Page Two
MAROON and GOLD
Satui*day, Novemiier 22
f
speaking of food
ijiuijt cufixi, ih£UDSLbJtij i^tut i itsicsL&AithjJj^ M0
This year, contrary to some opinion, the food sav
ing. plan has no hope of accomplishing what it Has
•et put to do; that is, if what the United States has
set out to do means feedng Europe and other starv
ing continents, because we Americans must have
our fill and more at each meal, even if it results
in leaving a slice of bread with only one bite taken
there-of on our plates. Well, what is a wasted slice
of bread? Not much, but if there were means of
saving the half slices Jeft on the plates in our dining
hall each day for a week much extra grain oould
be sent to the starving. America does not need
to tighten its belt to feed the world; Our garbage
cans contain enough food to do that if we could only
prevent its reaching the cans.
The congregation of the Englehard Methodist
Church abandons tradition this year to enjoy Thanks
giving diners within their private homes. Hitherto,
they had banded together and partaken of a feast
on one of the good member’s lawns. Of course, there
was ever a great amount of ceremony and thanks-;
giving, but the food was ef such quality that a man
would wait for days to have a sample. Usually, after
the great quantities of native delicacies had been
sufficiantly blessed, all hands would ply themselves :
at that wondrous pastime until the last morsel had
vanished, and then homeward plod their bulging
selves.
Last year the ceremony and vast quantities of
every conceivable kind, of food were arranged for
. day of thanksgiving as usual. There was a slight dif
ference, however, for instead of the old minister, wlio
had recently become superannuated, a young min
ister was officiating. The young man was something
of a genius and possessed a kknowledge of much that
was not of his profession, since originaly he had
aspired toward engineering. For instance, the picnic
tables were discarded as being outmoded, and in
their stead a brilliant idea manifested itself in the
form of a new roll of wire fence. With the aid of
several deacons, much impresed by the inventiveness
of-the new parson, the fence was stretched between '
two trees with the wire horizontal to the earth. So
taut was it stretched that one could pluck the ■
strands and musical sounds would issue therefrom.-
On this, which was a hundred feet long, were placed
tablecloths along it’s full length, and then food was
applied until one could barely see across the top. The
table sagged not an iota, and all who saw it marveled
thereat.
The ceremonies began. While the minister stood
upon the stone steps to the cottage and talked, the
impish children were sneaking around the table and
applying the finger. Many of the good congregation
scolded the youngsters because they felt it unfair
that they could not do the same. Minutes dragged
on and some who had gone without their morning’,
meal so that they might enjoy the feast the more,
were on the verge of famishing. An hour passed and
there was every evidence that the preacher had eaten
a hearty breakfast. The gentle breeze was in that di- ■
rection ihost perfect for wafting the delightful odors
of the picnic table to the noses of those who were
already ■ drooling and ready to perish.
Joyous moment! The time was at hand at last!
The parson gave them instructions to approach the
table while the food was being blessed. All arranged
themselves so that their hands were within reach
of what they wanted most. The final Amen was said
and the food was theirs.
But no, alas, it wasn’t. At that moment, when all
hands were descending in unison upon that for which
they had starved themselves so long, a bombilation
of twangs and clatters, sibilations and cacophonies,
startled them into a state of paralysis, so that each
of them could only stand and stare at what was tak
ing place. The marvelous table, so ingeniously con
trived, simply relaxed from the great strain very
suddenly, and sent myriads of food filled platters
hurtling through space. All mouths were still ope*
when the last roast duck disappeared into the blue,
because it happened so fast they had not had time to
close them. At one tree, rested a roll of wire with a
few table cloths settling slowly to the earth.
Far be it from our ability to describe the pitiable
sight there. Words aren’t capable of depicting the
poor faint, yammering, sobbing souls that hung upon
one another on that once wonderful pastoral scene.
But suffice it to say here that the food was not en
tirely wasted, for not too far from the tragic event
a young man, who had ever been a sort of Doubting
Thomas, strolled sadly through a neighbor’s field. He
was heavy at heart because his family were not
keepers of the holiday, and, too, because he had
just lateiy become a skeptic. He was so earnest in his
prayers for a sign from heaven so that he might
know the real Truth. Today, however, since every
one else was having a huge feast, he prayed that
the sign from heaven be in the form of food. He
had just arisen, in fact when his prayer was turned
into a reality. Acres and acres and acres of food that
he had never dreamed to be in existance met his
astonished gaze.
Ungrateful, as he must, have been, he prepared
promptly to stuff himself with the viands surround
ing him, without, ever hesitating to thank providence.
Just prior to his first bite, however, a huge bowl
of potato salad, which must have been hurled high
er than the rest, settled upon his pate; Mence, dark
ness also settled upon him.
After his emergence from a long, troublesome
sleep he wandered into a strange land and told of
BY T. PARKER
Wahonowin! Woe are we! O temporal O mores!
Your scribe dons sackcloth and ashes anid prepares
to roll on the ground beating his breast in anguisli!
The inevitable has come to pass. He, the champio'n
of the masses and guardian of the people’s peac'e
of mind, has been acused of the most dire of mis
demeanors—that of writing a column partisan 'to
the place where he resides. South Dorm, or as some
have named it, the low-rent district. This accusation,
sadly enough is entirely true—but hold on! Apologise
we shall not. yie have pleaded with brimming eyes;
caoled, threatened, bribed, cursed, storme«j, and
called down the wrath of the heavens—all to no
, avail—for material for copy from the other dormi
tories. When one asks for information on what goes
. on among other students, the answer one lia's coiitie'.
, to expect is ‘‘Nothin’.” How str9nge that South Dorm
has a monopoly on bright sayings, bull^sessions, and
people who are in the habit of doing “something.” ' ; •
So, dearly beloved, anything which is written in •
these lines this week about any inhabitant of eithek-
North, West, Ladies’ Hall, Club House, Oak Wdgc,
Mopny, • or East dormitories, will be fabricated- of
, very nearly “whole cloth.”
That expert balloon blower and finger manipulator,'
Bob Furr, is puzzled by the latest style in girls’ coats;'
a ful-cut, smock-like outer garment. Bob, with a slyi
chuckle, swears he has been home every week-end
for the past two months, and he says Polly can pi^ove
it. . ; ■ ' ■ ■ ■ . •
We’ve ben told that “Sonny” Shearin, the boy
whose head is the realization of a. Fuller brush man's
nightmare, deserts our our campus quite ofteii for
the greener pastures of Greensboro. Ah, "Sonny,’’ me
lad, have pity cn the many Elon women who dream
nightly of runing their fingers over your bristly pate!
Some of the things we hear seem to come from the
. realm of the impossible. We have heard of double
.dates, triple dates, and even quadruple dates,- but
who will believe that a full dozen people could he
amorous in a Chevrolet club coupe. One could, hai’dly
say that such an arrangement wouldn’t be cozy. If,
after reading this, you should wish to try something
of the sort yourself, you might ask either Lacy Gane,^
Jim Murray, or Jerry Domenick how it is done.
,. There is a legend at Elon that the only man who
h.as,.never been caught without an answer, is your
distinctive head-waiter, Fred Hoffman According to his
^ ever-loving roommate, Fred choffner, however, such
a legend may be discarded. We are told that last'
Sunday night r. Hoffman was caught with his verbals
dowiT(. He was, in no uncertain manner, read the
riot act. ^ Let,, this suffice. If you wish a fuller ex
planation, have discourse with either of the Freds. We;
■, being quite pleased, with our nose as it is, do not
care for a poke in same.
We now take this opportunity to ask Ed Nash if
any fires hkve broken out in his apartment row in
Vet’s Village. Now, don’t get nosy," students, and
try,to find out what this means. This exchange is
strictly between Ed and us.
Someone once said that time and distance are no
deterrent to two hesfrts that beat as one. One Who
find§ this to be. true is Floyd Boyce, who has been
stricken with the dart of Eros from the far city of
Charlotte. Since Floyd has become acquainted with,
the lady of the Queen City, a seething postal cor-
respondeiice has ens^ued. And, as proof of her undy-
ihi' devotion, Floyd has received a photographic
simile of the lass inscribed with the endearment;.
“AWays love you’' (this is not a typographical' error).
The question bh many lips, these days is: “Will
Hank De Simon retain his few marbles for the re
maining few days of the quarter, or will he crack up
before then?” /
••Upon broaching this question to “Monk” Whitsett,
he answered, “I see no hope.”
When asked the same question of some other of
some .other of Ms intimates. Following are some of
the anwers; '
Claude Manzi: “There is a slight chance.”
Charles Nichols: “I suggest a padded cell now.”
Jim Huyett;. “Too far gone.”
Arnold Melvin merely shook his head sadly, tumed
his eyes heavenward, and walked away.
If anyone should foolishly take the foregoing seri
ously, we can only refer him to the latter part of
the title of this column and suggest that he have
recdurse to any accepted dictionary.
Soon comes the day of reckoning. The lamps will
burn into the wee hours, weary eyes will strain o’er
ma^ny a long-forgotten text, and pitiful - shadows of
what were once hail and hearty students will appear
upon the early morning scene, mumbling disconnect
edly of square roots, clavicles, and the relation of
the gerund to the participle. Will these poor souls
remember then their iron-bound resolutions made
on the first' of the school year? Will that vow to
study nightly, in order to ease the pain of exams
be recalled? Of course! And pther oaths of the same,
tenor will be, taken— to what end? Ah, th4 hojpe
that springs eternal! - ' . v '
Good hunting! • ■
BY AMY CAMPBELL _ _
Onee again X tackle the old typewriter and pound
ont a few words for the joy and delight of you ex-
• am^happy stndetits. How well I know that the word
*‘e*atn” is Tertooten these d^s, but leave ns face
it—they are here again. So, whip ont the aspirin,
peek OBt of that fog, and let’s see what cooks.
There iis nothing like a little stale news to pnt aest
. in d eohnnn, so here goes with a little strictly person
al writing. As a great many of yon already, know,
1 .am giving BP his colnran. The reason is pore and
■ simple—^the thesis mast eome first. So, Jackie Gas-
kins has consented to take over for me She has done
this week’s snooping and most of the column is bers.
I’m not going to wish her luck becanse 1 am
that she won’t need it. Hotwever, I do want to wish
j l^r lots «f fan in writing and I want to wish yon
“ , lots of foB In reading.
I may toe sticking in a few words npw amd then,
bat, itt the Meantime, tjbanhs 'for being who yon are.
, It’s all‘yours, Jackie.
, , : _0—
^ ^ ! By JACKIE GASKINS
I often catch Dorothy Jones gazing Ifrom her
window at the squirrels on campus — especially every
.■ at'ternooii around twQ and again at five. All I’ve got
to say is — squirrels sure do look cute coming across
• campus in football uniforms.
The' inrtiates of second floor Ladies Hall
brought fame to their ’ole homestead by defeating the
.other gals on campus in several volleyball entangle
ments. This honor was gi’eatly needed and is deeply
; appreciated for it has been a long time since Ladies’
Hall has had this title. Keep up the good work and
the fine spirit, girls. There are still more games to
' be won.., . ■ • ,
Marjorie 'Moore is sporting a new piece of
1 jewelry this'week. Funny thing about it is that its
on the third linger of her left hand. Wonder what it
could mean? There could be the isbund of wedding
bells in the air. Congratulations, Marjorie Moore and
,, Jimmy’ Marren.
. , 1 believe tht''local netters are justifiably comr
plaining about the. playing condition of the two ten
nis courts .on our, campus. Aside from the fact that
le,aves and, sticks are spread over both courts, the
nets are seldom up and boundai^ lines are indisting-
. uishable- Being , an eager novice at the game, I find
it quite discouraging to find this condition prevail
ing on ^ a sunny, afternoon when playing weather is
ideal. One perswi may or may not be held respon-
, sible for. the.upkeep of the courts. If someone IS held
respoiiKible,' he is inexcusably falling down on the
job; if not,. I believe an appointment of a reliable
person is not only necessary, but is rightfully due
'the 'many student? who desire to participate in the
game.
There are quite a few stars in Miss Wicker’s
1:90 gym • class. Carolyn Thompson really blossomed
out the other day in full force — cheering squad
and all. Jean Abell also shows promisings of being
■ a talented player — all she needs is a little tip as to
which team’ she’s playing for, .
WHAT IS IT??
After having stood for three hours on a cold
• canipXis with her one and only, she comes in the
■ florin and complains about no heat in the room. Has
tht!'college installed heating units in the trees? Have
the squirrels started building fireS at night? You figure
it out! I’m no sxiuealer.
—o
JbdtJbM h) HtG suUioAA
his expei^ilce. The good .natives were syinpathetic
and confined'' him to the nearest, home for the ment
ally ill. There ■s one other who knows the truth about
this mater, but he dare not tell for fear of a similar
consequence.
The author has forgotten what the moral of this
story was suposed to be.
Ladies’ Hall
Elon College, N. C.
November 3, 1947
To ithe Editw" ,
Never let it be said that a woman let a man
have the last word! ,I would like to take this oppor
tunity to reply. to the remarks made by Mr. Phil
Gearing in the last issue of the Maroon and Gold
'rhe“neede!d intestinal fortitude” that Mr. Gear
ing'and some of th^ other students perhaps are look
ing for in T’Ain’t Necessarily So, will never appear
beneath my signature. You see,. Mr. Gearing, there
are two types of intestinal fortitude: the type which
enables you to say ,or write what you wish regardless
of tJie. fqeMngs of .others, and the type which enables
you to keep youi* mouth shut and not to spread .rumors
and idle gossip. I do not have enoUgh'of the .former
, to write the back-fenpe, gossip column that you, seem
to' want tq-rea'd. , . - - • '
In, pase r have misinterpreted' your letter, Mr.
Gearing,, I .woul^ like to invite you to write two col-
umhs, as a. gu^t columnist for the Maroon and Gold.
Write them as. you want, them fo be written. Then,
Mr. Gening,, if you have put plenty of meat with
the potatoes, I will accept' your criticism humbly.
Good luck to youv
Amy Campbell
was at least a reliable inode -«f 4ransportat»«D, even
if the driver did often go astrayv
I don’t mind doors slamming, loud whistUs^
stamping of size sixteen shoes in the hall, ^ fifteen
round boxing match also in the hall for thc^ champ
ionship of East dorm, or even the gurgle and splash
ing of water as' abulutions are completed, for all of
this indicates life and where there is life there is
hope. 1 do object, however, to a one man -censor oi
uicoming telephone calls, which menace to ' society
obviously has but a two plu-ase vocabulary; "Hello”,
and "I don’t know where he Is now.” ,
With this bit of enlightening informatioh the
person making the call imagines he sees a jot of
hope, and proceeds to give full instructions as to-
who is calling, what operator to have the called for
to call, etcetera. All of the information is written
down by the intelligent menace. He might, quite nat
urally, write the notes on his shirttail and after stuf
fing it back where it belongs forget about it, or on
a piece of paper if within reiach, and that is placed
in the most-conspicuous place — the floor!
My specific gripes are these: Last year I was
called in West dorm on the Tuesday preceding tlig
Duke - Carolina game. Sunday, before church, some
.1
perso* rushed up to me witb a slip of paper and
informed me that I should call immediately. Being
the obedient type, I called only to find that I hai?
tickets to the game played the day before.
Recently a similar call was made on a Thurs
day. No one informed me of the fact, nor did they
bother to take a message. (Jn the following Sunday
I received a letter advising that certain of my
most intimate friends, from home in New Jersey ha|.
journeyed through this area and had tried to contact
me, but to no avalL
I do not expect excellent telephone service iia
this generation, nor telephone booths in the next»
Do I have a basis for complaint?
However, I do feel that some provision should hr
made to alter this deplorable situation. May I make
the following recommendations:
Provide a bulletin board in East dorm where-
all phone calls can be posted. Have all phone call*
from outside come through the same installation with
a student posted there and made responsible for the
posting of calls. That a courier service be established ^
between all dormitories, or field phones installed'
to connect them.
Before the cry of “where is the money coming
from” Is made let us estimate the cost for a change.
Humbly,
Frederick John Hoffman
Maroon and Gold
the auspices of the Board of PubHcatlon.
Entered as second class matter at the Post Of-
N. c„ undef the act of March
by maU, $1.50 the college year,
?.50 the quarter.
EDITORIAL BOARD
Editor - in - ^ief Watsou
Managing Editor Hal McDiarmid
Sports Editor Ed Mulford
Assistant Sports Editor rocco Sileo
Drama and Music Critic Moss
Clubs and Fraternities Lewis Lawerenee-
Allene Stallings
Day StHdent Editor Max Storey
Librarian Womble
BUSINESS BOARD
Business Manager Evelyn Moore
Circulation Mlanager Dorothy Dowd
Ass t Circulation Manager Martha Veazey
- V- R. L. Dunlap
Photogra^jher ; ^111 Duncsn
Printer jjarkey
Press Man _____
COLUMNIST
Ted Parker, Amy Campbell, Betty Benton, Betty HiU
ri^orters •
Ed Nash, Ruth Lee, Herbert Spivey, Phil Gearing,
Meir Gabbay, Mable Lassiter, James Mauti, John
, Giltiam
-A-—
COPYREABERS
Elinor Argenbright, Jane Whitlock, Doris BlackweU
Dear Editor;
The archaic telephone system on display at Elon
should be supplanted by the Pony Express. The pony
MPnSMMmo FOR NATIONAL ADVMTISIN4 •>
NatiMial Adrertisiiig Service, Inc.
^ CMege PuUisiers Rtpiesenutive
420 Madison Ave. New York. N. Y.
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