Newspapers / The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.) / April 28, 1934, edition 1 / Page 2
Part of The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.) / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
Page Two THE GUILFORDIAN Published Semi-Monthly by the Students of Guilford College Editor-in-Chief Ernest White issoeiatc Editor Dorothy Sturdivant Managing Editor Frances Alexander Business Manager Marvin Sykes Special Editors Sports IJditor Charlie MacKenzie feature Editor Sainra Smith Alumni Editor .Miss Era Lasley Assistant Alumni Editor Mary Alma Coltrane Reporters Robert I'oole Louise Ward Mary Bryant Gladys liryan Kuril Fuquay William Ferris Howard Wooley John Macomber Mary Kdlth Woody John McXalry Winston Davis Billy Anderson Franklin Fowler Secretarial Staff Elizabeth Gilleam Clara Robertson Edith Moore Circulation Manager Earle Kuykendall Assistant Circulation Manager La Verne Wellons Assistant Easiness Manager John Kl'adshaw faculty Advisers Mr. I'hilip Furnas Miss Dorothy Gilbert Address all communication to THE GUILFORDIAN, Guilford College, N. C. Subscription price $1.50 per year Entered at the post oil ice in Guilford College as second class matter Another Page Election day at Guilford has come and gone, and a new set of stu dent officers is "taking over." THE GUILFORDIAN congratulates those elected and the student body in its choice of leaders. The election system in vogue at Guilford by which there is no "politicing" and factionalism is also to be commended. The balloting went off quietly; students voted for those they thought best deserved the honor and could most efficiently do the work. When the new officers take up their duties, they turn to a clean sheet in the record. Whether they will write "debit" or "credit" on that page of Guilford's record, remains to be seen. Or they may leave it blank, which is the worst way of all. - Succession Outside the student government associations, the student organiza tions are run by a veritable bureaucracy. Except where the candidates were nominated from the floor, it was not candidates who were put on the ballot. In practically every case it was the person who was already chosen by a very small group to be the new officer, together with a scapegoat who was merely running for the trip. One who was sure to be elected and one who was a good candidate because he could not possibly draw enough votes to upset the calculations. This situation was due, in most cases, not to partiality but to a lack of available candidates. Hut it requires no doctor of political science to see that the power wielded by the nominating board is to all intents and purposes absolute. It should be borne in mind by the leaders, of publication boards particularly, that while it is all very well this year for a group of seniors to do all the work, that makes for chaos next year. A line of legitimate succession should be established, so planned that the heir apparent, a junior, will be fully trained and ready to take up the scepter as each throne is vacated. Under that system, THE GUILFORDIAN, for instance, would not have started the year, as it did, with editor-in-chief and business manager totally unfamiliar with the task handed them. If the offices of the publications are to be filled by election, the student body should, by all means, have one nomination from the floor if merely to safeguard democracy. A better way would be to have the offices taken over by a line of planned succession, approved by the boards themselves. A Straw in the Wind Spring is in the air—there is not so much more of the semester impending. Certain boxes in the post office have lately become bur dened with mail in the form of college catalogues. Guilford does much more for the student who needs financial assist ance in order that lie may complete his college course. It may lie that Guilford is neglecting those few students who come here, even though they could go to school elsewhere. One particular department of the college, a department which is apart from the academic field, has recently achieved much adverse criticism. Economy is a good thing when it can be practiced without costing more than it saves. It might be well for those responsible for the money coming in from students to carefully adjust their relations with those who spend it. Is the money saved, by having boarding students discontented, enough to balance the wanderlust shown by the college catalogues that have been ordered? THE GUILFORDIAN does not kick. It merely registers a rumbling from the dormitories to which the authorities appear to be deaf. THE GUILFORDIAN Greetings, felicitations, salutations, and hello. Scoop! After careful observation and much shadowing, Kyke has at last substantiated his opinion that Martha Lane "hesitates" behind the door in Mem hall. lie caught her in the act! But we find after even more careful observation that the same Kyke "indi cates" with his index finger. Shame on you, Earl. Once upon a time the choir went on a trip to Burlington, and imagine Jesse and Bill's chagrin when, returning at some ungodly hour, they found not their own homey room but one of Farmer Jones' cows placidly chewing her cud in the middle of an empty cubicle. When they finally succeeded in getting all their furniture back in its destined place and had gone after the last load, the chagrin turned to ties tres bcaueoup de anger and cen sored words when they found it had all been pitched out the window. I al ways say "Give them an inch and they'll take the whole darned tape measure." And will someone please enlighten me as to the causes, symptoms, and nature of the ailment which has been causing "Georgia" Lassiter no end of trouble for the last week, which the nurse cannot diagnose, and which when it is suggested that she ask "Dr. Jones" makes Helen turn all the colors of the rainbow. Did you know that the way to catch a man is to go to Founders every morning, noon and night and be chat ting nonchalantly in the hall when they come out of the dining room? And that Nell has fallen down again and will show her skinned knee for the ask ing? And that Tuck also took a tum ble when she tried to cross a ditch that is less than a foot wide? Far 1)0 it from me to see how Guil ford could produce anyone so gentle manly (???) as this: a former stu dent actually got up nerve enough the other day to ask his girl's mother if it would be all right to kiss her even though he had been going with her only two years. Note to swains: Gee, why don't you ask my ma she wouldn't care! Famous excerpts of the week: An excerpt from a soph, speech: "There is so much inter-marriage be tween the blaeks and whites that the white race is gradually being doomed to extinction." Gee, and I thought it was dirt on my neck all the time! From a fellow staff-member: "Danc ing is only 'necking' set to music, and the music is usually rotten, so why bother about it at all in the long run?" Davis' last stand upon seeing Wes ton preparing to pump up an already flattened tire: "Hey, Ikey, don't let the air out of that tire; we've already (lone it." Poole's dress rehearsal speech: "Do you wonder that my ..." Ask him the rest and please note the profuse blushes. Hepler: "I ought to be a good wrest ler now, I have been practicing all my holds on . . . another censored one . . . ask him. And they do say that a certain cou ple thought that we were applauding at the dance the other night when we all stopped dancing and stood and watched them and they still don't know why the radio went flooie and George Sil ver got out at twelve o'clock and tried to catch two of a man's et rabbits for biology and succeeded only in getting his clothes ruined—so carbolic acid —- —goodbye in any language. The Fable of the College Dignitary and the Loyal Alumnus Urgently requested by the college dignitary to call and talk over plans for improvements, the loyal aumnus arrived at the time appointed, and after brief forma it ies they got down to busi ness. "I wished to discuss with you," be gun the college dignitary, "a plan for keeping bull calves out of the class rooms and dormitories. We have been extremely annoyed of late " "Ah, so I have heard." "A sustaining fund of perhaps $600,- 000 would be required to carry out the project as I have it in mind." "Is it proposed," asked the loyal alumnus, "that Plin Mears be excluded from college?" "A sinking fund of $-400,000 would be required to carry through that part of the project, to be subscribed over a period of 4,000 years. Realizing your loyalty to the institution, I had won dered if you " "I shall be glad to co-operate in every way possible, especially in such ; a worthy cause. Co-operation, there's ; the secret of getting things done. I ; suppose you remember my editorial on ' co-operation in '79." "Oh, quite well. Returning to the matter of the little bull calves, or, as I should say " "Yes, of course. T was thinking, Doc tor, that if there were fewer profes sors, there would be ample room for the bull calves." "Ah, but professors are traditional. A corollary to your solution, and one which I have contemplated is that the students should be allowed to re turn to their homes, and their quar ters be turned over to the bull calves. This solution is infinitely more appro priate, T may add, for the attitude of the student body toward the sugges tions of the adminisration often re sembles the attitude which might be expected from a bull calf. Ah, what a veritable Eden would be a college without students. Heigh, ho!" Absorbed in dreams of the earthly paradise, he sat without speaking for a long while, and the loyal alumnus respected his silence. "But consider, Doctor," he ventured at length, "how bull calves would add to the natural beauty and richness of the landscape." The college dignitary hoisted himself in his chair with an expression of dis tinct displeasure: "That sounds slight ly porographic to me," he thundered. The loyal alumnus bowed his head. "It was meant to be." "And besides," continued the college dignitary, to use his advantage, "it would be a sock in the puss to our dear Quaker friends. And furthermore," he concluded, "when bull calves become grey-headed, they are no longer con sidered bull calves." "That is quite true, but in this T was thinking of them as students exclusive ly." "Alas, T fear that is impossible." "Perhaps not, Doctor. Why couldn't we have bull calves for quarterbacks, and stable them in the gymnasium? Then, when they grew up, they could be fullbacks." Chuckling richly, he gave the college dignitary a dig in the paunch. "Levity and facetiousness do not be come you. Please to remember the gravity and import of our subject. There is a crowning disadvantage to the prospect of having bull calves for professors of which T have not yet spoken. I fear that a herd of bull calves would be exceedingly difficult to manage in faculty meeting." "They would indeed," admitted the loyal alumnus. "But now we have a further menace to consider. We must prevent the bull calves from replacing the student body." "A distasteful task, but, T fear, nec essary. We must float a bond issue of SBOO,OOO as a guarantee. "Enough! Would T ruin my gootl name for such a thing! Doctor, this is a lot of bull anyway." "Quito right. T shall sook out the person who has made me indulge in April 28, 1931 COMPOSING The English teacher calmly looked over the class. "You may each bring in an essay of not less than 500 words for the next recitation." Such was the edict. I looked at him. hut he was raying no attention to us, ho being occupied with gathering up his books in preparation to leave the class-room. Not many of us expect to become Lambs, Words worths, or Emer gens, and a written theme is something that strikes consternation to my soul. It makes me feel as if my liver has been out of order for a week. But— "lt's ours not to question why, Ours but to do or die." So, after delaying as long as possi ble, I take a nice sheet of paper and hopefully write a title. Then T bite the lead off the pencil and look at the title. It doesn't look so warm. So I make a lot of little marks all around the edge of the paper and a now idea comes into my head. I change the title. It looks worse this time. The pencil now lias teetli-marks. Now I feel thirsty and a journey to the water cooler follows. There another inspira tion strikes me and I think a little fresh air would help me. I take a walk down to the end of the hall, stop at the window, and gaze at the stars. Then I thrust both hands down into my breeches pockes and finger a miscella neous collection of coins, a knife, a corckscrew, two nails, three sliirt but tons, a round pebble, and an odd little piece of carved wod which I secured from a fortune-teller and is supposed to bring mo good luck. Now, I think I will go back and write an essay that will tame any Lamb. I return to my table. Some how the inspiration has all oozed away. My mind is a perfect void: wholly empty of any thoughts or ideas. I take a sheet of paper and write something across the top. Then T crush it up and throw it on the floor. That makes mo feel better. So T take another sheet and write a fresh title. It still looks bad. I roll it into a nice long funnel and shoot it at the ceiling. For a lit tle variety T tear the next sheet asun der and scatter it on he floor. Now T get up and tear my hair, fling off my coat, and kick off my shoes. And de clare I will stop the English course to morrow. But at last I compose myself and be gin to write. The more T write, the more rotten seems the subject T have chosen. However, I sweat and strain till T complete one sentence after another. All the time I know how bad they are because T am apt to get 15 different tenses, eight kinds of verbs, seven persons, and voices: active and passive, soprano and bass. The sub ject also has an uncontrollable way of leading off into something else, blind alleys preferred. Then when T think I must have written at east six hun dred words, T count them —and find three hundred and twenty-four. But the royal edict was five hundred words! Now, Noah Webster got forty thousand words out of twenty-six letters, but it almost gives me a brain storm to se lect the one hundred and seventy-six from this number needed to complete my theme. One thing T promise here and now: when T tench English no boy will be required to write essays. The class and myself will go out and pla\ mumblv-peg. -IT™ STTAHP. such expressions, anil let him feel the weight of my hand. "By all means let lis oxeeute sum mary .justice on him. But T am ex ceedingly thirsty, and may T suggest that a mug of Royal Pilsener would wash tho taste of unpleasant words from your mouth?" "An excellent suggestion." MORATJ: Posterity is just around the corner.
The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
April 28, 1934, edition 1
2
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75