Newspapers / The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.) / Feb. 18, 1994, edition 1 / Page 10
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EbM&ujltorbian 10 Presenting: the Mighty Joe Wallace Features Editor Since the Academy Award nominations were announced last week, exemplifying the excellence in movie making for 1993, I thought it only fair that we iden tify those people and pictures who were nominated for, and winners of, the Mighty Ishtar Awards. What's that? You say you've never heard of the Mighty Ishtar Awards? Well let me explain. The Mighty Ishtar Awards are the equivalent of Hollywood's Golden Turkey Awards, which de notes the worst films of the year. And since the movie Ishtar could easily go down as the worst film of the 80's, I have granted my awards its name. So, without further ado, let's get to the nominees. It is blatantly clear that all of these films are deserved of the highest award we at A.M.I.A. (As sociation of the Mighty Ishtar Award) have to offer, but we can only give it to one. Let's see... We've got Carnosaur, the film Name [AND THE WINNER 15... i Phone ■ I It's Oscar time again. Did you et>er woMer what itwoutd be like to win on Oscar night? Well now you can. The Guilford | inn and Blockbuster Video is proud to bring you, the And The Winner 15... contest. It's real easy to play. All you have to do , ■ is circle the nominee you think WILL (not should) win . Then, the entry with the most correct winners will win a free rental | from Blockbuster Video and get to see their name printed in The Guilfordian. Good Luck, and see you at the Oscars! Entries are due into the Info Desk by Monday, March 19th at 6:00 pm Best Picture Best Actor Best Actress Best Supporting Actress Best Original Song j | • Schindler's List • Daniel Day-Lewis • Angela Bassett • Holly Hunter • "Again" |• In the Name of the Father In the Name of the Father What's Love Got to Do The Firm Poetic Justice I • The Piano • Laurence Fishbume With It • Emma Thompson • "The Day I Fall In Love" I I • The Fugitive What's Love Got to Do • Stockard Channing In the Name of the Father Beethoven's 2nd I • The Remains of the Day With It Six Degrees of Separation • Anna Paquin • "Philadelphia" • Tom Hanks • Holly Hunter The Piano Philadelphia Best Director Philadelphia The Piano • Rosie Perez • "Streets of Philadelphia" Jane Campion • Anthony Hopkins • Emma Thompson Fearless Philadelphia The Piano Remains of the Day The Remains of the Day • Winona Ryder •"A Wink and a Smile" j • Steven Spielberg • Liam Neeson • Debra Winger The Age of Innocence Sleepless in Seattle Schindler s List Schindler's List Shadowlands D*C A * * O CW *■ • Jim Sheridan Best Supporting Actor Best Sound Effects In the Name of the Father _ ~ . . . R . nHaJnil , * Leonardo DiCaprio Eflting • James Ivory "wZLv The Remains of the Day _ rw. • Ralph Fiennes -The Fugitive > • Robert Altman * 6 n •/ thp fin? nfFire Schindler's List • Jurassic Park Shortcuts -Inthe Name of the Father -In the Line of Fire . Tommy Lee Jones _ • The Remains of the Day •Philadelphia The Fugitive Best Visual Effects Best Mflkewp • Schindler's List • The Piano . John M alkovich * Cliffhanger • Mrs. Doubtfire . Shadowlands • Sleepless in Seattle . , .. - • Jurassic Park ■ • Philadelphia "Vo ", L . * Tim Burton's The Night -0 , r . • Pete Postlethwaite . 6 I ! • Schindler s List _ , „ . mare Before Christmas i In the Name of the Father J > THE NOMINEES FOR WORST PICTURE OF 1993 ARE: • Carnosaur • Hard Target • Cop and a 1/2 • Robin Hood: Men in Tights • Last Action Hero about a mad biologist (Diane Ladd) who is upset at the way hu mankind has handled the Earth since we inherited it from the di nosaurs. So she devises a scheme to "return the dinosaur to its right ful position in the ecosystem" by using human women as hosts for her returning animals from pre-his toric times. It's sort of a mix be tween Jurassic Park and Aliens, with the special effects of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Then there's Hard Target, star ring Jean Claude van Damme (this year's Mighty Ishtar Award winner jFeaturea for Worst Actor of 1993 for this very movie). Van Damme plays a Vietnam veteran from the Bayou (another clever attempt to explain his French accent) who sets out to stop a wealthy crime organization that uses homeless people as tar gets in a deadly game of cat and mouse, where the homeless victim is the hunted, and the wealthy sportsman is the hunter. The only redeeming characteristic this film has is Wilford Brimley's portrayal of Van Damme's cajun uncle, Louie. Brimley provides some rather unintentional (but appreci- ated) humor for this horrible film. Then we've got Burt Reynolds in Cop and a 1/2. This film casts Reynolds as a police officer inves tigating a murder that only a pint sized trouble-maker was witness to. The problem is, the kid won't talk to the police unless they make him a cop too. So I guess you can see where this is heading. Burt Reynolds seems to have an inept ability to star in some of the worst movies. The only good thing about this film is that they didn't get Macaulay Culkin to play the kid. Next is Mel Brooks' latest movie, Robin Hood: Men in Tights. This "would-be" parody of Kevin Costner's Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves never got off the ground. Unfortunately, this is just another in a long line of Brooks' attempts to regain his comcdic glory. Not since Spaceballs has he been able to do it, and this one is no exception. Brooks just rehashes old jokes that were funny when he used them the first time but lose something when they're done over and over again. Finally, we have Arnold Schwarzeneggar's Last Action Hero, The story of a boy whose -fcbruarp 18,1994 dreams of being in an action film come true when a magical ticket throws him head-first into the movie he is watching. This movie had a lot of potential--the idea was interesting, and different-but the writing was horrible. This was the first film that Schwarzeneggar has had an important part in the pro duction of, and that's unfortunate for him. They should have known the film was doomed from the be ginning when after a viewing by one of Hollywood's preview audi ences, they were forced to re-shoot some scenes and re-edit others, a mere one week before it was to released. So who's the winner? This is probably a tougher choice to make than who should be nominated. But if a choice must be made, the Mighty Ishtar Award goes to (drum roll please), Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Sorry Mel. Hopefully you'll have better luck with your next picture. So there you have them, this year's winners of the annual Mighty Ishtar Awards. See you next year.
The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.)
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Feb. 18, 1994, edition 1
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