Newspapers / The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.) / Oct. 3, 1923, edition 1 / Page 4
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Page Four CLASSICS IN TRANSLATION Lest I forget to tell you while re lating this tragic episode in the life of Mr. and Mrs. Hound Dog and and all the little Hound Dogs, 1 will tell you now that the moral of this story is: Always see what your wife buys you for a Christmas present. I also offer all due apolo gies to 0. Henry. Dramatis personae. Mrs. Dog. Mr. Dog. Cecelia Dog. Time—Christmas Eve. Place—Drawing room of a dog house in the back yard of a colo nial mansion. Says Mr. Dog. to Mrs. Dog. "Just think, my dear, to morrow is Christmas day and I do not have one cent with which to buy a Christ mas present." Says Mrs. Dog to Mr. Dog, "Never mind, my dear, I don't want a Christmas present, so if you won't give me one I won't give you one." "All right, just as you say," answered agreeable Mr. Dog. And so the discussion ended. Now, although Mrs. Dog said she did not want a present, she would very much have appreciated a diamond to replace a lost one in her ring. The ring had once had two diamonds in it but one came out and rolled down the heat register, just as diamonds have a habit of doing. Mrs. Dog worshipped and bossed her husband, and she loved and cherished this ring. To replace the lost diamond had been the one ambition of her life. She laid away a bon? every day toward it's re placement. And just as badly as Mrs. Dog wanted that diamond, Mr. Dog wanted to give it to her. He had intended to give it to her this Christmas but—Oh! well, he de cided he would anyhow. So he went through his list of possessions to see what would sell well. He had three bones, a collar and chain, a pair of automatic flea catchers and a lovely silver braided cap. Oh! how beautiful this cap was, with its sparkling silver braid, shiny buttons, and its one golden tassel. It is true the cap needed two tassels to be perfect. He and his wife had often discussed the purchase of a new one, but everytime they would get a little money ahead something would happen. First, Reginald, his oldest and handsomest son, had tried to tickle Miss Yvonne Cat's ear and she had scratched his face. Doctor's bills are terrible! Then Cecelia, his daughter, tried to learn to King Tut in a pair of french heels and fell down the steps. Giddy youth that she was! Mr. Don: sighed deeply over the thought cf these things and medi tated over the expenses of raising a family in this age of fords and theatres. "It happens in the best regulated families," mused Mr. Dog as he squared his shoulders, "hut this is not buying my wife that dia mond." So he took his adored cap and sold it and with the money bought a beautiful diamond for his wife. Such a beautiful diamond, too, all clear and sparkly. In anticipation of the pleasure it would give his wife, he stopped in a drug store and set himself up to a dope and a dog biscuit. On reaching home, he went im mediately to his wife. With much wagging of the tail and flopping of the ears, he gaily presented the box containing the diamond to his wife. Her paws trembled as she removed the cover. When she saw the diamond lying there in the box and had fully realized the meaning of it she up and fainted. Mr. Dog yelled for Cecilia and Cecelia came running with a bottle of Monsieur Kerkoff's "une vertiable tri'mphe"' Djer Kiss toilet water. Pretty soon Mrs. Dog came around and as she looked up at her husband she chok ingly murmured. "I have sold my ring." Mr. Dog's mouth dropped open and his teeth jangled loosely. "Sold your ring! Why did you sell your ring," he cried. "To buy you a tassel for your silver braided cap," she said. Mr. Dog then proceeded to faint and only by administering a large amount of the cause for the eigh teenth amendment discussion was he revived. Say, don't forget the moral. —H. P. '25. Borrowed Briefs Did you ever notice that every boy wants to build a boat? * * * All modern girls appear to be the daughters of millionaries. Jf. i|c 2{s Mental telepathy phenomena: Ever notice how some people brace up after you've decided to fire 'em. * * * Elect a pessimist to the treasurer's job. # ♦ A machine running is worth two standing idle. * * ■ The fiction of yesterday is the fact of today. * * * What you are tomorrow depends on what you think and do today. * * * The "red, white and blue" is the banner line of quality for all the world. * * * Reformers make slow progress because they try to reform things instead of people. * * * Next to a politician's promise no thing is so worthless as a theater ticket for yesterday's show. When a rich man attributes his success to hard work and thrift, no one except other rich men believe him. * * * It may pass for a maxim in state that the administration cannot be placed in too few hands, nor the legislature in too many.— Cicero. * * # In this land of plenty we die of overeating, and call it starvation. — Ed Howe. * # * Everything considered, including ourselves, none of us have a very hard time of it. * * * Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as though she had laid an asteroid-. Mark Tuain. * * * Don't expose your weaknesses. * * * It cost less to "keep well" than it does to "get well." * # * Everything has its place, but that doesn't relieve the man with a boil l, Jo THE GUILFORDIAN "THE BEST POLICY" We often hear it said that "Honesty is the best policy," and we pass it by without dispute. But did you know that it is one of the most difficut tilings to do, to be honest? Readers of the Guilfordian, the thing that I am going to drive home to you, whether you are students, or profession,l or business men, is this: Honesty does not mean simply not to tell a lie: it means giving yourself the advantage of the best things in life, being honest to your self. Students, are you lining your selves up with the various activitie? on the campus? Are you giving tIK C. E. your fullhearted spiritual Support? Have you allied yoursell with one of the literary societies? In general, have you entered into the fraternal fellowship which exists 011 the Guilford campus, or are you holding yourself apart? If you are doing the latter you are not being honest to yourself. Because in all the activities and fraternal organi zations there is something to be 1 obtained which you cannot get from books alone or from any college course. It is Christian personality. If you are denying yourself any of these advantages of coming in con i tact with other Christian person alities you are not only dishonest to yourself, but you are denying the other fellow the good that he might get from you. I mean for all the readers of the Guilfordian to apply this to your own surroundings in your com munity, and see whether or not you are honest. I said at the outses that it is difficult to be honest. It is, for honesty requires much of one. It demands that on the football field your fight and fight hard, but it means also that the fight you put up must be 011 the square. The man opposite you demands a square deal. You owe it to him. you owe it to yourself. Then, when you walk off the field you can say with a clear conscience, "I have fought a clean fight." Fellow students, when you walk into the class room, whether for daily recitation, quiz, or exam, the teacher demands that you be honest to yourself. Then honesty to the teacher is assured. Why do I make this appeal? From experience of two years at Guilford I have discovered that there is much to be learned that I had never dreamed of; that there is much to be had that does not come from books. All of these things are to be attained by strict policy of honesty. Let it be said of those who love our Alma Mater, wherever they go, that they are honest to themselves, to their college, and to their fellow men. —B. Russell Branson '25. Don't rely on good luck. • * * Everybody needs to be checked up. * Sometimes any decision is better than no decision. # * * The right man can make a good job out of any job. # * * Once an automobile owner, always an automobile owner. * Some people can't take anything unless they take it seriously. * a *■ Some men will fight harder to keep a soft job than they will to get a good job. TRY US THIS FALL FOR THAT SUIT & OVERCOAT STYLE QUALITY PRICE IT PAYS TO -FOLLOW THE ARROW" 3^a3Bßana^>- Winston-Salem, N. C. RENT A NEW FORD—DRIVE IT YOURSELF U-DRIVE-IT CO. Green & Washington Sts. Phone 3653 "Sacred Cows" Mr. Charles O'Connor says that the modern business institution shel ters too many "scared cows." A "sacred cow" is an idea that one's duties are fixed; that certain tasks are beneath one's dignity; that a messenger must lie called to de liver a note to a man in the next room; that every visitor must be announced; that everyone with a title must have a private office and a sec retary. Mr. O'Connor received his early training in newspaper offices where it is a tradition that there are 110 "sacred cows." A newspaper man is not allowed to develop any false dignity. hen and emergency arises, he is expected to pitch in and help to cover the story, even though the task which falls to him may be far outside his normal duties. The result of this policy is that I a newspaper office is an interesting place to work. The morale is high, i Stiff-backed individual are quickly discovered and forced out. Circum ' stances may arise at any time under which a cub reporter gets an oppor tunity to do a brilliant bit work which may "make him" overnight. Other circumstances may force a star reporter to do the most menial of tasks, as "chasing" copy from the editorial to the composing room. Elasticity of organization makes I for health of organization. Contrast the situation in newspaper offives with Mr. O'Connor's obser vation of many ■modern business offices. He says: " 'Sacred cows' are all over the place—in private offices, i behind closed doors, sheltered by bodyguards of secretaries and office boys, here, there, everywhere. "They are running departments, or bureaus, or superintending this or that division of the business, or doing some sort of special work— each monarch in his own territorv. holding bis impregnable fortress, re fusing to do anything that isn't exactly in his line, sticking with grim determination to his allotted tasks, keeping away from additional duties. "And when emergencies arise, how many business organizations can ab solutely depend upon every member doing whatever is necessary to meet the situation? Will the'sacred cows' come out of their sanctums aand pitch in? Will the executives do the work of subordinates? Will everv man undergo trial and tribulation and sacrifice without a thought of protest?" —From a House Organ. Willingness to do is not ability to do. Ability to do is not always willingness to do. The combination only can accomplish things. # * It's easier to succeed by honesty than by dishonesty. ELLIS-STONE & CO. "Greensboro's Best Store" for Women and ilvlsses. Women in 1848 Women have gained in indepen dence since 1848, at which time: All of a married woman's earn | ings belonged to her husband. He was the sole guardian of the j children. He had the legal right to beat her in moderation—i.e., which a stick no thicker than a man's thumb. There were no free public school ; for girls. There were almost no women's societies except church sewing circles. It was "unwomanly" to belong even to a temperance club.— Sel. Some Dictionary Work on the Oxford Dictionary has been under way since 1859. The dictionary is not yet com pleted. Nine volumes have been pub j lished. The tenth and concluding I volume is still in process of com pletion, and publication. It would probably be safe to say I that literally hundreds who spent j years of their life on this great work [have not lived or will not live to see it completed. The d ictionary in its present state | extends to 14,597 pages and deals with 391,710 words, illustrated by | 1,704,318 quotations. These quotations were collected in an interesting way. Back in the, sixties, a call was issued for volun teers to assist in the work. Readers ! sent in thousands of quotations, j These were filed in pigeonholes which line the walls of the work rooms. As the study progressed, it became dear that the immensity of the work ; had not been fully realized. Addi tions have constantly been made to the stall'. Now that completion is finally in j sight, it is natural that the English i should be boastful of this monu- I mental work. In fact, it seems that a record has been established for speed, notwith- I standing that sixty-four years have j elapsed since the work was started. —Type Metal Magazine Women are smart—they let the men think of them as the weaker sex. * * * In what concerns you much, do do not think you have companions; know that you are alone in the world.— Anonymous. * * * Necessity generally drives us in the right direction. It often brings us to the point where we must de pend on our instincts. * * * If you have something to say people will listen.
The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Oct. 3, 1923, edition 1
4
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