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GREENSBORO, NC
Everyday lower standards
Matt Haselton
L Forum Editor
ast June, National Public
Radio ran a four-part series on
Wal-Mart, following its evolution
from a small town company com
mitted to being "good and fair"
with its workers, to an interna
tional corporation committed to
being cheap above all else.
This year, Wal-Mart paid an
undisclosed amount in order to
become an NPR paid sponsor.
This entitles them to be recog
nized by NPR as an underwriter
of certain programs and as a cor
poration that provides "jobs and
opportunities for millions of
American of all ages and walks
of life." Wal-Mart will also award
$500,000 in scholarships to eth
nic-minority journalism students
at colleges of journalism at sev
eral national universities.
Now, I'd like a nice fat journal
ism scholarship as much as the
next unpaid student newspaper
editor, but I wouldn't use a
$2,500 dollar check from Wal-
Welcome, class of 20 0 8
Kathy OliYsr
-m- y Columnist
V V elcome to Guilford,
class of 2008. I know, you're not
in the mood. I completely under
stand. It's hot, your feet are killing
you, your hands are red and
swollen from lugging boxes all
day, the bookstore only has half
of your required texts, and you
have six CHAOS-related events
tomorrow. So far, college blows.
Well don't worry, for the next
few minutes you won't need to
force another bogus smile, shake
another sweaty hand, or tell any
one your name, hometown, or an
Mart for anything beside a paper of the NPR sponsorship is "to
airplane. A check from Wal-Mart reach community leaders and
would be made up of blood- help them understand the value
money: money that Wal-Mart we bring to their communities."
accumulated by paying its work- Roughly translated, this means
ers four to 10 dollars less per Wal-Mart would like it very much
hour than their unionized com- if community leaders around the
petitors at Safeway, exploiting nation would no longer prevent
illegal immigrants, buying 10
percent of all Chinese I
exports, and allegedly starting I
a price war in Germany in I
2000 by illegally selling items I
below their wholesale costs.
Wal-Mart's recent giving
spree is not an act of philan
thropy. It a juggernaut's
attempt to buy redemption in I
the eyes of the public. Unlike I
Andrew Carnegie's libraries, I
created out of an obligation I
felt by the steel giant to give I
away his fortune before he I
died, Wal-Mart's donations I
are self-serving. Wal-Mart is I
both conducting damage con-1
trol and investing in its own PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY KEVIN BRYAN
future. Wal-Mart from building stores in
A Wal-Mart spokesperson their communities, and they think
acknowledged that the purpose that attaching "Wal-Mart" to the'
interesting fact about yourself.
Just kick back and relax and con
sider the advice offered in □
Kathy's Survival Guide for Your
First Weeks at Guilford (What
You Won't Learn From Any of the
Brochures or Letters That They
Send Home □ )
Dorm Life: Don't like your
roommate? Talk to your RA
before the room-change period.
If you aren't happy with your
assigned bunk-buddy, chances
are they don't like you either.
Sure, relocating all your stuff
sucks, but sharing a 12x12 room
with someone you hate is worse.
Food: Invent a digestive disor
FORUM
der, get a doctor's note, and bring
it to campus life immediately. The
food could be a lot worse, but the
meal plan is about as bad as it
gets. If you haven't yet, you will
soon start finding takeout menus
under your door. Use them.
Sex: Sex is great. Sex with con
doms is better. I don't care if
she's on the pill or if he says he's
clean. It's not worth the risk.
Don't be a dumbass; and yes, it
can happen to you.
Recreational *ahem* refresh
ments: Heed the advice of your
elders, whatever it may be. It
doesn't matter how well you had
the system mastered back home,
AUG 20, 2004
WWW.GU I LFORDIAN.COM
preferred radio programming of
said leaders is the way to do this.
Likewise, I have the sneaking
suspicion that Wal-Mart is effec
tively "buying stock" in minority
journalists through its scholar
ships. Let's wait a decade or so,
and see if we don't have promi
nent national reporters smiling
at the camera and telling us how
they'd never be where they are
today if it weren't for "Wal-Mart's
proven commitment to giving
back."
I'd rather see Wal-Mart give
back to its employees, rather
than aspiring journalists or NPR.
( Perhaps Wal-Mart could start
! paying competitive wages, stop
discriminating against women,
and allow its workers to union
ize. Or maybe they could give
back to the communities by no
longer undercutting the prices of
local competition and stealing
their employees. In my home
'town, Wal-Mart recruiters posed
as customers to lure salespeople
away from a local
Continued on next page
it looks really bad when you get
busted for making one stupid mis
take.
CHAOS: Keep your pajamas
on, lock your door, and play video
games until classes begin.
Politics: For the love of God,
make sure you know what you're
talking about before you open
your mouth. People here will eat
you alive.
Political Correctness: Forget
about it. You're at Guilford now -
there's no such thing anymore.
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