December u, 1992
Choice of a lifetime
Kitson Broadbelt
Staff Writer
She is eighteen years old and a
freshman in college. She has a
smooth-featured face with full
pouty lips; the face of a girl, or a
very young woman at most. She is
a good student, the product of a
middle-class family. She is sitting
on her bed in her half-lit dorm
room, biting her nails, and telling
me what it is like to have an abor
tion.
"It was the worst sustained pain
I have ever felt in my life," she
whispers with her chin on her chest.
"Six to ten minutes of unyielding
pain."
This girl sitting across from me,
this girl only three months my se
nior, lifts her head back and sighs.
She shakes her head slowly and
closes her eyes. "The doctor walked
away and she had blood, like, all
over her gloves." She pauses star
ing down at her hands. "All I could
think was that was my
baby., .smeared all over her hands."
She had been five weeks preg
nant when she told me. By then the
WEED blossoms
Jonathan White
Staff Writer
Have you seen any W.E.E.D
around lately?
Do not be disturbed by this ques
tion, for it is an abbreviated title for
a publication written by Michael
Strickland's 110 English class.
w ml
Michael Strickland with students from his 110 English dassses, the
authors of the WEED newsletter
W.E.E.D (Writer's Educating
about Environmental Destruction)
is a "real-world project," says
Strickland, the idea being, to get
away from the traditional teacher/
student paper connection. A "real
world project" is about getting in
volved in the community, and let
ting the paper do its own work.
hysteria and the insanity had worn
away, at least repressed, and she
told me of the abortion with a cold
detachment that at the time chilled
me. I had no idea.
"I wanted to have it if there was
any way possible." she says, now
cradling a cup of coffee to her
chest. "I couldn't get an abortion. I
had no right—l was careless and
had made my decision by being so.
"I had conceived a baby in a
union of love, not some late-night,
one-time fling. I love my boyfriend
and what we had done together
was better than what you always
assume causes abortions."
Her boyfriend and she have been
together for some time now, and
sex had been a part of the relation
ship since almost the beginning.
Before, she tells me, they had al
ways used "withdrawal" as their
one and only preventive measure
for an unfeasable and unwanted
pregnancy. "I guess I felt I was so
in love that nothing could go wrong.
I was mistaken."
This girl's parents went through
the same when they were in their
early twenties; they decided on
Strickland planted the seed which
was later transformed by the culti
vating powers of his two classes
into a field of green writing.
The 110 English course is de
signed for students who have had
problems with their writing skills.
Strickland intertwined the the pains
and pleasures of writing with press-
ing environmental issues.
The class required each student
to be a part of the project, and on
top of that, write eight papers, keep
a journal, and write a case study on
their progress in the writing pro
cess. When I attended both classes
last Friday, I was amazed at the
students' ease concerning all of the
Features
abortion and the girl has always
known that Still, through accident
or mischance, carelessness or mis
calculation, a baby was conceived
inside of her, too, as in her mother
before her, when it was the last
thing either needed or wanted.
"My first reaction was, of course,
to have the baby if there was any
way possible. That would soon be
seen as financially and practically
impossible." I ask her about adop
tion . She shakes her head and stares
into her coffee!mug. "Adoption
was never an option in my mind.
My child, for what it was worth,
was created out of love. I had heard
too many horror stories of child
abuse in adoptive homes to ever
consider or even fathom giving my
baby away." She pulls a strand of
hair out of her face and coughs
gently, holding the fist in front of
her face. "I knew there would be
guilt and I knew it would be hard,
but it was the only way I had."
She finished her coffee and
crosses her thin, fair legs. Her hips
are very narrow; any birthing would
obviously have been hard and pain
ful, but one cannot help but won-
work they have had to do. But they
had some tough times putting it all
together.
As in any other class, people
brought radically different views.
Most of the students said that they
were aware of the environmental
issues. Others did not know or
care about the destruction of the
enviroment.
On both ends
of the rope,
each student
feels they have
increased their
awareness
about the is
sues and put a
steady hand to
their work
with words
The stu
dents of
W.EJE.Dhope
to put out an
other issue,
but they are
not quite sure
whether they
will proceed
with the task.
I think it is a
grand
Photo by Carl Bcchlcr
achievement for both of the 110
English classes and a smooth show
of writing on issues that need to be
seen by our campus and the com
munity beyond. So if you see
some W.E.E.D, pick it up, don't
smoke it, read it, and put the ideas
to work.
der which would be more painful,
which ending more severe. The
honest and best question, though,
is the why. Why this at all? Some
where, she tells me, for a short time
there was a blueprint inside of her,
a design for a human being that
would never, could never be re
peated. Now that is gone. She tells
me that five girls on her hall alone
have been pregnant and had abor
tions in the last two years. Includ
ing herself that makes six girls in
her hall, in their late teens who
have had or are planning abor
tions. Why?...l ask softly. Why on
earth, why?
"I was stupid because I never
saw it happen. I was in love, I was
invincible. Reality did not matter
at the time. I'm su: that's how it
usually happens. I never knew how
much it hurts, how often it hap
pens, anything. No one ever
knows."
She has nightmares now and
sleep is a rare commodity. The
guilt still holds her fast and stays
with her almost every moment.
She says that she has taken a life
but she hopes (her large blue eyes
I
If you binge, purge,or
starve there is hope for
you.
Come to a SUPPORT
GROUP for persons with
EATING DISORDERS.
The group can give a
SENSE OF COMMUNITY
while helping you LEARN
THE TRIGGER SITUATIONS
for your problem eating
behaviors.
There is a S3O fee for 6 sessions to be
paid in advance.
Making Peace with Food bv Susan
Kano will be given to each member.
How do you join?
Call Olive Jenkins at 316-2184 and
make a 20minute appointment with
Jane Caris now or early next
semester.
€fje §uiltorfcian
lift towards me heavily as she tells
me this) that perhaps if she can tell
others of what has happened to her
and, if only once, prevents this
from happening to someone else,
then she feels her baby's life was
not wasted, "I felt a presence in
side me. Every minute of every
day I knew it was there. I feel
empty n0w...1 feel something is
missing."
This girl with the large, sad, blue
eyes fidgets with her empty coffee
mug and stares out the window at
the fallen leaves that are scattered
across the lawn outside. One asks
cautiously and as tenderly as pos
sible how she feels, now that it is
over.
A shadow of something, of re
flection crosses her face and she
shakes her head. "I'm not sure yet
if I'm in shock, denial, or if I'm
okay. It's not over yet." There are
still the nightmares, and the lasting
physical pain still echoes daily in
side her. Somehow, someday, she
is sure it will be at least a little
easier. She has no idea how long it
will take. And there is no one in
sight who can tell her.
9