PAGE 8 - N.C. ESSAY
Continued FYom Page 6
rather glaring errors, so in the
face of two to one odds, I agreed
That night at the practice
debate, in spite of the fact that
neither Margaret nor I had
worked with tiie new case I had
developed, we still did better than
our opponents. We both came
away feeling better about our
chances and a bit more aware of
what we were up against.
Monday night, we had a debate
with John and Carrie. Another
Wake Forest debater went over
my speech with me and I agreed
to make another set of correc
Tuesday finally came and I was
waiting to meet the others. For
the first time, I was early so I was
having my speech typed. We had
planned our clothes (Margaret
and I wore black) for the greatest
impact. We all got together, had a
peptalk, and took off.
that’s how I came to be
walking down the steps to begin
my debate. By then I was down to
the speaking area. My speech
didn’t go too badly. I only lost my
place one and only stumbled over
five words. Eight minutes later, I
struggled up the three steps to
my set and thought “Only two
more times to go.” (We had to
repeat the debate three times
during the competition.)
I guess one gets out of this sort
of Sling what one puts into it.
Well, I put a lot into the actual
debating and I got a lot from it.
For the amount of preparation we
did. I guess we got more than we
deserved. The affirmative team
placed third out of 16. The NCSA
negative team placed fourth out
We all piled into the school car
and came back expecting the
champagne party we had been
promised, only to find it had been
a joke. We had to settle for a
hamburger, French fries and a
mil^hake. But even that was
short-lived because Margaret
had an opera rehearsal and I had
a crew call... But that is life at the
School of the Arts!
Continued From Page 7
(Keith throws down the telephone
emotionally and stares Mr.
Muller straight in the face.)
KEITH: 1 want the key. You have
no right. Give it to me now.
MR. MULLER: (Obliviously)
The key? What Key? Your key or
KEITH; The key to your office.
MR. MULLER: Yes, yes! The
key. You must forgive me, for he
does not know what he is doing. I
am in the third person again. (He
shakes his own hand.) Glad to
meet you - please sit down now if
you’re tired of standing up. (To
Keith) Come to my side and put
your palm upon this red biennial
catalogue of incognizant
superstition and repeat the lip
service I render forth.
KEITH: Then will you let me out
MR. MULLER: I said I would, if
that is what you wish.
KEITH: The key...
MR. MULLER: (In a mystical
trance, almost insouciantly:)
The key is he and I am she...
(Keith wearily places his hand on
the Bible in a state of blind
MR. MULLER: Repeat. I am the
teacher of physical pain and
KEITH; (Under Mr. Muller’s
control) I am the teacher of
physical pain and suffering.
MR. MULLER: Forced to create
KEITH; Forced to create un
MR. MULLER: With the urge to
procreate an inspired dream.
KEITH: With the urge to
procreate an inspired dream.
(During the foDowing antiphonal
colloquy, Mr. Mullers kneels
down on his desk and starts
undulating his body in slow and
deliberate sexual movements
over Keith’s torso, as he stands in
a state of overpowered sub
MR. MULLER: -To Sublimate
my carnal desires in a fight
KEITH: -To sublimate my carnal
desires in a fight against fancy.
MR. MULLER: With fancy
finally winning out.
KEITH: With damal desires
finally winning out.
MR. MULLER: (With increased
excitation) Listen to my words on
high, my prodigal son. Be sure
that the class in which you wish to
enroll in is open. A closed door
will not be opened for you. If you
have an academic deadlock in
your schedule, adjustments will
not be made to avoid conflicts
with the hours you work. If you
can enroll in an open class, go to
the table for the class in which
you are registered and have your
name deleted from the roll. You
should be given a slip of paper
saying that your name has been
deleted. Do not give the attendant
your old class card; keep it in
your pack. Go to the table for the
class in which you can enroll, and
give the attendent the slip saying
your name has been deleted from
the roll. Receive your new class
card, and obtain the key from
your instructor; from the man
who has lost his golden locks of
(Mr. Muller touches his scalp and
the last strand of hair falls out,
floating down to the floor. His
voice now shakes in orgastic
For with extreme unction, I do
extoll thee, man of action, -
through my implanted seed, I do
pass on this libidinous freedom
into a womb of fecundity; I dub
(He starts to dub Keith but he
cannot reach out for him because
he suddenly grows extremely
weak; instead he dubs himseft
with the door key, which he has in
his hand the whole time. Then, in
a slow muted whisper of
MR. MULLER: Onan.
(He withers slowly to the ground
after a moment of orgastic
fulfillment. Keith looks on in a
• bewildered state of hysteria. He
moves to pick up the key but he is
blinded by a well of tears in his
eyes, which drip down onto his
bloody nose. He searches for the
key as he gropes around the floor
on his hands and knees. He finally
gets a hold of it, but then in his
excitement he drops it again. By
this time, he is scuttling around
the room like a mouse lost in a
maze, trying to find his way out.
He scurries along the walls in a
final attempt to gain direction.
He brushes against the tape
recorder and turns it on ac
RECORDING: If at any time you
have a question, raise your hand
and someone will call on you.
(Keith raises his hand in slow
deliberation as the lights fade
Photo by Barcelona