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Dead Light Up Heavens
By Timothy Weary
No Experience Neceuary Reporter
I saw the Dead in Hampton the
other night (I saw a bunch of
other weird sights too) and they
were brilliant. I mean like the
lights man ... well, first it was
pitch black, but all the colors
make up black, right? I think I
saw 'em all on this kool-aid test.
Then some familiar folks tripped
up to the stage-Jerry, Phil, Bob -
you know their names (Phil
sang!), and at that point I distinc
tly heard God say "Let there be
light." And there was light. He
didn't get a chance to say
anything about sound before the
Dead unleashed their own
creations-their brand of audio
lightning bolts-with God on
rhythm guitar, of course.
But back to the lights. At first
Ultimate
Fizzbee
By the Jolly Green Stringbean
Tons One Todmy (Atrrespondent
It's come to be the cornerstone
of Camp Guilco. Every weekend
thousands of tourists turn out to
watch 12-20 maniacs run around
on the grass in front of New
Garden Hall. What am I talking
about? Yes, it's Ultimate Fizz
bee, that game played with a fun
ny looking flat disc-shaped ob
ject. In the event your team does
not possess a funny looking flat
disc shaped object, try a pie tin
(remove pie first).
Our friend "Big E" will now
give a short summary of the rules
and useful vocabulary for play.
1. Rule - the laws or regulations
predescribed by the founder of
this religious order for obser
vance by its members.
2. Stalling - divert or delay by
evasion or deception i.e. scrat
ching armpit, tying shoe, wat
ching sky for UFO.
3. up - into existence, when the
Bright Attentive person need
ed to fill the monthly position
of Guilfordian editorship. Ap
plications are now being
taken. No experience
necessary. Need own car and
bottle of asprin. Apply in per
son or get someone else to ap
ply for vou.
Page 6
Guilfraudulent -
they were candyapple-red,
cocaine-white, and police car
blue. The lights danced and
streamed and everything was li
quid. I mean waves of color
splashed you in the face (I was
soaked when leaving). Next the
colors turned jellybean-purple
sprinkled with forest green-jade.
They were fireball-orange; they
were island-turquoise. They were
truly trippy. They were warm
and friendly, and there were peo
ple behind the colors, and those
people all wore tie-dye smiles, as
the music smiled warm
snowflakes upon us.
The Dead will now be taking a
month off to prepare for their
next tour, which will open at
Guilford College for Serentripity.
Hope to see you there, so together
we can experience the only music
I know of that tastes like sugar
magnolias.
fizzbee is no longer in contact
with a human or any other in
animate object.
4 down - when fizzbee becomes
an inanimate object again.
5. downer - when other team
scores, making over all score 0-9.
6. I-got-it - 1) When one
member of the team is a ball hog.
2) I got it - used by team member
furthest from the fizzbee.
7. go - to be told by I-got-it to
run as far away from him and
disc as possible.
8. run - continued rapid move
ment usually to the point of ex
haustion.
9. score - to catch fizzbee in the
designated zone, preferably your
own.
10. out of bounds - when fizzbee
strikes a passerby, car (parked
or moving), a window.
11. frisbee - used for a plastic
disk several inches in diameter
sailed between players by a flip
of the wrist usually in coopera
tion with a flip of the brain.
April 1, 1986
6