UMUMUM Doss Attempts Bryan Hall Putsch Casey Creel Der Freiheitsverteidiger Vice President for Enrollment and Campus Life Randy Doss unsuccessfully tried to take over the school last Mon day when he and a group of armed storm troopers entered Bryan Audito rium, jumped onto a table, fired two shots into the air, and told the audi ence that "the long-awaited Guilford Putsch has begun! This is the Revolu tion!" Doss then took other Guilford ad ministrators into a back office, where he told them he was now the leader of Guilford, and offered them posts in his new government. The three administrators present, £ 10% OFF \ GUILFORD XPiy&l/ COLLEGE \Jz£~J msm RKUUY tfINF *WeSer Pizza By-Ti Beer" Wine "feodias Mm Gsriw Owing 1531 Nm ferfet Roid-ftwoixro, NC TH* (336)316-1119 1 FAJC(336!31^1131 cTa^ite Associate Academic Dean Jim Hood, Vice President for Institu tional Advancement Charlie Patterson, and Dean of CCE Bill Stevens, were initially reluctant to agree to the offer, a source in the administration says. However, Doss was furious and threat ened to shoot them and then commit sui cide. "I have three bul lets for you, gentlemen, and one for me!" Doss exclaimed. The three men then agreed. Chief Financial Officer Phil Manz ar rived soon thereafter. Manz has made statements in the past that indicate he sympathized strongly with Doss' claims that the recent decline of the college is due to communists, socialists, anar chists, fascists, terrorists, bureaucrats, and bolsheviks. Manz agreed to become head of the Guilford Army in Doss' regime. While Doss was appointing college ad ministrators, Marion Kerby, Director of Ath letics and leader of a group of storm troopers, seized Founders Hall. Reports that the combatants then ar rested known leftists Max Carter and Jerry Goddard could not be confirmed by press time. Doss had planned to march from Founders to New Garden and seize con trol of the college, but surprisingly had not arranged for storm troopers to take control of Hege Library, where Academic Dean Adrienne Israel soon got word of the uprising and called the Greensboro il > liMI Achtungl With his coup d'etat underway, Doss takes a minute to enjoy the promise of the power so long denied him by "Consensual Bolshevists" and the "Quaker Conspiracy." Police Department. The storm troopers found the road blocked at Quakerplatz, where several GPD officers had assembled. The two sides engaged in gunfire when Doss, according to eyewitnesses, threw himself to the ground, dislocat ing his shoulder. He then ran to a nearby car. Although the Greensboro Police were outnumbered, the storm troop ers followed their leader's example and ran away. " April 11, 2003 Supporters of Doss say he left the scene so quickly because he had to rush an injured young boy to the lo cal hospital. After hiding in an abandoned classroom in King, Doss was arrested Wednesday and is now awaiting trial before the Judicial Board, said to be largely sympathetic to his cause. Doss said he is writing his ac count of the fight while in prison, ten tatively titled "My Struggle." Page 14