The Guilfordian
April 10,1998
NBA headed downhill in a hurry
♦Who is going to watch the NBA's bunch of spoiled superstars once Michael Jordan retires?
BY ADAM LUCAS
Edltor-h-chlef
In the year 2005, the NBA stan
dard-bearer could be Latrell Sprewell.
Maybe you'll see Gatorade com
mercials with a catchy little jingle such
as, "If I could be like Latrell, I wanna
be I wanna be like Latrell."
It might not be as far-fetched as
it sounds.
Sooner or later, Michael Jordan is
going to retire. While it might not be
this year, as he has previously said, it
will certainly be some time in the next
three seasons. He is too proud a com
petitor to end his career as Dr. J did,
struggling to make a layup.
When Jordan leaves, where does
that leave the NBA?
Well, they'll always have
Korleone Young, the high-schooler who
declared for the draft this week. Short
of that, however, they've got Grant Hill
and a bunch of guys that can't make a
20-foot jump shot.
Name almost any marquee player
in professional basketball and the first
thing that jumps to mind is not points or
rebounds, but misdemeanors or felo-
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mes.
Chris Webber? He's been in
trouble with the police before, and this
week he found himself and teammate
Juwan Howard accused of sexual as
sault.
Allen
Iverson?
He likes to
call him
self "The
Answer,"
but it's not
entirely
clear what
the ques
tion is.
Maybe it's,
"Who is
one of the
Short of Hill, Jordan, and
a few other choice citizens —
most of whom are aging out of
the league very rapidly—the
NBA's superstars are a
spoiled, undesirable bunch.
few NBA players that actually started
on their criminal record before entering
college?"
The list goes on and on, but the point
is clear. Short of Hill, Jordan, and a few
other choice citizens —most of whom
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Sports
are aging out of the league very rap
idly—the NBA's superstars are a
spoiled, undesirable bunch.
The game they play isn't much
better. Hey, if you like to be pick
and-rolled to death, then the NBA is
The reality is that if zones were
allowed, those coaches pulling down
million-dollar salaries might actually
have to draw up an original play.
It sounds harsh, but it's true.
Valpo's Homer Drew formulated a
game-winning play in the NCAA Tour
nament that was executed to perfec
tion by his players.
Meanwhile, in the NBA, Phil
Jackson is hailed as a Zen master for—
this is going to shock you —finding a
way to win with Michael Jordan and
Scottie Pippen on his team. Imagine
that. Against all odds, Jackson has dis
covered that winning is possible if two
of the top 20 players of all time are on
your team.
This is not to say that the NBA is
entirely without merit, however. In the
playoffs, it actually makes for pretty
good theater. Even the most petty
whiner —er, we mean player—puts
aside his salary demands and tries his
best.
Things may even get interesting
in the post-Jordan era, when teams
other than Chicago have a chance at
the world championship.
Of course, their games will be in
terrupted by commercials singing, "Like
Latrell, if I could be like Latrell..."
the league for
you.
Other
wise, though,
you're better
off watching
Arena football.
The
league likes to
say that they
don't allow
zone defenses
in order to in
crease offense.
15