ac
tion outside, just what have they run in
to, inside? To greet them is Axel
Magee, the absent U. S. Ambassador’s
son; Mr. Kilroy (first assistant) and
Mr. Bums, second assistant in charge,
in that order. The Embassy building is
peopled already with colorful residents.
of whom chief is Father Drobney, a rob
ed priest who ran from the pommunists
six years before. This pHest-tumed-
magician runs around stage in a strait-
jacket unexpectedly and even gets Kro
jak strait-jacketed. (Oh well, the priest
did say he found asylum here, didn’t
he?”)
Walter Hollander is a caterer from
Newark, New Jersey, who looks the
part dressed in his tathroom-flowery-
wallpaper-print shirt and bright shorts.
The interaction among the
newcomers and local residents
becomes quite pronounced as Krojak of
the Communist Secret-Police(an
almost Castro-look-alike) marches in
side the Embassy, exchanges mutual
insults with Hollander, and assures him
that he would drag him outside and per
sonally kill him if it were not for the
governmental red tape preventing him.
“The Dagwood Bumstead” Axel
Magee manages to remind Krojak that
he is treading on a peace treaty protec
ting the Embassy and its inhabitants —
so Krojak and his forces remain out
side, but just barely, with searchlights
coming in the Embassy windows, gun
shots iocasing'about the «atsi(^'»en-
trance and even a time bomb landing on
the Embassy floor.
Everyone is in a dilemma. Krojak
wants the Hollanders, (especially
Walter) and the Embassy wants to pro
tect the Americans and have peace at
the same time. The chef wants chicken
to cook for Walter, but uses hare in
stead. Soon, Ambassador Magee wants
his son fired. Axel wants Walter’s
beautiful daughter to be his wife, Kilroy
wants to run the Embassy instead of
Axel and Bums just wants to survive.
The telephone line stays hot between
the two countries’ negotiations, the chef
continues to be outdone at Walter,
Walter is outraged at the chef’s food
and Drobney does his best to keep the
audience abreast of the action.
The Sultan and his veiled wife want to
be treated as the oil-rich royalty that
they are, and Kasnar and the Count
want distance between Walter and his
unroyal manners.
Above all and beyond all, the
Hollanders want to go home (the time is
the present and covers a span of about
two weeks), and Axel strains repeated
ly to accomplish this end. But he keeps
thinking how international immunity
could be accorded Susan as his wife.
Can the bumbling Axel mastermind
escape for the Hollanders and marriage
to Susan? (Necessity is the mother of
invention, so ingenuity is certainly the
father).
Mrs. Boyce has a hand-picked cast
for whom the script seems to be writ
ten. And she easily guides the produc
tion into an innovative, convincing ren
dition of Woody Allen’s “Don’t Drink
the Water.”
Axel (Rhett Coates) falls all over
himself in all-out effort to do something
right, but instead keeps himself and his
life tied in knots. He is delightful in his
portrayal of an earnest, true-to-life
worrier.
Walter Hollander (Aubrey Cuthrell)
is a hero of sorts too. ifis “Archie
Bunker” biases seem to get the better
of him, and he is believable as the All-
American tourist husband and father.
Marion Hollander (Becky Brasie)
runs her mouth without first putting her
brain in gear, most of the time, and is
the perfect foil for Walter. Delightful.
The ever-beautiful Susan (Laura
Askew) changes her mind (which is
VISIT THE
STUDENT STORE
For All Your
Toiletries and
Personal Needs
every woman’s privilege) and decides
on the man at hand (Axel) for a hus
band instead of the brilliant back-home
lawyer. This makes everyone happy
there except Walter who thinks he’ll
have a stroke.
Ambassador Magee (Steve Whit
temore) is like the absent landlord,
with heaps of trouble on his head. Bet
ter he should stay at home more and
“mind the storei” instead of gallivan
ting around the henusphere by plane.
Kilroy (Bobby Cunningham) is con
vincing as the experienced second-in-
command whose expertise would have
saved the day (escape) except for cir
cumstances beyond his control (The
Grey Fox).
Bums (John Sullivan) is the low- pro
file second assistant who fares badly in
the course of his duties. There’s nothing
mundane to keep him happy. His life
seems to be a series of brush fires with
bare survival a main aim.
Krojak (Kevin Cole) is a little like a
Cuban Kojak. He works hard to get his
inan (Walter).
TTie innovative chef with'the artist’s '
nature, (Darlene Keene) wants cessa
tion of searchlights in her kitchen win
dows and removal of Walter’s unat
tainable main dish requests. The kit
chen spoon seems a natural tool in her
hand.
Kasnar (Jamille Aceves) and the
Count (Bruce Walbert) appropriate the
proper demeanor of the ultra-snooty of
the party-set social life of the Embassy,
projecting a warmth as cold as ice.
The Sultan of Bashir (Kevin Wilson)
and his silent wife (Penny Jones) lend
authenticity to the same foreign party
scene at the Embassy, and become
pawns of Axel’s in his great plan. How?
And does he succeed?
Indeed, each person in this produc
tion is an integral part of the whole as
we laugh at foreign intrigue in a foreign
land.
Monumental acting and directing are
the trademark of Mrs. Boyce and her
Chowan Players.
Judiciary
(Continued from Page 1)
eluding the chairman would vote by
secret ballot.
The Judiciary would not set a penalty
if a guilty verdict is retumed. However,
it could make a recommendation con-
ceming penalty in writing to the senten
cing body if it so wishes.
The sentencing body would consist of
the chairman of the Student-Faculty
Judiciary, president of the Student
Government Association and one facul
ty or administrative person to serve as
altemate, appointed by the Committee
on Conunittees. The associate dean of
students would be ex-officio to this
sentencing body.
The Judiciary Council alternates
would serve in the absence of a member
or when a member could not hear the
case objectively. The student alternate
would replace only a student member
and the faculty altemate would replace
only the faculty member.
TOe reconunendation of the sentenc
ing body would be reviewed by the dean
of students who would have the authori
ty to approve or alter its recommenda
tion.
The student defendant, according to
Winslow, would have the right to appeal
an approved sentence to the dean of
students and ultimately to the president
of the college: Also, the student would
have the right to appeal a sentence
altered by the dean of students to the
dean of the college and ultimately to the
president.
“There are some things that could be
improved on ... I’m not saying this is
utopia, but an alternate,” Winslow con
cluded.
Dunn, '79 Alumnus,
Honored for Work
Tandy Dunn, Chowan College
alumnus, Class of 1979, has recently
been selected Employee of the Month
for Parker Brothers, Inc. in Ahoskie,
where he is supervisor of the camera
department.
According to a release from Parker
Brothers, Inc., “Tandy’s nomination
was based on his consideration for his
work, concern for getting work out
quickly and efficiently, and his ability
to get along with all departments.”
Dunn, a graduate of the School of
Graphic Communications, was
manager of Chowan’s 1978-79 con
ference basketball champions. He
received the Superior Citizenship
Award at Honors Day this past May.
SGA MOVIES
, -Jj ai 9riz
Jaws
October 17
7 and 9:30 p.m.
Bingo Long and
The Travelling All-Stars
and
Motor Kings
October 24
7:30 and 9:30 p.m.
Eyes of Laura Mars
October 31
7 and 9 p.m.
50 cents with ID
$1 without ID
Slmeritan Collegiate J3ort£i 2ititf)ologp
International Publications
is sponsoring a
iSational College ^oetrp Contest
Fall Concours 1979
open to all college and university students desiring to have their poetry
anthologized. CASH PRIZES will go to the top five poems;
$100
$50
$25
$15
First Place
Second Place
Third Place
$10 F''"'
AWARDS of free printing for ALL accepted manuscripts in our popular,
handsomely bound and copyrighted anthology, AMERICAN COLLEGIATE
POETS.
Deadline: October 31
CONTEST RULES AND RESTRICTIONS:
1. Any student is eligible to submit his verse.
2. Atl entries must be original and unpublished.
3. Alt entries must be typed, double-spaced, on one side of the page only.
Each poem must be on a separate sheet and must bear, in the upper left-
hand corner, the NAME and ADDRESS of the student as well as the
COLLEGE attended. Put name and address on envelope also!
4. There are no restrictions on form or theme. Length of poems up to
fourteen tines. Each poem must have a separate title.
(Avoid "Untitled"!) Small black and white illustrations welcome.
5. The judges'decision will be final. No info by phone!
6. Entrants should keep a copy of all entries as they cannot be returned.
Prize winners and all authors awarded free publication will be notified
immediately after deadline. I.P. will retain first publication rights for
accepted poems. Foreign language poems welcome.
7. There is an initial one dollar registration fee for the first entry and a
fee of fifty cents for each additional poem. It is requested to submit
no mor9 than ten poems per entrant..
8. All entries must be postmarked not later than the above deadline and
fees be paid, cash, check or money order, to;
INTERNATIONAL PUBLICATIONS
P. O. Box 44927
Los Angeles, CA 90044