She Bebteje
U. s. POSTAGE
PAID
Permit No. 217
Rocky Mount, N. C.
Noa-Profit Organization
“No News Is Good News
VOLUME xm, NUMBER 21
HOCKY ROCK, N, C,
APRIL 1, 1972
This mod group, FISH, will sing (?) or Dlay (?) at Wesleyan’s
'72 Spring Flop.
Social Commission
Plans Spring Flop
Helen Steiner and Tom Hardi
son announced plans today for
the upcoming “Spring Flop
Weekend” to be held next De
cember 22 and 23, The week
end, planned around the theme of
"The Fourth of July inWinter”
will be open to anyone who hap
pens to be around the campus,
“We hope to pull some custom
ers off 301,” commented Har
dison, “by re-routing the high
way through the college.”
Friday, the 22nd. “E, Ben-
idict and the Fantastic Plates”
will perform at a breakfast con
cert from 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. A
fantastic group,” commented
Hardison, “this 12 man group
has a fine style and they are
really talented! One of them
is even learning to play the
guitar and hopes to buy one be
fore their trip to Wesleyan,”
Friday night from 9 to 1
“Corn” will appear in the S.U.
“This group is super,” said
Steiner, “They play much like
Benny Goodmanusedtoo.” Stei
ner also commented that
“Corn,”from Rye, Georgia, has
an excellent reputation from
their recent six week tour with
Wesleyan Theatre
Presents “Hair”
Professors of the the-A-ter
department, Dick and Joe, have
recently announced the cast for
the American tribal love-rock
musical, “Hair.”
George Berger, a fury with a
fringe on top, who has been
thrown out of high school, will be
portrayed by Bill Neale, Claude
Hooper Barkowski, played by
Danny Shephard, is Berger’s
best friend and a leader of the
pack who is about to be drafted.
Sheila, portrayed by Martha
Moore, lives with both Claude
and Berger and is a protester
from N.Y.U. Tee Simpson, as
Woof, has been barred from the
Y.M.C.A., and Hud, better
known to us as Berl Garrett, is
really Stokely Carmichael with
(Octtitinued On Page 4)
Swith Over Department:
Four More Tracks Added —
New Depot Complex Planned
Tiny Tim’s cousin, Scrouge U.
Uppenhiemer. The charitytour
carried them to mental hospi
tals and prisons, throughout the
South. “They really captivated
the audience!”
Saturday afternoon an outside
concert is planned from 2 to 4
at the fountain, “FISHIN”, from
Pole, Georgia, will perform on a
revolving stage set up in the
fountain, “We’re trying to fi
gure out how to keep them from
getting shocked,” said Hardi
son, “We may have to turn off
the fountain,”
Saturday night at the Lodge
of the Loyal Order of Ameri
can Democrats from 9 to 1
the semi-formal dance will be
held. Two bands will perform,
“Rehash” and “Aesop’s” will
play.
“Rehash,” said Hardison,
“isn’t worth a dang, so we
looked for another band that
might be a little better.”
The concerts are open to any
one free. Wesleyan students
will be expected to have paid
$2,500 tuition for the years in
advance to get free tickets from
the Dean of Student’s Office.
Wesleyan students were more
than shocked yesterday when
plans were announced to install
four more tracks and build a
depot in whichto co-ordinate all
of the switching. While some
students were almost euphoric
about the new system, the old,
nasty conservative element of
the college objected stating that
this new system was, in their
words, “choo, choo much.” In
Rocky Mount the Chamber of
Commerce was overjoyed; Di
rector Felix Rale Rhode stated,
“We’ve always supported the
college, and now with this new
track program we have a place
*
In Track V students will study applied railroading and all of its
implications. Such a program is another way of saying, “Educa
tion is our most important product.”
to relocate our old Main St,
tracks. We’ll even contri
bute to the capital depot fund,”
The new program will add
four tracks to the existing three
track program. Students who
choose to enroll in track IV of
the new program will receive
course instruction in law and
civil cases; those students in
Track V will study applied rail
roading and all of its implica
tions, One special sidelight
to this program came from the
music department. It was re
ported that when the admini
strators of the seven tracks
heard that some criticism had
been voiced, they said, “Nuts!
We’ll crack this problem,” The
music department, hearing this
new statement, has decided
that under the new track VI pro
gram all students enrolled in
either track IV (civil law) or
track V (applied railroading)
may enter their production of
“The Nutcracker Suit,” Ac
cording to reliable sources,
this combination of instruction
al devices is what new educa
tion is all about. Finally, the
physical education department
will monitor track VII which
will consist of spring track.
It is to be noted that Dr, Moo
(Continued On Page 3)
M. R. Flat Donates
Funds Foi Complex
President Top Hat Collards
announced Friday, March 13,
that the final plans are now
being made for the construc
tion of the Fine Arts Complex
and the donor, Mr, Money-bags
R, Flat, ni, would be on cam
pus for the ground breaking
ceremony on Friday, March 30.
The new Fine Arts Complex
will cover the area next to the
gym of the ten-year-old Battle-
boro Tech campus located six
miles north of Rocky Mount,
North Carolina,
Dr, Collards remarked that
without the aid of Mr, Flat,
there would probably have been
a twenty-five year delay in
construction. When interviewed
yesterday, the sixteen year old
millionaire said that the main
reason he donated the complex
was that he felt twenty-five
years might be a little late to
begin practicing the fine arts.
Besides, he liked the looks
some of the present co-eds,
Mr, Money-bags R. Flat, III
is the son of the great Money
bags R, Flat, Jr,, the original
financeer of B, F. Fleyers and
plans to attend three years from
now when the building is com
pleted.
Corhutt Russian Moves
To Republican Party
Corbutt Russian announced
today that a campus Republican
Rally is scheduled for Satur
day, March 32, at 3:00 p,m, on
the practice shooting range.
The announcement was quite
unorthodox. The former stau
nch Democrat breezed into the
noon meal in the cafeteria, stood
up on a table, and announced
that the Rally would take place
and that he expected to have
complete support of the student
body. His parting remark was
“Register Republican - TO
DAY!!!” Mr, Russian was dres
sed in a conservative black
suit and patent leather dancing
shoes. When questioned later
about his attire, he commented
that he was just mourning the
death of the Democratic cause
and dancing in the victory of the
Republican Party,
Mr, So Daa Fountain will be
the main speaker at the Rally
in debate with an active Demo
crat, to be announced later,
over the glory for and financial
savings of the people in the
continuation of the present in
ternational financial policy.
When asked why the sudden
radical switch from Democrat
to Republican, Mr, Russian re
plied, that he had seen the er
rors of his beliefs and wanted to
show others the fallacies in the
Democratic Party, Mr. Russian
made the statement that from
now on, his Constitutional Hee
Haw would be a study in the
errors and evils of Democratic
Supreme Court Judges.
Professor RJissian is busily de
nouncing the Democrats in one
of his many lecture tours.