Newspapers / The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.) / Sept. 16, 1994, edition 1 / Page 11
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September 16,1994 With Roger Nebel Campus Security MINUTE INTERVIEW / * „ ~ f % % ••• Nebel Guilfordian: Hi, Roger, this is Washington Irv ing at The Guilfordian. We were wondering if we could do a 5-minute interview with you. Roger: Um....great. Okay....Uh, yeah. (Long pause) Sure. Guilfordian: So you have a second? Roger: Is this one of the quote 5 minute inter views unquote? Guilfordian: Yes, it is. - Roger: Okay Go ahead. Guilfordian: Number one: How long have you been involved in security work? Roger: Since 1989. Guilfordian: In all that time have you ever en countered an offense as dangerous and malevolent as attempting to keep a small kitten on campus? Roger: Uhhhh....a small kitten? Guilfordian: A small kitten, yes. Roger: There was someone who had a large cat once. long pondering silence Guilfordian: Really? Roger: Yeah. Guilfordian: So, is that a higher level of offense? Roger: Well, it weighed more. Guilfordian: Did you have any bad or unfortu nate experiences with kittens as a small boy? Roger: A small boy, no. Guilfordian: What about as a large boy? Roger: Just the one in English. Guilfordian: Do you consider yourself a hateful man? Roger: Ummmm....Mean people suck. Guilfordian: ( puzzled) Mean people suck? silence FEATURES I File Photo Guilfordian: Allright. Can you imagine any threat to the community more severe than the liv ing, breathing kitten? Roger: Um a non-breathing, non-living kitten in one of the halls. Guilfordian: All right. If given the choice would you exterminate all kittens in one quick swift blow as in a giant gas chamber or would you prefer slowly torturing each individual kitten until each recognizes you as its sole Satan; O, Lord Protec tor of Guilford college Security? Roger: I think they could be re-educated. Guilfordian: If you encountered a small kitten on campus would you A) Shoot it dead immedi ately. B) Call in back-up. or C) grab the cat by the tail and violently throw it into a busy street? Roger: Of those choices I'd have to say call for back-up. ' J mm * s4. EL ,. %si" w BJIk a mil' - m jHfe?v ; • . .. AP* liaßr •• [ 0 Jay, the baby kitty cat Guilfordian: What's your favorite color? Roger: Uh, blue, no green. Guilfordian: Is it true you feed on small kittens? Roger: No, no, I feed small kittens. Guilfordian: Do you prefer your small kittens rare, medium, or well-done? Roger: There's relatively little that you can do to a cat that is done well. Guilfordian: Well, whatever. Thank-you. Roger: Okay, thank-you. (guiitflrfcan 11
The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.)
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Sept. 16, 1994, edition 1
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