THE ELON GOtLEGE WEEKLY
VOL. VI—New Series
ELON COLLEGE, C., OCTOBER 24, 1913
NO. 5
THE FACULTY.
The members of the Faculty
To us are very dear,
But oftentimes our hearts beat fast
To have them very near.
They seem to teach with questioning eyes
Before an eager class,
Anil 1 assure you they are wise,
And will hold you to the last.
The “big man” of our dear old school
Is loyal, good and wise.
Each day he brings another rule
That conduct grades might rise.
The man that we now have in mind
Is noble Dr. Harper,
In Latin you will never find
Another who is sharper.
Professor Lawrence, wise and true,
We love with all our heart;
His eyes, they seem to tell anew
The lessons we have learned in part.
A nobler man you’ll never find
To teach an English class.
He elevates the weaker mind
And shows you how to pass.
If information you desire
Of Bible truths and facts.
And if you want a real live wire.
Dr. Newman’s on the track.
This man is good and kind and true,
His intellect is great;
But when hot weather comes to you.
He is as cold as zero’s rate.
me gil'ls.
Whene’er we visit Gym.
She thinks we are her priceless pearls
When we obey with so much vim.
She is the Dean of Women, too;
Her task is slightly hard;
For our good traits are so few
That our conduct grade is marred.
Dr. Wicker, the wisest man
Of all the faculty,
Will set you far back if he can
If you don’t know geometry.
The brown-eyed man is full of fun;
He teaches History.
Dr Amick is his name.
And he is quite a mystery.
Professor Brannoek teaches us
Of birds and beasts and brooks;
And if you care to hear him fuss.
Just tell him that you have no books.
Dr. Randolph never tires
Of French and German nouns,
There’s nothing that he more admires
Than giving all the sounds.
Professor Campbell, a jolly “Mose,”
Is good at Latin too.
He smiles at life as on he goes.
For he knows “Her” love is true.
Professor Daughtry teaches us
Just how to talk and write.
There’s one good thing, he 11
E’en though we miss the right.
Professor Doak we all admire.
Because he smiles so cute.
On being asked whom he’d desire,
He’ll say, “Not you, dumb brute.
Professor Kellum for the Preps
The Math rule does explain.
All the girls he gladly helps
Any knowledge they wish to gam.
Professor Hook is good and mild.
He teaches us of cats.
He Ibves so hard he’s almost wild,^
“He don’t know where he’s at.
The man .who ret 1 the “little marks'
Is Mr. Jorgenson;.
He flirts and gets ii some big larks,
And then he has eome fun.
S. B. T. and A. L.
A S^iNNET.
Tonight I must try a si- luet to write—
To please my teacher ! -ar 1, can’t quite;
And-so to fulfill his uivnaiil’ request
1 will now take my peu i jd do my best.
But my teacher says liitie by little
To great and noble poets . e must grow.
Therefore, I must nevei be . iscouraged
Although at first trioj, I make zero.
You may search the wi hr, 'de world o’er,
You may seek the nieh learned, wise and true,
And vou'll find, tin. tuvluning troubled too."f"^^paj.)-iiy upon it.
Although you know tlu^ arc some born geniuses,
Our teacher, with ii- jj/I.'w.ll agree
That we are not nmoiif: them, as you see.
F. P. D.
A STOEY fROM BASEL.
There is an old clopj^ upon the old tower in
Basel which ha^ Uet-n running too fast for a
hundred years. But the clock deserved spec
ial distinction, for it once saved the City of
Basel. This clock h:i»—How is it possible?
Upon the Rhine everylldng is possible. Only
listen: Once upon a tifiie the city was besieged
and hard pressed by iie enemy. Among the
inhabitants of Basel ^here was one traitor;
he sold himself to the enemy an^intepded to
open the gate oT r>- -T:.y'.fr'om witnin alwut
midnight, alter the cl'ck struck twel-e, and
let the eneni' i-uttT- _ , .
, tf,.- ’ ... . .limiiU ....
tower heani of the n ...... • treachery anc re
solved to save th(> city. But how could m do
it? Should he give alarm?
awaken the soldiers anl the Council? It was
too late for that. Th.v* there came to hiui a
saving thought. He f.irned the hand of the
clock cjuickly around and it struck one instead
of twelve The traito:-, who was already on
his way to the gate, heard this. “T'^ere now !
he murmured, “I have overslept myself! and
sneaked back home. The enemy wai ed and
.j^-aited—the gate r.ot opened. taUy iiexi
morning the ma> or heard what had -
The traitor atoned for his guilt upon the ga
lows and it served hini right. Thy let the clock
continue as it was going.
But what ab('ut the enemy ? They gave up
the seige and tied ov,.- the bridge across t^he
Rhine. Now the good inhabitants of Basi
were happy. In thep’ happiness they had a
second clock made, a very large which
thev hung in the tower of the bridge. Instead
of a pendulum this clock has a great heat
which moves to and fro sixty times a minute
and at every time it sticks out its tongue in
mockery at the enemy, who fled
across the bridge. Whether the clock is^ still
there today, I do not know. Go and see.
Translated from th. Germa^ ^
aee you ready?
In the issue of October 31st will appear the
names of the Alumni of Elon
subscribers to the Wi eki,y. Also, wheie they
are and what they are doing. We want vour
name to be included. May we have your sub
scription before that Iste? The publication is
published for the benefit of the student body,
their friends, and es) ecially for those who de
sire to keep iu.toucli with the institution in
all of its phases Wi 11 you subscribe .
RESPECTfUL LEnERS TO FRESHMEN.
II. To Burton Bookworm.
B. My Dear Burton :
First [ must congratulate you on the honors
you deservedly received when you graduated
from liigh school in June. To stand at the
head of a class of 157 is no small achievement.
To be valedictorian is great glory. I under
stand that your average grade throughout your
course was 96, and that only twice wa.s yoiir
standing less than A. That is a splendid rec
ord. It means thativou wiU-probably &‘come
Vi^^S^^guishel^chdlar. 1 Yelicitate yoifmost
artily upon it.
And now that you are going to Markham
University, further honors are open to you.
You will doubtless win prizes and scholarships.
You will graduate magna cam laude, even
maxima cum laude. Professors will hereafter
look back upon your achievements as the most
remarkable in the history of the university.
You will get the European fellowship. You
may even be invited to join the faculty. All
this is open before your clear brain and your
lofty aspirations.
I am saying this, partly because it is true,
and i)artly because I want to establish a basis
of sympathy for what I have further to say.
For I noticed. Burton, at the hi"h school
commenceinent, how sallow and aua;mic you
i ii.'
*?riTTBTpm liv^T, a n
muscles, and a di.ordpred stomaen ^
disgrace to you. Biirti.n. : .d one
Ill 1
to counterbalance yonr scholarly g ^ •
Your face is pimply, young man- i our eyes
lack lustre. Your voice is weak ^ou hands
are clammy. Your bearing is languid, ^ou
o»»p onlv lialf a man. _ . . ,
Do von realize that the finest Latimty in the
workl'may be floored by indigestion? Do you
understand the ceaseless warfwe waged upon
mathematics by rheumatics ? Do .
hend how thoroughly a headache
logic and smash philosophy and annihilate lit-
Whet'you get to Markham burton, I want
you to go first, not to the library, but to the
gymnasium. I want you to take up
or rowing, or take some vigorous outdooi sport
Twant vou to do this, not merely for its effect
on your studies, bui because, You
itself, a strong body is well worth while, ^ou
have a good brain, Burton. Don t kt it g
to seed in a shrivelled-up physKiue. You may
stand at the head of your class, but if you
graduate into nervous prostration, what will
it profit you or the world ?
Yours for your full-orbed success, Caleb
Cobweb.—('■ E. World.
A teacher is a lower grade was instructing
her pupils in the use of the hyphen. Among
the examples given by the children was bird-
That’s right,” encouragingly remarked the
teacher. “Now, Paul, tell me why we put a
hyphen in ‘bird-cage.’”
■“It’s for the bird to sit on,” was the start
ling rejoinder.
Have just spent two days in Richmond and
,.ynSL'rg b.fying .tc»k-C.p. «•«•.
etc. Come in, get a bargain.—C. A. Hughe..