North Carolina Wesleyan College Rocky Mount, North Carolina 27804
ARTS & STYLE
February 5^
200«
Movie Critic Ranks Top Ten Films of 2005
Bv Matthew Fsterlinp .. ^ „ . t .1 t ui t
By Matthew Esterline
Decree Staff Writer
Welcome Back! I’ve got enough recent
ticket stubs and bootlegs to fill up a suitcase.
That’s how much I want you, the faithful read
ers, to know about my effort to be as accurate as
possible when I name the ten best movies and
the worst movie of 2005. The only require
ment to make the list is a 2005 theatrical run
in America. I’ve seen almost all of the Oscar
crap. Allow me to summarize. “Munich” sucks,
“Syriana” sucks, “The Constant Gardner” sucks,
“King Kong” is too long and sucks, “Brokeback
Mountain” is poorly directed and contains some
of the worst acting of the year, “Memoirs of a
Geisha” is annoying and the ending sucks, and
‘The New World” is the slowest movie of the
bunch (and it sucks). Enjoy the list below!
10. “Sin City” - There were some other
movies in competition for this spot. “2046” was
decent. “Constantine” was acmally worth watch
ing. “Lord of War” had its parts. “Palindromes”
and “Kontroll” were slightly less annoying than
most movies. Instead, I have decided to go for
the gaudy monstrosity that is “Sin City”. The
effects are good, but the stories were crap and
every actress should have been replaced with
someone better. Still, the movie is unique and is
certainly one of the milestones of 2005.
9. “Broken Flowers” - The best thing about
this movie was the realism. The story was crap
and the resolution was nonexistent, but at least
I could watch the movie and see characters talk
like people actually talk. Bill Murray’s character
searches for the writer of a letter saying that he
has a long-lost son. The search leads nowhere,
but is still worth watching.
8. “Torremolinos 73” - This is a 2003
festival holdover from Spain that did not hit
any real theaters worldwide until 2005.1 don’t
know what the holdup was; I really enjoyed
this movie. The story concerns an encyclopedia
salesman and his wife getting involved in the
film industry and accidentally becoming famous
Any fans of Bergman or fans of movies that
don’t suck should see this movie.
7. “Corpse Bride” - When I first saw this
Tim Burton/Johnny Depp film, I thought it was
just average. Upon reflection, I realized how
good this movie actually is. I thought the songs
were good, the story was better, and the anima
tion was incredible. Screw “Wallace & Gromit:
The Overly Long Subtitle”, “Corpse Bride” was
the best animated anything of 2005.
6. “Nine Lives” - This was the best
ensemble movie put out last year. The movie is
just nine uninterrupted takes put together as a
film. The themes range from family to love to
loss. There were many actors in the movie who
were good, but Molly Parker, Robin Wright
Penn, and that child of the com from “War of
the Worlds” stole the show. The movie’s good.
The ending is solid. Watch it if you can find it.
5. “Thumbsucker” - This is a slightly
upbeat movie about a teen who is addicted
to, you guessed it, sucking his thumb. Usually
the teenager with a problem movie is boring,
but this movie was not. Strong performances
by Vince Vaughn, Vincent D’Onofrio, Keanu
Reeves (for once), and Tilda Swinton make up
for any stoiy problems in the movie. This is a
solid movie worth watching.
4. “Melinda and Melinda” - This was the
first Woody Allen movie released this year
(and the best). The movie tells two different
versions of the same story. One is dramatic and
Nationally Known Writers
To Read at NC Wesleyan
Decree Staff
Two days after his dog gets hit by a car,
my son starts playing dead—the opening line
in Quinn Dalton’s short story “Endurance
Tests”
We’d been kissing all day-~all sum
mer-kisses tasting of different shades of lip
gloss and too many Cokes... —from the Stuart
Dybek story “We Didn’t”
Two award-winning writers will read
from their work this semester as part the NC
Wesleyan Visiting Writers’ Series.
Series coordinator Jim Bowers has
announced that fiction writer Quinn Dalton will
open the series Feb. 16, and poet and fiction
writer Stuart Dybek will come to campus on
March 21. Free and open to the public, both
readings will take place in Powers Recital Hall
of the Dunn Center. A question-and-answer ses
sion, a reception and book-signing will follow
the readings, which will begin at 6:30 p.m.
Dr Bowers, an assistant professor of
English, has been impressed by the work of
Dalton, a South Carolina native and graduate
of the North Carolina-Greensboro MFA pro
gram. “In sharp, elegant prose, Dalton writes
of contemporary women’s struggles with men,
marriage, and family,” he said. “I’m teaching a
love and friendship’ sequence in my composi
tion courses this term, and her stories will not
only introduce many of my students to the joys
of contemporary literature, but also add to my
students’ knowledge and understanding of our
topics.”
Dalton has published a novel, “High
Strung” (2003), and a story collection, “Bullet
proof Girl” (2005). Her stories have appeared
m such literary magazines as Glimmer Train,
StoryQuarterly, The Baltimore Review, and
the Kenyon Review. She was awarded the
Pearl 2002 Fiction Prize for her stoiy “Back
on Earth,” and received a North Carolina Arts
Council Fellowship in 2002-2003.
Dr. Bowers credits Dybek with turning
him on to contemporary fiction while he was
an undergraduate. “When most of one’s time
is spent on the past—and the Norton antholo
gies—Stuart Dybek was the first contempo
rary writer I recall reading who ‘knocked my
socks off,”’ Dr. Bowers said. “In a way, he
started me on a path that led to my Ph.D. in
contemporaiy American literature.”
Dybek, a Chicago native and a professor
of English at Western Michigan University, is
the author of the story collection “I Sailed with
Magellan,” chosen by the American Library
Association as one of the 26 Most Notable
Books in 2005. His earlier works include
story collections “The Coast of Chicago” and
“Childhood and Other Neighborhoods,” as
well as two books of poetry, “Streets in Their
Own Ink” and “Brass Knuckles.”
To obtain copies of individual stories by
Dalton and Dybek, contact Dr. Bowers in the
English Department.
one is comedic. Will Ferrell stole the movie
and Radha Mitchell should be nominated for
Best Actress. This movie stands alone while the
recent “Match Point” stands as more of a rehash
of older, better Woody Allen movies.
3. “Nobody Knows” - “Nobody Knows”
came out in American theaters in 2005 as a 2004
holdover from the festival circuit. This movie is
amazing. Four children in Japan are abandoned
repeatedly by their mother and are often forced to
fend for themselves in a small apartment. Eventu
ally, the mother disappears permanently and the
children choose to stay together rather than go to
child welfare and be separated by local agencies.
This film is worth watching.
2. “Me and You and Everyone We Know”
- This movie is one of those “Magnolia” or
“Go” type movies where a lot of characters
interact over a period of time. This movie was
just as strange. The story focuses on a recently
divorced man named Richard (John Hawkes)
trying to save his life from becoming a misery.
He meets a strange woman (Miranda July in
the best performance by an actress this year) in
a similar situation while trying to reestablish a
relationship with his two children. The movie
seemed to comment on everything while avoid
ing being pessimistic like most independent
movies. This movie was almost perfect.
1. “Capote” - The best character actor
alive today will finally get an Oscar, thanks to
his performance in this movie. Philip Seymour
Hoffman made this movie perfect. No other
movie put out in theaters this year was better
or more deserving of any awards. The film
dealt with Truman Capote, the writer of “In
Cold Blood”, and the years he spent developing
and writing the book. This movie is the perfect
example of a biopic and may be the best movie
of the last five years. See this movie.
And now, the worst movie of 2005... “War
of the Worlds” -1 was really hoping nothing
else came out this year that was worse than this
movie so I could bash the crap out of it again I
was still a pretty close race, though. “Munich"'
is a horrifying image of things to come from
the already crappy Steven Spielberg (“Inspired
by Actual Events” means no one involved witli
the film cares about what actually happened)
“Crash” was an insult to anyone’s intelligence
(Since when is a real person motivated
entirely by race? What about age? Class? Sex?
Location? Intelligence? Actual Emotions?
Morons). “The Constant Gardner” is a perfect
example of a movie that was a complete waste
of effort from beginning to end. “The Longest
Yard” may be the worst remake ever made (or
“Fever Pitch”). “Hustle & Flow” sucked. “Nortli
Country” sucked. So did “Proof’, “Shopgirl”
and a bunch of others. Where were all the good
roles for women and minorities? Movies were
so white this year I was nearly blinded.
And guess which movie was the whitest
of all? Yes, “War of the Worlds.” Let’s nitpick
at the more annoying aspects of the film. That
camera could not have worked. No car on Eartli
can be fixed in ten minutes. How stupid is that
kid to drive a car right into a crowd of people?
They make it on the feny. They make it out
of the water. They make it down that hill even
though the ships are mere feet behind them.
Cruise warns another survivor not to hit a probe
with an axe, kills him later, then hits another
probe with the very same axe. The ex-wife, her
family, and her new husband are untouched
after days of attacks while Cruise and the kid
have been to hell and back. All the kids makeil,
I was wondering if a full-course meal and some
classical music would be waiting for Cruise’s
character when he entered that cracker house.
This cracker movie was made with just enough
cracker sensibilities to ensure that crackers
would enjoy the movie and buy copies of it.
“War of the Worlds” sucked beginning, middle,
and end. Eveiy copy should be destroyed and
that kid (either one) needs a savage beating.
■A.
"Bicycle Rider," a
kinetic sculpture by
North Carolina folk
artist Vollis Simpson,
is one of many works
exhibited at the
Mimms Gallery as
part of an anniver
sary reunion show.
Simpson is one of
53 artists featured
in the show. More
than 200 attended the
recent 10th anniver
sary celebration.
Photo by Shannon Williams
Super Bowl from pg. 3
basketball player, you have to go out and shoot as
much as Kobe does. Kobe is a very good player,
and right now is playing better basketball than any
other player in the NBA. Can you name someone
else right now that you think is playing better
basketball than Kobe is?
AD: I give Lamar Odom credit for not
nngmg Bryant’s scrawny neck yet. Odom playing
like a middle schooler? You can’t be serious!!!
Odom has a better FG % than Kobe this year. His
field goal attempts average is the lowest it’s been
m his seven-year career because Kobe Bryant is a
ball-hog. Odom is almost averaging a double
double with over 14 points a game and over nine
rebounds a game. Correct me if I’m wrong but
aren’t guards supposed to be the assist men in
basketball? Then why is Odom, a 6’ 10” power
forward, leading the team in assists?
TS: I’m going to stop writing this article in
five seconds if I have to keep listening to this crap.
Odom is “almost” averaging a double-double,
great, but was he not supposed to be the next big
thing on the Lakers franchise. What has he done?
He s doing nothing. He has done nothing to help
improve that team. Sure, Kobe takes a lot of shots,
but he has to because he’s the only good player on
that team. I don’t think Lamar Odom is even half the
player that Kobe is. If Odom doesn’t like him, then
he can get off the team. Now let’s get back to the
Shaq issue. If I’m the Lakers, I’m looking for a bet
ter under-the-basket player, because that’s all Kobe
needs to have another championship ring. What has
Shaq done with Dwayne Wade? Answer that. That
team has sat in second place in the East, THE EAST,
for two seasons. Hell, Shaq can’t even handle Ben
Wallace, Answer my question, Ant.
AD: Are you kidding me? Shaq is the best
big man, without question. He took a mediocre
Heat team and made them a playoff team. Now that
Wade has a little more experience, you’re talking
about a championship-caliber team. The real ques
tion should be how have the Lakers fared since they
lost Shaq? They were 34-48 last year, tied for dead
last in the division with Golden State. Pathetic.
TS: Shaq has a back-up man in Wade. Who
does Kobe have? I heard the crickets chirping
before I asked the question. Kobe has nobody else
on that team except him. If you’d put a mediocre
center on that team at best, you’re talking a
playoff caliber team again and maybe even a
championship.
AD: Thank you...you just made my point
for me. Kobe doesn’t want anybody around him
because all he wants is the spotlight. He had better
than a mediocre center with Shaq.
TS: They had to get rid of one of them, they
really did, because the two guys didn’t like each
other. One had to go, and who went? Shaq. That’s
my point exacdy.
AD: You need to go see a doctor You must
still be suffering from that hit you took in high
school from Mario Williams. I hope it’s a good
diagnosis so you can make me laugh some more
in the next Speak Your Mind!
EorroR's Note: If you would like to take
issue with our opinions or recommend a topic
for debate, contact us at Trevl986@aol.com, or
AD285203 @mail.nc wc.edu.