The Pendulum
Opinions
Thursday, September 11, 2003 Page 3
Welcome to Elon’s version of ‘Dear Abby.’ This weekly column will entertain you
with questions from the minds of actual Phoenix students. Do not fear the subject
matter of the questions.
THE GURU
"Dear Guru — Why do men and women play
games with each other in relationships?"
-Unwanted Player
Player-
Since ours days of Shoots and Ladders
and Checkers, we are taught to play
games. It is ingrained into our very
beings as soon as we are old enough to
utter the words “checkmate.” If you real
ly think about it, life is kind of like one
big game of, well. Life.
There are millions of reasons people
play games both in relationships and on a
game board. There is the thrill, the chal
lenge and the hope that one is good
enough to win. No one wants to be a
loser, even at Tic Tac Toe.
The little games that we were all
brought up on have become the very
actions that we inherently perform in our
daily lives. Like Poker, people hold their
heart, I mean “cards,” close to their
chests, never allowing the others to know
what their hand really is. And the calling
game. Think about it, it’s really just a per
verse grown up game of hide and seek.
Can you find me? Will you call me?
We are perpetually that little child hid
ing underneath the kitchen table wonder
ing if someone will discover our brilliant
hiding spot and make us “it.” And no one
wants to be “it,” because once you are,
you are alone.
People play games to defend them
selves, to protect their feelings and to
make sure they are the ones that come out
on top. As the saying goes, “the best
offense is a good defense.” But in my
opinion, if your defense is too good then
no one gets to score.
Why do girls pretend to be unavail
able? Why don’t men call? These are all
games. Relationships are games, life is a
huge game. People are continuously
switching sides, making alliances and
breaking them. Just like in Monopoly,
everyone wants to be the one with Park
Avenue.
The problem is that there is only one
Park Avenue, and people must understand
that you can be happy without the most
sought after space. After all, if you spend
all your money on one thing, then there is
nothing left for anything else.
When one is playing a relationship
game, the whole issue behind it is power.
Power over the other person involved. If he
calls me in two days I will go out with him,
but if it is three then he has to wait.
Everyone has this hope that the other per
son will play their game and succeed.
No one is perfect. And some people are
just really bad at games (like me and
Twister . . . don’t ask.) It is unfair to put
pressure on the relationship and on each
other, hoping that in some way the games
will all woric. That you will be the one to
yell, “checkmate.” But my question is,
what happens when the other person yells,
“checkmate” and it’s about your heart?
Every game is started with an underly
ing sensation of fear of the unknown. No
one wants to gamble their heart away, so
it’s easier to play games with the other per
son’s feelings than their own. Sometimes
the roles become reversed, and the player
becomes the playee. By this point, the web
of game rules and falsehoods is so tangled
that even a skilled Jenga player would get
stuck.
In the end, it is really all about winning.
The games people play are all set up in
hopes that life will end up like Bingo. One
big moment when you can stand up on your
chair and yell, “I won! I won!”
But besides those hundreds of little old
Grannies out there, who really plays
Bingo?
Send a question to
the ‘GURU’ at
elonguru@
yahoo.com
Student site getting iaugiis
Eric Hydrick
Columnist
Last year, a group of Elon students
put up a Web site that expressed various
aspects of the school, namely the funny
little things many students notice but
never write down. The link was posted in
aol instant messenger away messages
and spread like wildfire all over campus.
A few people complained and said that
the site should be taken down. Many
others, including several alumni, said it
was funny and encouraged additions to
the list. This site started with 50 reasons
for knowing you go to Elon. As of Sept.
3, there were 114.
The site itself is hilarious, provided
you go to Elon. If you don’t go to Elon
or didn’t graduate from Elon, you’d
never get it. It provides a blunt look at
the idiosyncrasies and ironies involved
in the daily grind at Elon.
Several of the reasons refer to exces
sive drinking and drunkenness, but that’s
nothing new. College jokes frequently
involve alcohol and at the beginning of
last year, Elon had moved up in the
Princeton review rankings of the “Best
345 Colleges” regarding alcohol con
sumption and partying.
Elon ranked sixth for “lots of hard
liquor” and second for “major frat and
sorority scenes.”
Other reasons are no more than com
mon knowledge, not designed so much
to laugh that it happens, but to make you
laugh at how often it happens. For exam
ple, reason 25 reads “You say hi to at
least 5 people on the way to class each
day.” Elon has always been a friendly
place and it’s funny to think of just how
often we do greet people on a daily basis.
Of course, the fact that the site is prac
tically all Elon insider jokes is what
makes it so great. No one else can take
the jokes and apply them to their college.
They are ours and ours alone. We may
not have written them, but they are
unique to our lives, and us and that is
what defines the Elon experience. It’s not
the classes, the parties or the work. It’s
the people, what they did and what life
was like while you were here. Almost all
reasons listed are timeless. They were
true years ago and they’ll be true in years
to come - and we’ll still laugh about
them. The site is also updated to keep up
with major occurrences at campus, the
last one being Aug. 23, talking about the
network shutting down because the fresh
men swamped it with viruses and worms.
Overall, the “You Know You Go To
Elon If’ site is definitely worth a read if
you haven’t already seen it. However,
make sure you’ve lived on campus for a
few months first, so you have time to
hear a lot of the “insider information” on
the school and notice many of these
things for yourself. If you read it right
after moving in, you won’t get the full
effect and you’ll miss out on much of the
humor. It was written in good fun to get a
laugh out of the students and you should
read it as such.
If any of your friends want to know
what you do here or what it’s like at Elon,
it’s a good reference. Plus, it’s another
excuse for you to read that list again.
The site can be found at
http://www.geocities.com/gotoelonif/
Contact Eric Hydrick at
pendulum@eIon.edu or 278-7247.
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