From the Editor
Are you really listening when you
listen? Working as a peer-counselor has
made it necessary for me to learn the art
of active listening. My style has always
been the "Dear Abby type”, having
advice for everyone.
Advice, however, is not what people
are really looking for when they need to
talk. They are really only looking for a
safe person in which they can vent their
feelings. Once they have their feelings
acknowledged, they are able to make
their own decisions. In other words, all
that people really need is for some one
to care enough to listen — to really
listen, without judgements or advice.
Now that really sounds simple, but
giving advice and opinions comes so eas
ily that just listening really is difficult!
My tongue has been bitten nearly in
half, as I have exercised my listening
skills. But, through practice and the
skillful teachings of the "pro” listener,
Cassandra Lanier, I am finally learning
to listen. The following poem Cas
sandra used to help me understand
active listening. Now, I would like to
share it with our readers.
When I Ask You To Listen
When 1 ask you to listen to me and
you start giving advice, you have not
done what 1 asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and
you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel
that way, you are trampling on my
feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and
you feel you have to do something to
solve my problem, you have failed me,
strange as that may seem.
Listen! All 1 asked was that you listen,
not talk or do — just hear me.
Advice is cheap: 25 cents will get you
both Dear Abby and Billy Graham in
the same newspaper.
And I can do for myself. I’m not help
less. Maybe discouraged and faltering,
but not helpless.
When you do something for me that 1
can and need to do for myself, you con
tribute to my fear and inadequacy.
But when you accept as a simple fact
that I do feel what I feel, no matter how
irrational, then I can quit trying to con
vince you and can get to the business of
understanding what’s behind this irra
tional feeling.
And when that’s clear, the answers
are obvious and I don’t need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when
we understand what’s behind them.
Perhaps that’s why prayer works,
sometimes, for some people — because
God is mute, and doesn’t give advice or
try to fix things. You have to work it out
for yourself.
So please listen and just hear me.
And, if you want to talk, wait a minute
for your turn, and I’ll listen to you.
Ralph Roughton, M.D.
Active listening is a gift that you can
share in all your relationships. If you
choose to add this talent to your educa
tion, it will carry you a long way in your
career, as well as, in your personal life.
For more information, the text used in
Eng. 200, Communicoting Effectively by
Sandra Hybells and Richard Weaver II
has an excellent chapter on listening.
Please remember that everyone likes
to talk and they view people that listen
as special people. After all, "Talking is
sharing, but listening is caring”!
Sayonara
Born April 29, 1901, Emperor Hiro-
hito of Japan became the world’s longest
ruling monarch. He ascended the Chry
santhemum throne in 1926 and pre
sided there through WWII, Japan’s sur
render, and the incredible postwar eco
nomic recovery.
After the way, Hirohito became a
"symbol of state” under the new consti
tution and government. He was then
able to devote himself to his real pas
sion: marine biology, in which field he
was a recognized authority. He died Jan
uary 7, 1989 at 88.
Come Join
the BSU
Just what is the BSU? It is the Baptist
Student Union. The club meets every
second and fourth Thursday of the
month. During these meetings we have
prayer and Bible study. We would like
to encourage all students, of any denom
ination to come join us in fellowship.
During our first meeting, the follow
ing officers were elected: President -
Roger Rikard, Vice President - Louise
MuUis, Secretary - Michael Lyles, Treasurer-
Melissa Tedder, and Co-reporters -
Trena Lambert and Beth Jones.
Plans are now underway to send a
group to the BSU Spring Conference in
Asheboro, April 5-7.
A special meeting will be called on
April 4. At this meeting we will have a
guest speaker, Joe David Fore. Rev.
Fore is the campus minister at UNC
Asheville. We hope to have a large gath
ering to hear Rev. Fore speak.
— Louise Mullis &. Beth Jones
Phi Theta Kappa
Raises Funds
For Cami
Phi Theta Kappa helda Half-the-Pot
drawing on March 11. We raised $400,
giving the winner $200 in cash. We
were also supported by the camera club
and SGA. SGA donated funds to send
Roger Rikard, our new Carolina’s
Regional President, to Chicago from
March 13 to March 17. The Camera
Club donated money from their photo
sales. Roger plans to campaign for the
National Office of Southern Vice-Pres
ident in Chicago. Members of PTK have
given strong support and helped the
club during our fundraisers. We would
like to thank everyone who had a part in
helping us with our fundraisers, either
by donations, or by donating to the
Half-the-Pot sales.
—Michael W. Lyles
President, Alpha Kappa Omega
Phi Theta Kappa
Picture Sale
The Camera Club held a picture sale
in the Student Commons the week of
March 4th - 8th. The purpose was to
split the profits with Phi Theta Kappa to
help in supporting Roger Rikard with
the transportation cost to Chicago, Illi
nois. Roger was elected Regional Phi
Theta Kappa President, and ran for the
National Vice-Presidency in Chicago.
The Camera Club raised about $40 at
the sale. We sold pictures in various
sizes, slides, and spare yearbook photo
graphs. The best selling item was the
hodge podge of yearbook photographs.
Other sales like this will be set up
throughout the rest of the quarter. The
money will be used to help the club
travel to other locations for photogra
phic opportunities.
As always, we wish to invite anyone
to join or visit at one of our meetings.
—Dian Marcum
Single Parents
Need Support
Single parents have special challenges
to face. Two parent families have the
advantage of the other spouse’s sup
port. However, single parents have to
face the burdens of childrearing, house
hold maintenance, and earning a living
alone.
Student Support Services realizes just
what a challenge single parents face. So
to address these needs we would like to
organize a group of single parents that
can offer support to each other. These
meetings will give our single parent stu
dents a confidential place to share their
frustrations and successes. Meetings
will be held on Tuesdays at 12:00 noon
in room #1010. If you would like to
attend, but this is an inconvenient time
for you, please call 651-8754.
— Sherry Miller
Educational
Loans Available
Three educational loan programs for
North Carolina residents attending col
leges in or out of state and for nonresi
dents attending colleges in North Caro
lina are available through College Foun
dation, Inc. These loan programs are
funded by North Carolina banks and
other investors.
Stafford Loans are for dependent or
independent students and are based on
financial need. Supplemental Loans are
for independent self-supporting stu
dents and are not based on financial
need. PLUS Loans are for parents of
dependent students and are not based
on financial need.
For more information, write College
Foundation, Inc., 2100 Yonkers Road,
P.O. Box 12100, Raleigh, NC 7605-
2100, or call 919/821-4771/
Minority
Support Group
The Minority Support Group met
Tuesday, March 12th. A committee to
re-organize the Ebony Club was set up.
Stan Chambers and Steve Bailey were
elected to serve as Co-Chairmen. Any
one interested in becoming a member of
this organization should get in touch
with either of these young men or Linda
Carlton. Other meetings will be held in
the future, information on time and
place will be posted on bulletin boards
around the school.
— Linda Carlton
Spring Sprung
on March 20
Bingo! It is spring again.
Nothing new about spring. It comes
around every year about this time.
And yet, like the beginning of a bright
sunny day, it becomes new.
New things seem to happen and each
person has his/her own happening. To
some, it means a complete new war
drobe. To some, it means nature is green
again and soon to flower. To others, it
means the start of baseball season. To
yet others, it means no more heavy coats
with all the bundling up for the outside
and unbundling for the inside.
Yes, it’s spring again. Nothing new,
but feel how it always becomes new.
Enjoy. For a new spring gives each
person in love with life that glorious
touch of magic.
A Year-Round
Emotion
The celebration of love is one of the
main focuses for the month of February
in America. It is the time of year when
one special day is set aside as a day to
give declaration of one’s love. We find
ourselves showering that "significant
other” and those "sf)ecial people” in
our lives with cards, flowers, candies, or
other gifts. This custom definitely has
it’s rewards.
Let us remember that love is not just a
one day a year thing — it’s a year-round
emotion! Love has a conscience, and it
breeds motivation. It’s through love
that we have respect and consideration
for our fellow human beings. Although
love may start out as a personal thing, it
ends up being social. It becomes social
because of the way it affects us and the
way we deal with the society around us.
Let us not take love so lightly. Let us try
to be able to greet life each day with the
attitude "I love you”.
— Linda Carlton
A Fool is a Fool Is a Fool
In honor of April Fool’s Day, can you finish these famous fool-ish
expressions? (Choices listed below.)
1. Abraham Lincoln said, “You can’t fool all of the people
2, John Lyly noted, “There is no fool like
3. “Fools rush in where
proclaimed Alexander Pope.
4. Shakespeare observed, “Lord, what fools these
5. Mark Twain said, “Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them
the rest of us could not ’’
6. “The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are _
stated Winston Churchill.
7. An English proverb records that “A fool and his money
8. Emerson wrote, “A foolish consistency is
9. The book of Proverbs suggested, “Answer a fool according
to ’’
10. “The foolishness of yesterday has become ,’’
noted Sir William Osier.
11. Robert Louis Stevenson said, “It is better to be a fool than to
be ”
12.
it needs a
woman to
manage a fool,” observed Rudyard Kipling,
13. Said Robert Burton, “Penny wise,
14. “ keeps a dear school," observed
Benjamin Franklin, “but fools will learn in no other.’
15. Joyce Kilmer wrote, “
foolish.”
are made by
fools like me, but only God can make a tree.”
16. “I really think the greatest fool ”
said Nicholas Boileau-Despreaux.
17. Jonathan Swift noted, “Lord! I wonder what fool it was that
18. “He who thinks 0 heavens!
is a great fool,” wrote Voltaire.
Choices: all the time / an old fool / angels fear to tread / are soon
parted / dead / experience / first invented kissing / himself wise /
his folly / is man / mortals be / poems / pound / right sometimes
/ succeed / the hobgoblin of little minds / the wisdom of tomorrow
/ very clever
SAY WHAT?
This FILL-IN spells out a famous quote plus its famous author. To
find it, drop the letters from each column into the diagram beneath,
always in the same column (but usually in different order). Begin
with the obvious; find the short words first.
D
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Answer: SAY WHAT?
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Answers: A Fool is a Fool is a Fool
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•spuiui apjij JO UTjqoSqoij aip — g "pajjBd uoos 3JB — l
•S3U1U3UIOS Ji{8u — 9 'paaDDHS — g ‘aq S|BUOui —
•peajj oj JB3J spSuB — £ 'looj pjo ub — 1 -auin aqj ijb — ^
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FOR THE NEWSPAPER
Sherry Miller
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BUSINESS,
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Join the Staff
Letters to the editors are welcomed. Address to: Editors, Cougar Cry,
W.C.C. Wilkesboro, N.C. 28697. Copy deadline 9th of the month.