The Elon College Weekly.
The Weekly' Directory".
BURLINGTON (N. C.) BUSINESS HOUSES.
Buy Dry Goods from B, A. Sellars & Sons.
See Burlington Hardware Company for Plumbing
Get your Photographs at Anglin’s Studio.
Cooper Dry Goods Company.
B. A. Sellars &Sons for Clothing and Gents’ Fur
nishings.
See Dr. R. M. Morrow when in need of Dental
Work.
Real Estate. Infurance and Loans, Alamance In
surance & Real Estate Co.
Barber Shop. Brannock & Matkins.
Dr. J. H. Brooks. Dsntal Surgeon.
See Freeman Drug Co. for Drugs.
ELON COLLEGE. N. C.
Do your Banking with the Elon College Banking
and Trust Company.
For General Merchandise see J. J. Lambeth.
For an Eklucation go to Elon College.
GIBSONVILLE, N. C.
Dr. G. E. Jordan, M. D.
HIGH POINT. N. C.
People’s House Furnishing Co.
'James Thomson—Unmarried.'
'Gray.—Unmarried.'
'Hume.—Unmarried.'
'Sterne.—Married. Got on badly
with his wife and had various love affairs
and sentimental philanderings.'
'Adam Smith—Unmarried.'
'Boswell.—Married. Frequently un
faithful to his wife.'
'Goldsmith.—Unmarried.'
'Gibbon. —Unmarried.'
'Sheridan.—Married ; not unhappily.'
'r.
owper.—Unmarried.'
The Unhappy Love Affairs of
Men of Letters.
From Current Literature we take the
following abstract of an article by the
above given name. Students of English,
in particular, may find in it some interest
ing facts.
"Mr. Sidney Low, a well known Eng
lish writer, has lately gone to the trouble
of compiling a list of the representative
literary men of Great Britain during nearly
three centuries, with a view to ascertain
ing their 'condition in.regard to marriage.'
The list, as published in The Nineteenth
Century, is as follows : i
'Shakespeare.—Married at eighteen, |
with hasty irregularity, a woman of hum
ble origin, eight years older than himself.
The union seems to have been unsympa-
thetic, and the terms of the poet’s will
point hr an estrangement between hus
band and wife.' '
'Milton.—Married three times. The
poet’s first wife left him aft*-r a few weeks.
He wrote tracts on divorce, and paid his
addresses to a very handsome and witty
gentlewoman until the wife returned.'
'Dryden.—Married—unhappily.'
'Bunyan.—Married twice—satisfacto
rily.'
'Hobbes.—Unmairied.'
'Pepys—Married. Unfaithful to his
wife and frequently quarreled with her.'
'Samuel Butler.—Married late in life.'
'Newton.—Unmarried.'
'Locke.—Unmarried'
'Swift.—Secretly married to a woman
with whom he never lived, and whom he
hardly ever saw except in presence of a
third person.
'Defoe.—Married. Had several chil
dren. Little known of the circumstances
of his domestic life.'
'Addison.—Married three years before
his death. The marriage is generally
said to have been uncomfortable.'
'Steele.—Twice married ; happily in
spite of irregularities of conduct.'
'Congreve.—A bachelor and profes
sional man of pleasure.'
'Otway.—Unmarried. Life wrecked
by an unhappy passion.'
'Pope.—Unmarried.’
'Prior—Unmarried,'
'Fielding.—Married twice. Devoted
ly attached to his first wife; after her
death married her maid.'
'Richardson.—Unmarried.'
'Smollett.—Married—satisfactorily.'
'Samuel Johnson.—Married a vulg .r
and affected widow twenty years his
senior. The marriage considered a gro
tesque affair by Johnson’s friends and con
temporaries. Childless.'
'Burns.— Married to a woman who
had been his mistress. Occasionally un
faithful to her afterwards.'
'Crabbe.—Married; satisfactorily.'
'Bentham.—Unmarried.'
'Wordsworth.- —Married; satisfactorily.'
'Scott.—Married ; not quite sympa
thetically.'
'Southey.—Married twice. First wife
became insane. Married his second wife
at age of 66, just before complete failure
of his own mental faculties.'
'Coleridge.—Married ; unsatisfactorily.
Husband and wife became alienated, and
lived apart.'
'Shelly.—Made an imprudent marriage
early in life. Separated from his wife,
who committed suicide.' J
'Keats. — Unmarried. Tormented by
an unhappy love affair.' |
'Byron.—Separated from his wife after *
a great scandal; and entered into various ^
irregular unions.' j
'Ctiarles Lamb.—Unmarried.' j
'Hazlitt. — Ma.ried twice. First wife!
divorced him ; second wile refused to live j
with him.'
'Leigh Hunt. — Married ; not ^quite
happily.' j
'Thomas Moore- M*tiied; satisfac
torily.'
'Ue Quincy. — Married; happily, so
far as the husband’s habits permitted.
Wife died at age of 39. One can sup-!
pose that hers had not been the easiest
or happiest of lives.' j
'Macauley. — Unmarried.' j
'Carlyle.—Married; bickered a good
deal with his wife.'
'John Stuart Mill. — Unmarried.'
'Herbert Spencer. — Unmarried.'
'Darwin.—Married ; satisfactorily.' .
'Ruskin.—Marriage annulled.'
'Landor. — Quorrelled with his wife,
and lived many years apart from her.'
'Dickens.—Separated from his wife.'
Thackeray.—Wife became insane.'
'Charles Reade.—Unmarried.' |
'Froude.—Married ; satisfactorily.'
‘Matthew Arnold.—Married; satisfac
torily.’
‘Kingsley.—Married ; satisfactorily.'
‘Tennyson.—Married ; satisfactorily.’
‘Browning.—Married ; satisfactorily.’
‘Rossetti. — Unsatisfactory married life,
ended by wife, two years after wedding,
dying of overdose of laudanum.
'Edward Fitzgerald.—Separated from
wife.’
‘James Thomson.—Unmarried.’
‘William Morris. — Married; satisfac-
I torily.’
‘Walter Pater.—Unmarried.’
pected way. There was no matter of
business to transact at the meeting last
night, and for this reason the preliminaries
were very brief. At the conclusion of
the introductory exercises, the speech of
"Hiram Demosthenes," upon the subject,
"What the Faculty Thinks of the Student
Body," was called for, and Mr. Demos
thenes entered upon the discussion at
once.
"The lives of these great men remind us
of our boyhood days, when you and I
were very little boys and our fathers were
very large men. 1 remember vividly some
occasions, when 1 was none too glad to
see father come home at evening. I will
mention only one instance, and 1 aissure
you it was not an isolated case. One
evening father came home, and mother
seemed unusually glad to see him, and 1
think she must have put a bug in his ear,
for immediately after supper father called
me to him, said a few words about dis
obedience, took me across his knee just a
little while and gave me a lesson in what
1 now call "physiques." Well, 1 never
saw the temperature change so rapidly
in my life; my face burnt and perspired,
but it was not half so hot there as else
where. Father handled me just like a
newspaper, except he doesn’t turn the
newspaper upside down.
"Now, the point 1 want to make is I
this: According to the opinion of the
‘Faculty,’ you and 1 occupy the same po
sition to them that 1 did to father, when
the foregoing incident took place. Now,
if some of these pedagogues get hold of
tnis speech, the weather may get warm
for me again."
At this moment Julius Caesar inter
rupted, "Have no fears, Hiram ; say
what you think; 1 guess that bunch is
asleep now."
"Some of these savants are of a pretty
good sort, but put them all together, and
I you have done spoiled the meeting."
"That’s enough, Julius ; we’ll let you
i tell what you think of them next week.
I Now you fellows can’t amagine what a
task 1 had to find out just what the
'Faculty' does think of us. One jokingly
said, "the student has a natural aversion
I to all kinds of profitable labor;" another,
j "the student thtnks that he is as smart as
we are, but he ain’t; another talked
more seriously and said, "I learned these
things twenty years ago ; I'm surprised
that you do not learn them more easily ;
is the finest subject I ever studied ;"
another remarked, "there is the least
j studying going on around here 1 ever saw
at a college ;" another one of these peda
gogues suggested, "young man, you had
better look after your grades;" and still
another remarked, "forsan et haec olim
meminisse iuvabit verbum spienti satis
est; " another, "will you relieve us a little
bit, please ?" another, "tell in about
twenty words what you know about the
Roman Empire, make your answer
brief;" another, "your name came about
in this way: in thewcrd 'amuck,' change
the u to i and ycu have it; " lastly, "don’t
be stupid, put the tone up in your nose."
I have used considerable time and
care in selecting these quotations, still it
is a very important mirror for the reflec
tion of their opinion of us, however if you
look at it awhile, you may get a glimpse
of yourself as the Facuity sees You.
This excellent body thinks that a brick
wall two feet thick and two stories from
the ground is a sufficient protection for
the girls at night, and a four acre plot of
campus, with an imaginary fence around
it, good enough for the day time. They
think that a fifty-minute period is too
short, and a great many things which we
would not agree to, until next week.
Now a little tribute to fhese fathers of
learning and I am through.
“West Dormitory ” has been captured,
“East Dormitory" is besieged,
Tell me what will happen next.
And I’ll be much obleeged.
No Respector of Sects.
This policeman arrested the other night
an elderlv gentleman who was parading
the street in a night-gown.
"Good gracious, officer !" said the old
gentleman, with a start, "it’s all right. Let
me go. I'm a somnambulist."
But the policeman tightened his grip
on the old fellow's arm.
"It don’t make no odds what your re
ligion is," he said, "you come along with
R. M. MORROW, Surgeon Dentist
cTVlORROW BUILDING,
Cor. l-ront CBb Main Streets,
BURLINGTON, - - N. C,
G.E.JORDAN, M D-
Office Gibsonville Drug Co.,
GiBSONVlLLE, - N. C.
£LO/V 64^A'//v6 6 r/f(/sr CO,
.^AUTHORIZED CAPITAL $25,000
We are prepared to do a general banking busi
ness. We solicit the patronage of the people
Elon College and the surrounding country.
DR. J. H. BROOKS
DENTAL SURGEON
Office Over Foster’s Shoe Store
BURLINGTON,
N. C.
The Unexpected Seven.
Yesterday morning while the "Bone-
head Departmenr" at "East Dormitory,"
and the limp forms of those fair creatures
at "West Dormitory" were sleeping eas
ily or uneasily, upon couches soft enough
to crack walnuts upon, the "Unexpected ^
Seven" met in its usual quiet and unex-1
DIDYOUEVER STOP TO THINK
Of the many cases where DISEASE has been contracted by hav
ing your LAUNDRY WORK done in the same room that is
used for eating, sleeping, and the using of Opium?
Sanitar/* Methods Used in
Burlington Steam Laundry
RALPH POINTER, Agent,
Elon College, N. C.