Page Eight
Seniors Analyze 'Corpse'
Curriculum; Are Worn out
In view of the age-old argument
as to whether the curriculum is
a boon to humanity, or merely
outfits Guilfordians to he the most
well-tread plumliers' helpers in the
union, The Guilfordian has decided
to clarify the issue.
Herewith, two successful seniors
(a retired major in Freshman Span
ish, and our fearless but harm
less gossip columnist) present a
brief survey of the required courses.
Containing short descriptions and
examples, this work is designed for
evaluation purposes or even exam
cramming . . . provided the student
has no real desire to graduate with
in the next five years.
Freshman Math
A short course culminating in
astronomical computation of Hollo
well's bills. Credit—3 semester hours
and dirty looks from Hollowell.
Freshman English
A practical course designed to
teach the student :to write his name
without the aid of block letters, and
that a participle is not a many
wheeled motor bike. Thought is
being given to the preparation of
a junior course to enable one to
read what he has written.
Natural Science
Movies without popcorn or cow
boys. A thinking course . . . allows
the student ito believe the world
is round if he wants to (how silly!),
land solves nil problems by reducing
them to electron clouds. Taken
from one to four years.
World History
Four thousaind years in nine
months. A course containing fas
cinating stories-. . . -like that of a
lad named liomulus Remus, who
was adopted by wolves at a tender
age. Finding him unsociable for
SEBURN'S, Inc.
Look for Seburn's in looking for a nice
selection of gifts
116 North Elm Street Greensboro, N. C.
The College Cleaners
AND
Automat Laundry
Pre-Christmas Sale
Blue Bell Wrangler Jackets Zev Sport Jackets
$2.75 $5.50
Arena Sweaters Plastic Raincoats
Reduced 10% $2.98
Betty Miller's
51-gauge all-nylon twisted hose
SI.OO
tDIRT ADDS WEIGHT TO YOUR BAGGAGE
Let us clean your wardrobe before you go home /y
for Christmas —K
Jflerrp Cfjristmas attb a i>appj> gear %
R. E. CUMMINGS DICK PLEASANTS
wolf civilization, the pack threw
him out ito become a human . . .
crying, "Roam, darn you!" So he
founded a city, named it "Roam,"
aind became the first Roman. (The
present spelling of "Rome" is a lat
ter day corruption of spelling done
in the Dark Ages when one couldn't
see too well to write.)
General Psychology—and Sociology
General Psych, proves that man
is just a great big reflex (or obli
gated medulla). Calculated to crush
and confuse anyone self-confident
over becoming a sophomore.
Sociology follows up the psych,
in showing how the big reflexes get
along together. It offers an excel
lent view of the hockey field from
Che side windows.
Philosophy 24
A rapid study in which one can
dirop his pencil and get two weeks
behind in his reading. Features
Roman bathtubs bigger than train
stations; and Pope Gregory, who
scooped the Pepsi-Cola jingle by
four hundred years.
Philosophy 41-42
First half features such men as:
Socrates, the great Greek, famous
for his gift of gab and unpressed
toga. Pool rooms not having been
invented, he spent his time around
the fish markets—chatting with the
loafers and distracting the chariot
bookies, instead of looking for work.
This so annoyed the bookies that
they finally ganged up and slipped
him a cup of Hemlock-Finn . . .
which probably didn't grieve his
wife a bit.
The second half is on the great
men of laiter times; such as Locke,
who thought everybody had a sheet
of paper between his ears . . . and
a doctor named Kant, who declared
that Paregoric was Imperative.
THE GUILFORDIAN
Lost and Found Dept.
NOTE: These instructions were
found and mailed to The Guil
fordian in the hope that their
owner or the person to whom
they are dim-ted may retrieve
them. Owner can get them hy
calling 3612.
CARE OF THE CAT
To stay down cellar and be fed
oil the tap step unless she escapes
outdoors. In that ease, it is not
necessary to bring her back in and
slue may be waiting to come In the
next time.
Fed in two pottery soup dishes
with handles alternately. Also has
water to the brown dish.
Feed: enough Spratt's cat food
(a green package with the other
cereals on the top shelf beside the
sink) to cover the bottom of the
blue dish. With milk from the re
frigerator.
She doesn't always eat (probtably
catches some mice, etc., so she
Isn't always hungry enough). But
the milk tends to sour after a few
hours, so that a new dish has to be
prepared for the next meal anyway.
She ought to be either shut down
cellar or ou'tdoors (and not left in
the rest of the house, as she might
havie an "accident" if she had to
stay upstairs for several hours with
no one to let her out.
ffltxxv Cfjristtmas
AND
& Happp J2eto gear
from
Archdale
"Hall of Champions"
Social Committee Plans Big Spring
The 1949-50 Social Committee of
Guilford College got off to a big
start this year with the presenta
tion of the Fireshman Dance. Fol
lowing the dance there have been
a series of free movies which the
social committee obtained through
Mr. Parsons and the Visual Aids
Department.
The second semester will be a
lot better in the way of entertain
ment. A Valentine Daince is going
to be given, and a little loiter 011
in the spring a big special barbecue
with food and drink for all is also
on the agenda.
Just before the spring holidays,
the social committee is working with
the Juniioir Class for the first ap
pearance of the "Junior Hall." This
ball will be in honor of the Senior
Class and will hn've as its guests
the last two graduating classes.
The second semester promises to
be well laden with activities and
better movies are in the ofiling.
There has been some slight interest
in a square dance. If there is suf
ficient interest shown, H band can
be obtained aind a real old-fashioned
square dance can be organized.
December 9,1949
The social committee would ap
preciate any suggestions that any
one has in accordance with activi
ties. It can put on anything you
want so long as you really want it.
Thanksgiving Dance
Highlights Season
Guilford's annual Thanksgiving
frolic, sponsored by the Veterans
Club on Saturday night, November
2ti, proved to be a top-notch eve
ning of dancing and entertainment.
With "Reg" Marshall and his Kiser
orchestra furnishing both sweet mu
sic and "bounce," the large crowd
present heard many unusual ar
rangements, including a drum solo
that stopped the dance.
The perfect touch was added by
effective Thanksgiving decorations,
the ceiling lowered with brown
and gold streamers, a'nd the band
stand fitted with a paper turkey
on a woven background of gold and
green. The couples mingled together
sipping lime-ice punch and dancing
until 11:30 p.m. All agreed it was
a very enjoyable evening.
Arthur Garrison and Bowman
Small deserve much credit for the
successful occasion.