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THE GUILFORDIAN
Published Semi-Monthly by tiic Students of Guilford College
Editor-in-Chief Clara Belle Welch
Managing Editor Ernest White
Business Manager Horace Stimson
SPECIAL EDITORS
Sports Editor J- B. Gouger
/ Sanira Smith
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I Warren Bezant on
Alumni Editor Esther Lee Cox
REPORTERS
Frances Alexander Louise Ward Mary Alma Coltrane
Martha Taylor Ruth FiKjuay Mary Br.vnnt
Harry Brown John Macomber William Ferris
(liailys Bryan Winston Davis Charles McKenzie
Elizabeth Alexander Franltlin Fowler Mary Editli Woody
Erwiu Werner John McNairy Lily Bet Hales
SECRETARIAL STAFF
Nell Ellington Billie Osborne
Clara Robertson
Circulation Manager Ted Pollock
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FACULTY ADVISERS
Mr. Philip Furnas Miss Dorothy Gilbert
Address all communication to THE GUILFORDIAN,
Guilford College, N. C.
Subscription price $1.50 per year
Entered at the post otiiee in Guilford College us second class matter
Dancing
It doesn't take a close observer to notice that social life is lacking
on this campus. Perhaps we should be discouraged in our attempts
to get dancing here, after being so hopeful last spring and then having
all our hopes completely crushed. We're not—and some day people
will realize that it is a modern world in which we live.
Our sister institutions ljave no such scruples against dancing. Last
week Earlham sponsored a Kip Van Winkle Ball—"the biggest and
best ever." Everybody went in masks to frolic together. The ball
room represented Sleepy Hollow, but Rip was unable to attend due
to an attack of "Sleepy Sickness." To carry out the superstition each
guest was requested to forfeit thirteen cents on entering—to provide
mysterious "potions" for all "after the ball was over." In other
words, it was a big success—it was an evening of pure entertainment
for the students.
Haverford College sponsored their first Cotillion Club Dance last
week. This dance is to be followed by others later in the year. They
have their own orchestra, the " Haverfordians," so the problem of
music for them is solved.
They are Quaker colleges just the same as Guilford, and too, the
majority of their students come from Quaker families and Quaker pre
paratory schools; yet the colleges are not condemned because dancing
is allowed. If we all belong to the Quaker sect, our views shouldn't
be absolutely contradictory. Why can't, we be broad minded too?
Possibilities Not Realized
The Zatasian and Philoinetkean Literary Societies offer excellent
opportunities for co-operative study and pleasure. We realize, only
too well right now, what a disappointment these two societies have
been for the past few years. When the members of the present senior
class were first year students these organizations were quite outstand
ing, and to become a member of one of them was considered an honor
and a pleasure. Yet they have not developed as social units to the
extent that is expected of them. The programs have failed in being
literary except at rare intervals. The societies are dying because
persons consider their membership in them a duty rather than some
thing of which to be proud. It seems a shame to let them be dropped
because of such an apparent lack of interest.
This criticism is not directed at the heads of the societies —it con
cerns each member. It seems that the so-called literary societies of
Guilford College would do well to "redefine aims," take an intellec
tual and social inventory, and strive to realize more of their possibili
ties in these two specific respects. The two men's societies faded out
of existence two years ago. We've hung on to our societies, each year
showing less interest than in preceding years. We plead with you—
consider the situation carefully before you let your societies go the
way of the men's organizations,
f ...
Haver ford Centennial
Their first century is history now, they're making their plans for
the second century, the present and the future. The centenary cele
bration was a huge success—one unbiased person's opinion was, "one
of the smoothest-run programs of its kind I ever saw." The entire
affair seemed to have gone off like clock-work. There was hearty co
operation of the alumni, faculty members and undergraduates—and
that's what it takes. The year marking the century for this college
is not far away, and we can only hope that our celebration will be
received as enthusiastically by our own alumni, faculty members and
undergraduates.
THE GUILFORDIAN
'^mu.
o brethren of our tribe
think not g. c.
is scotch
because you see
the world's most widely used paper
streaming from trees
it is not drying
to be used again
it is o brethren
a sign of festivity
of festivity and great joy
Campus Shorts
The slow drawl of a Virginia accent,
"Good—night—me—love" ... "I don't
like his hair; I don't like his nose;
hut his lips, Oh! Oh! . . . Postmaster
reports campus letter addressed to
Johnny Burgwyu marked "Rush, Mail
man. Itusli" . . . Ask Ted Pollock what
stork stockings are . . . Ask Louise Lee
if she likes (logs. . . . Ask Dr. Ljung
to name his favorite bar of candy. . . .
Nelson Jones wants to know what a
cow can give butter milk. . . . Ask
Charlie Biddie if Julia Blair would
really have screamed . . . "You are
the cra-zie-est thing I have ever seen."
. . . Ask Burton, Lane, and Ellington
if they know what Trouble is . . . the
Great Lovier of the campus-—Billy
Noah. . . . Ask Ed Bobb and Snake
Ward to play airplane as they play it
in their night club. . . . Gentlemen, can
Irma Lee make your heart palpitate
when she starts reciting? I ask you.
Wright tried P. K.-ing at 35 and
ended up in a hole with his arms
around a limb—of a tree
Imperial Teddy has purchased a pea
cock green Nash. lie never fails to
have a load when he goes for a drive,
and he never fails to go for a drive.
Raseley says:
"Now that we have a new Dean, our
distant relatives can start dying all
over again."
Things I never knew until now
about the Head Waitah:
—that he is a past master in the
arts of persunsion, double-crossing,
and leaving 'em gasping.
—that he is the finest tennis instruc
tor in the state.
—that he brought down the fresh
man history class by boldly and auda
ciously declaring that the Holy Roman
Kn.pire was neither Holy mr Roman
nor lunpire.
—tii.t he holds midnight conferences
with (he Dietitian and Dean of Wo
men and is able to eke out mor • than
moral victories in philosophical dis
missions with these dignitaries.
—that he can walk in his sleep.
—that he thought he was in heaven
over at St. I>o's. Sixteen nurses wait
ed on him, each lovelier than tile one
before. When the sixteenth cnme 111
he rubheil his eyes anl pinched him
self. "Where are your wings?" he in
quired. ''l am going to look after you
sometime—all the time," she cooed.
—that lie thought he was enough of
a power on the campus to keep the
Minute Man hushed by threats. That's
our excuse. Nertz to you, Neat!
Yes, we're going to turn over a new
leaf the first of the week. We only
hope we don't make a mistake and
turn it backward!
i pewee meditating
in Wednesday chapel on the oddities
of guilford college
thought how strange a place
where smoking is allowed in the rooms
but not on the campus
where poker is played
hut not bridge
where the girls dance
where the boys dance
but where the girls and boys
never dance.
On the Care and
Feeding of a
Professor
Some light study in liis courses is
recommended during tile first period
of your acquaintance; afterward it is
of no practical importance. With your
professor the first impression is the
one in all and the all in all, the be
ginning and the end. A stock of mis
cellaneous information on his subject
will carry you over swimmingly once
you have convinced him you are the
student he has always dreamed would
There are. to he sure, certain reli
able methods of correcting an undesir
able first impression, but to enumerate
these is outside the scope of our essay.
To pacify the professor under whom
you are not studying I his good will is
an asset of surprising importance), you
must always pretend a passionate
though frustrated desire to take his
courses. "All. Professor Dufflesnitch,"
you must say, "I am terrifically inter
ested in Semitic epigraphy. But one
never gets around to study the things
one is really interested in, now, does
one? Ah, Professor Dufflesnitch, I
could give my life to the study of
Semitic epigraphy and Egyptian ori
gins—to terrifically interesting."
The professor who is married and
has children is God's gift to college
students. Small children, of course;
from one. say, to seven or eight. I
observe with a mental addition to my
conception of our average intelligence
how many G. 0. students are taking
advantage of this special weakness of
the professor —to have his children
made much of. A very few, I am con
vinced, get by on nothing but this.
Naturally it takes a great deal of time,
but it is less unpleasant than study,
a little less.
Collect assiduously the peculiar fan
cies of your professor in his subject.
They are fewer and simpler than you
think if you have ever enumerated
them. I could outline here, for an
example, the obsessions of one pro
fessor in one of his courses in seven
words. But it would be pointless: you
know the seven words, or nt least you
will by the time you begin the course.
Remember these obsessions as you
value your grade, and concoct an
agreeable paragraph of pointless en
thusiasms about every one.
Another practical objective easily at
tained by capitalizing skilfully on the
enthusiasms of your professor should
be indicated. Find him alone when he
is in a placid, opulent, and expansive
mood. You may ascertain thjs by
an indefinite facial expression of con
tentment and Indolence. Make a re
mark about the weather, to check on
his mood and disarm suspicion, then
put him a question you have worked
out carefully beforehand, one that will
lead in the development of its answer
into one of his enthusiasms, but not
so obviousy as to throw him on his
guard. You will have seconds of sus
pense. but if he takes the cue you may
relax indefinitely. Only make certain
that your attitude reflects absorbed
occupation in what he is saying, and
approval of every word. An occasional
nod and an assenting hum are your
contribution to the conversation. Count
the passing minutes anil quarter hours
not with alarm but with satisfaction;
the longer he talks the better for you.
Care for your professor in this man
ner and he will thrive and flourish,
and A's will iiocU to the registrar's
oflice as regularly as your heart can
wish for.
Probably those rare individuals who
are able to live in the world of ideas —
in Santayana's "Ideal Society"—are the
happiest people of all becauss they are
the least dependent on the whims and
scorns of fate. . . For my part, when
I come to die, I hope that I shall be able
to quote the words of the late Oomtesse
de Noailles: "Life lias greatly tempted
me, and as I was brave, I turned from
the risk, nor the joy, nor the pain.—
Anonymous, Harper's.
October 28, 1033
Several times lately, since rhe morn
ings have been crisp and chilly, we
have been awakened by the sounds of
gunshots down in the woods in back
of the barns. Sometimes, too, we hear
a hunting dog baying. The hunting
ought to be good about now. Person
ally, we've never tried it, but we ex
pect to some day, and we think that
as soon as we get over the first at
tack of "buck fever" we shall enjoy it.
The mention of hunting brings to
mind the story an old trapper we once
knew told us a few years ago. Al
though the particular incident occur
red in the winter time, rather than
in the fall, the telling of it is apropos
while we are on the subject of hunting.
When he was a young man, old Fer
ris lived in the Adirondacks, spending
most of his time tending his trap lines,
of which he had several, running out
from his shack at Waneinoosac Lake,
about 7li miles south of the St. Law
rence.
One morning he .set out for only a
day, as he was making the circuit of
his shortest line. It was January 17,
1871. The old fellow was positive of
the date when he told me the yarn,
because the day was for years remem
bered as the coldest ever experienced
in that part of the country. He was
traveling light, carrying only pemml
can for a couple of meals, snowshoes,
powder, shot, and a shotgun. By noon
he had collected quite a few pelts, and
being hungry, he rested on a big flat
rock alongside the trail while he
munched on some pemmican, which is
a preparation of dried meat and fat
with dried berriese to give it a little
more flavor.
Ferris was sitting there when sud
denly lie noticed a stealthy movement
in the underbrush to his left. Then,
out stalked the biggest Bruin he had
ever seen, gaunt and famished already,
even though it was ony the middle of
the winter. Probably the odor of the
pemmican attracted and emboldened
him. The ugly brute's eyes glowed
redly, like an angry pig's, as he sham
bled up closer, growling and slavering.
Now an enraged bear is no pet lap
dog, so Ferrils commenced to fill his
old muzzle loader, when all at once
he discovered that he had lost his
pouch of shot!
Well, a hand-to-hand fight with that
old critter wasn't pleasant to antici
pate, and the sweat began to pour off
Ferris's brow. Pretty soon he heard
a little light patter all around his
feet. Looking down, he saw that the
drops of perspiration were freezing as
they fell, due to the extreme cold, and
were causing the sound which he
heard.
Being of an ingenious turn of mind,
our trapper was struck with a bright
idea. Stooping over slowly, so as not
to incite further the raging animal
ss: ill approaching him, lie gathered up
a handful of the little pellets, loaded
his shotgun with them, and fired at
tlii' hear. The heat of the exploding
gunpowder melted them, the extreme
frigidity of the atmosphere froze them
solid again as they left the gun, so
that they penetrated the bear's skull.
Once inside that skull, the ice drops
were meltd for the last time by the
animal's body heat, and Mr. Bruin
fell over, dead of water 011 the brain.
Psychologists would say that fresh
men are complex in their simplicity.
Samra Smith should he teaching Eng
lish instead of taking it.
Mrs. Milner informs the Psychology
I class that there is nothing to the
saying that girls may be "beautiful
but dumb." Mrs. Milner, we don't
mind if they are just dumb.