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Hie N.C. Essay
O
;i: Weather for the North Carolina :■
$Arts School and vicinity, dark:?
tonight turning bright by mor-^:
Sning. j
Lampooned in Uii^.
By Michael Singleton
THE EVICTION NOTICE
On Strangeness
Strangeness is a state of being which is both incidental
and co-incidental. The reality of the strange person is
that there’s nothing anybody can do about it. For in
stance, some people are strange and like it. They, of
course, become slowly stranger. Others are strange and
don’t like being that way. They become weird. Now we
have strangeness and weirdness to consider. But, let’s
not.
Ever been to a strange party with strange people and
felt left out because you hadn’t lost that many of your
marbles? Smith wrote in Doogle Noodle, “To be
strange, one must think like somebody they know who is
strange.” We know today that his or hers acclaimation
is too simplistic. However, it’s the thought that counts.
To obtain strangeness, you must have a model to go
by. If there had never been strange people, there would
never have been strange people copies. If you have
trouble finding that Mr. or Mrs. Right for your head, be
adventurous. You can always “Throw out the ole bird
seed!” as the old saying goes. You must be careful,
though. Nothing is weirder than picking a birdbrain.
Strangeness cannot be inherited. Thus, views of
strangeness will always be like rubber bands and basket
weaving. It must be inhaled one way or the other.
Bye Kids,
Bobbin Needle: Chief at large
Strop’s Sports
Student Government Reviewed
JOE FLAME, shown burning
away, tries hard to melt down
that tall colunm of wax before
winning the first round of the 1972
Parrafin Open at Tonsingle last
week.
The evening started out quite
well. Hors d’oeuvres were served
at7;00.By8:00, it was time to get
down to business. Senator Sam
Spoon of D dorm presented his
proposal to merge the campus of
the North Carolina Arts School
with Winston-Salem. “It is about
time,” he said, “We recognize
that NCAS cannot exist as a
separate nation.” Objections
were heard, and the debate
continued for quite a while. So
what. Nobody really cared.
Later, tension mount^ briefly
when Congresswoman Sally Didfi
of 2nd floor Sanford began to
foam at the mouth. President
Mash Potato de Gravy rose and
growled once or twice, and that
was the end of that.
I became bored during the
voting scene. I got that, you
imow, wanting to leave feeing.
Just as I was about to exercise
that right, I happened to glance
over to a far comer and notice
that Congressman Frank Fork of
1st floor E was setting up a
sauntering Transvestial
Projections Unit. Before the
voting ended (it looked like the
merge question was going to the
garbage disposal anyway), and
as my own interest grew, ‘ZAP’
out came all sorts and l^ds of
delicasies designed to make even
the most noble of mouths drool in
the most bazaar of ways.
Congresswoman Penelope Plate
of 3rd floor B along with Qfty
members of the audience went
totally and repeatedly into the
bananas. Soon, the whole
assembly was rocking and rolling
to the tunes of flopping flap jacks
and bouncing jello cubes.
During the intermission, 1 went
behind the desks to ask of the
Secretary of State Soupy
Crackerwhat his present
motivations. Upon asking, I
received a funny sort look
followed by deep knee bends and
mountains of cackling laughter. I
decided to move right along and
get other opinions. But, all an
swers were the same. The
audience loved it.
Suddenly, the lights changed
color, music boomed out in quad.
Senator Tammy Tray of C dorm
began chasing her tail around in
a circle, and Act II was under
way. Senator Gilbert Glass of
Moore rose and acted out the
famous monologue from Smith’s
Valioso when young Valioso is
just about to get into it. It didn’t
make any sense, so.
Congresswoman Dish accused
the Senator of getting carried
away and getting hung up in
stupidity. The conflict that
resisted turned into a pep rally
for the audience, and
backstabbings were reported
under all grandstands.
Congressman Butch of 1st floor A
swerved in for a low dive which
ended disasterously for Senator
Spoon, who was still
sulking over his NCAS- Winston-
Salem merge defeat. The coffee
jug ran out. Congressman Nat
Napkin filibustered by sticking
his head into the jug in protest to
lap up the remaining film. The
joke was on him, though, when he
discovered he was to a Jug
Head for life.
President Mash Potato de
Gravy rang a bell to start the
mess. Doors flew open, and
waiters entered with the main
course. Congressman Fork
stabbed some fish. Senator
Tammy Tray had pie, President
Mash Potato de Gravy had roast
beef. Congressman Napkin had
none, and I had to go to the
bathroom.
After a quick smoke, the third
act ended with the council
throwing out little goodies to the
audience. Everything was
gobbled right up. Then, Special
Effects added reverb to the
music and visions on the ceiling.
Senator Glass proposed that
everybody take off their clothes.
Tho motion was seconded and
passed instantly and
unanimously. Soon, Everybody
and their cousins huddled
together buzzing like bees in a
bee hive. As things got out of
hand, the theatre melted. The
naked void was filled with 3d
hexigons. Smoke floated into the
air.
Then, the surprise of the
evening! Smokey the Bear,
complete with bucket of water
and shovel came in to cool things
off. However, he found all the
honey much too tempting.
Everyone buzzed, and Smol^
gulped away as everything
disappeared.
The next morning, I picked up
my pieces and decided to leave.
Some were still eyeballing jello
cubes inside and out when I
passed the check-in counter. All
in all, it was fun. I wouldn’t have
missed it for the world. I just
hope they let me out of this
padded cell soon.
Commons Tree To Meet
Its Maker
The Commons Tree, symbol of
where to meet for a long time will
feel the inevitable blade next
week. It seems that it has gotten
just too big for the circle around
it. It is hoped that the top bran
ches will be left in the circle as a
memorial.
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The Road
The long, rambling road
Feels srft in and ttirnngh
Morning’s sweet air.
I am on a trek,
Trucking a path,
Down the lone, straight, and
shaded.
I pass a ditched car
With a flat tire.
I have no spare,
So, truck onward!
Truck the trek
Down to the fork beyond the
pass.
There I’ll find Highway Ninty-
three
And my Baby.
Poindexter Bardwell
★ Contest ★
If its not an A
a D or a C,
What could it be?
Prizes awarded each month for
the most involved answers.
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