THE LITERARY PAGE
THE PAGE ITSELF
Ir. searching foi a fitting literary
quotation with which to introduce
ourself. nothing comes to mind but
the title of Dickens' first chapter
in David Copperfield, '"I am born."
This nascent state is pleasant in the
possibilities it affords for develop
ment, but it also harbors anxieties
and apprehensions. We are not yet
sure of our existence. Now if the stud
ent body will adopt us, and care for
us, and feed us—but that is an
other matter.
The christening has not yet taken
place. And as it bothers us to be
left in the cruel world without a
name, we beg your co-operation in
helping us to select a suitable ap
pellation.
In other words, in addition to con
tributing something to the page as of
ten as possible, the students are
asked to send in suggestions for a
title at the top of the page. The
name should be in length some
thing near the title used in this
issue, which by the way is a clas
sification and not a name. Send in
all the ideas you possess bearing
upon the subject, and the page will
be duly christened at the next
issue.
MENU
'Tis not our purpose to stuff the
readers with too heavy meats;
neither do we favor rich desserts
and pastries. A cocktail which we
recommend for its lightness, and
flavor, two substantial meats, a
salad a la O. Henry, a Longfellow
relish, and the usual quip dessert,
make up what we flatter ourselves
into believing is a well balanced
luncheon, even for the literati.
All good cocktails have a habit
of sending you to the fruit stand
to ascertain what the chef drew
from. e do not wish that the
polish should be worn off the
"Bookman," but would like to s?e
it under general inspection. The
writer of this article evidently had
a purpose in his variation of the
word "Parisian." We meant to
ask the class in Shakespear abo r
it, but forgot it.
We sincerely appreciate Dr. Carle-
ton's contribution on Athletics; and
from his account of the physical in
officiencv of the Hindoos, realize
his concern for the maintenance
of Athletics in the schools. The
discussion of social values in
the college organizations is timely,
and presents something for further
study among the students, particu
larly those who have recently been
added to our ranks.
"Classics in Translation of cours?
refers to the fact that they were once
in freshman theme language, and
has no significance to the 0. Henry
relationship. Tis a remarkable
salad and well dressed. But are
there colonial mansions in gay
cities?
With all apologies to everyone
concerned, mainly to the reader,
the relish from Longfellow is of
fered. We wonder why the writer
did not use a "Hun, Two, 'Ree,
Four" rhythm instead of the quiet
hexameter.
The dessert is made up of every
thing. but then the Quips are a
hashed family. Q. jr. has mule ears
and a tail.
Send Contributions to Edward M. Holder
I MAGAZINE SHELF 1
J.
THE BOOKMAN
Listen, my children, and you shall
hear, that the October issue of "The
Bookman" has arrived. This state
ment is not news. The issue has
been on the library shelf for two
whole weeks. Just think, two week*
of pleasure lost. That is, if you
have not read '"The Bookman." That
means that you are two weeks be
hind, and it will take you one year
and seven days to catch up. No.
my children, I'm not talking about
the two thousand pages of "Far
risian" back ground reading, but
two weeks of pleasure in which
you are behind.
I bet you don't know what book
is being the most read in America.
"Black Oxen," by Gertrude Atherton,
says "The Bookman" over there in
that section listing the ten most
read books in America, called the
"Bookman's Monthly Score." Ger
trude Atherton, you will remember
won great fame by her novel
"Glimpses of the Moon" and has
again blazed forth in a new book
called "A Son at the Front." It
is noticeable that the "Sheik" is
no longer listed. No fault of "The
Bookman" of course, but the
"Sheik's" fault.
All you aspiring freshmen who
worried so nobly over that first
freshman theme, pay attention. It's
a hard life, isn't it? William McFee
says so, in the opening article of the
magazine, dealing with questions
confronting would-be and will-be
writers of the present and future.
You members of the Shakesperean
class. There's three pages of back
ground reading for you in satirical
parody on "Hamlet' by Floyd Dell.
Mr. Dell is quite human you'll
admit when 1 tell you that he
makes Hamlet, in the famous third
soliloquy, say, "To drink coffee with
cream or without cream, That is the
question. Whether it is better to
drink black coffee and remain awake
or drink coffee with cream and
sleep. To sleep, perchance to
dream, etc." Or something to that
effect. As a matter of information,
Mr. Dell's Ophelia has bobbed hair
and reads Freud.
Also there is a most entertaining
article in the magazine written by a
blurb writer. Don't ask me what a
blurb writer is. I don't know. Neither
did the author explain. But then
the article is so interesting that one
does not wonder what a blurb
writer is anyhow. It doesn't matter
at all. Wasn't it Voltaire that said,
"The art of boring a reader is to
tell him everything"? Probably Mr.
Blurb writer was a student of Vol
taire. He knows how to write in
terestingly, for a' that.
Oh! ves, over there near the back,
mixed in among a goodly number
of gossipy character sketches, in
terviews, and quite modern poems,
there is a digest of the best movies,
the most interesting plays, and the
most exciting musical comedies.
The "Bookman" doesn't lack variety,
don't worry.
It's quite modern, too. Note the
abundance of unintelligible poetry.
The whole moral of this article
is, read the "Bookman."
THE GUILFORDIAN
ATHLETIC VALUES
In some of the eastern colleges I
learn that athletics have depreciated
very much, and in some cases are
altogether or in part forbidden by
the institution.
I beg leave to object to such a
course. Athletics should not be
curtailed in the least, but on the
other hand should (receive more
attention, so that every student,
girl or boy, should engage in some
form of athletics.
In the first place, participation
in athletic sports teaches a person to
think quickly and act quickly as
nothin else does, and thereby trains
one for leadership in the various
departments of government, and in
every walk of life. Leaders are
what this nation needs.
Secondly, in the late world war
the American troops went in late
and won the victory. On every side
people noticed the pep, and stamina,
and capacity for leadership in the
American soldiers. Since the war
several nations are greatly encoura
ging their young men in schools
and colleges to engage in all
of sports. These nations saw what
athletics and sports did for the
American young men. From child
hood all are encouraged to engage
in physical activities.
For nearly fortv years I have
JOSEPH HENRY
1797-1878
Born a*. Albany, N. Y., where
he became teacher of mathe
matics and physics in Albany
Academy. Leading American
physicist of his time. First
director of the Smithsonian
Institution.
The work that was begun
by pioneers like Joseph
Henry is being carried on
by the scientists in the Re
search Laboratories of the
General Electric Company.
Theyare constantlysearch
ing for fundamental prin
ciples in order that electric
ity may be of greater
service to mankind.
GENERAL ELECTRIC
lived in India as a doctor. There
I was also superintendent of schools
in the district in which I lived. The
people are very deficient in physical
well-being, and the government is
greatlv pleased to see the schools
and colleges encouraging atletic
activities. The government gives
a generous grant-in-aid to any school
or college that will encourage athle
tics.
Hindoos often attend the fool
ball games between Scotchmen and
Welshmen, or Irishmen, and I have
heard them remark that they canno'
understand why the players exert
themselves so greatly.
—M. B. Carleton, M. I).
"Read, Learn, and Inwardly
Digest"
This is the campus upheaval: the
murderous sophs in their night
frocks,
Bearded and masked with red paint
and green, in the still of the
midnight
Stand like broods of hell, with vices
bad and chaotic;
Stand like forty-fours, their aim
resting on the freshmen.
Loud from the Cox hall tavern, the
deep noise of beds set in motion,
Creaks, and an axe sent through
locked doors, are answered by
wails from the freshmen.
—H. J. J.
A man is reliev-d and gay when
he has put his heart into his work
and done his best; but what he has
said or done otherwise will give
him no peace.
When Henry
rang the bell
If any bell was ever heard around the
world, Joseph Henry rang it in his
famous experiment at the Albany
Academy. The amazing development
of the electrical industry traces back
to this schoolmaster's coil of insulated
wire and his electro-magnet that lifted
a ton of iron.
Four years later when Morse used
Henry's electro-magnet to invent the
telegraph, Henry congratulated him
warmly and unselfishly.
The principle of Henry's coil of wire is
utilized by the General Electric Com
pany in motors and generators that
light cities, drive railroad trains, do
away with household drudgery and
perform the work of millions of men.
QUAKER QUIPS
After a series of psychological
introspections it has been decided
that the Quip mania for hash
discussions is a result of poetic
temperament rather than a tendency
toward culinary criticism.
# * *
Hash!
Thou federated smash
Of Southern rice and Northern
succotash,
Thou ground where Boston beans
and California squash,
In vulgar tongue, thou art the chef's
moustache.
M v rime is rash. O, bosh!
* *
The latest dance is the skeleton
rattle. It was introduced by Messes.
T. B. Germ and Amos Quito. Can
you beat it, King Tut?
* # *
Members of the biology I. class
are becoming much enthused over
observing the growth of trees. During
a recent investigation into the be
havior of oaks, a student of house
planning inquired in what locality
the quartersawed variety grew.
# * *
No, girls, the Sweet Gum is not
a product of Wrigleys.
* ♦ *
Th Quip family now has a per
manent home in the new annex to
the Guilfordian, and as soon as the
apartment has a name on the front
to guide Mr. Quip's footsteps at
night, the family will be perfectly
contented.
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