Page Four.
THE SALEMITE
Saturday, January 14, 1928.
Gleaned From
Freshman Exams
“In case of Fire Drill, the stud
ents should go down the inside of
the wall.”
“Freshmen may use the neigh
boring drug stores from 8:30 to
9:00.”
“Xo visiting is prohibited during
quiet hours on Sunday.”
“In fire drill the students are to
march out in their assigned places,
and quietly without speaking a
word they are to march back in in
the same order.”
“Quite hours are from 7:15 to
“A Freshman may attend theatri
cal performance other than a nti
with a faculty chaperon, oi
‘grown up’.”
“In fire drill do not walk
double file and walk away from
walls on the stairs.”
Grades? Pooh!
ew York (By Xew Student
Service)—Deciding that sororities
arc social and not scholastic organi-
ons, the inter-sorority council of
y York State College for Teach-
has abolished all scholarship re
quirements heretofore requisite to
election. Beginning immediately,
any girl may be elected regardless of
her scholastic average. This change
in rules has the support of Presi
dent A. R. Brubaeher, who tliinks
“the main purpose of sororities is to
provide the best housing conditions
and the best possible social life.”
Scholarship is not expected to suf
fer, according to the council presi
dent. On the contrary, she believes
it is one of the duties of the living
organizations to try to bolster poor
scholarship among its members after
election. The university president
thinks that the wholesome home life
of the sorority may do much to re
habilitate the scholarship of persons
who have heretofore been outside
the pale. Scholarship requirements
have long been the chief of bugaboos
that haunt the college fraternities.
“Freshmen may have dinner
gagement in town on Saturday with
a senior for a chaperone.”
“A ‘Busy Sign’ is to be hung
the door to study.”
“You are not allbwed to
sleep, or make any other noise
hind a ‘Busy’.”
“Girls may ride with boys
limits without permission.”
HIKERS ENJOY AN
INVIGORATING WALK
On Saturday, January 7, a small
but enthusiastic group of girls s'
ed the New Year in the right, i
ner by going on the hike,
cold, invigorating air made brisk
walking necessary. Ardmore was
soon reached and the community
grocery store was raided by >the
hungry girls. After an afternoon
of fun and recreation the girls
turned to the campus tired but
freshed.
These delightful hikes are c
ducted every Saturday afternoon
from the back porch of Main Hall
at four o’clock. Girls who are un
able to participate in the more ac
tive phases of sports at Salem will
find these hikes to be a good oppor
tunity for recreation and fun. Oth
er students who love to walk for
, the joy of it will find congenial and
happy companions on these hikes.
Hey you—your gun isn’t load
ed.”
“Can’t help it; bird won’t wait.”
Conductor: “How old is the little
girl.?”
Child: “Mother, I'd rather pay
the fare and keep my age to my
self.”—Humorist.
JOKES
Teacher: “In what battle did Gen
eral Wolfe, when hearing of victory,
cry, ‘I die happy’?”
Class Dimce: “I think it was his
last battle.”
S. S. Teacher: “Now, Willie, what
happens to a man who never thinks
of his soul, but only of his body?”
Willie: “Please, teacher, he getf
fat.”
An Irishman was seated in
train beside a pompous angli
garbed a la catalogue and accompan
ied by a dog.
“Foine dog ye have,” remarked
Pat sociably. “Phwat kind is :
“A cross between an Irishman and
an ape,” was the surly reply as the
angler edged away.
“Sure,” 'said Pat cheerfully,
“Sure, an’ it’s related to both av
So the absent-minded professor
opened up his bed, and jumped
the window.—Cornell Widow.
“Hey, d’ya know Ida?”
“Ida who?”
“I dunno.”—Ohio State Sun Dial.
“Whats an Amateur Gentleman?”
“One that prefers bleached
blondes.”—Illinois Siren.
The man who brags, “I run things
in my house,” usually refers to the
lawn-mower, washing machine, vac
uum sweeper, baby carriage and er-
FISHER’S
DRY CLEANING
;14 West Fourth Street
“W. D. T. Br
(We Do the Best)
CO.
WelfafPlace for Salem
College Girls — Just
around the Corner.
BOCOCK-STROUD CO.
Athletic Outfitters for Salem College
481 Trade Street
Phone 3042
I Books Fountain Pens Diaries
I Kodaks, Victrolas & Records, Leather Goods
WATKIN’S BOOK STORE
FOR PHOTOGRAPHS OF QUALITY
Mother—In my day we never
thought of doing such things.
Flapper—Well, don’t you wish
lu had?
She: “Is it dangerous to drive
th one hand?”
He: “You bet it is. More than
le fellow has run into a church
doing it.”—Cornell Widow.
Mistress: “The master was
happy this morning, Jane. He went
off to the city whistling.”
Jane: “Yes, mum, it was my
take—I made his porridge of bird
seed !”—Passing Show.
Jones, awaiting enrollment, gave
his occupation as “Mason and Build-
Murphy, next in line, said,
“Knights of Columbus and Brick-
Moll Cassidy: “Shure Pat, I had
a certificate ov karacter, but I lost
it coming over. Phwat shall I do
Pat Murphy: “Niver moind, Mol-
y; I’ll write ye wan.”
And this is what he wrote:
“This is to certify that Molly Cas-
lidy had a good karacter before .she
left the ould counthry, but losht it
shipboard coming over.”
Teacher: Why do you think that
Caesar was killed by a woman?”
Boy: “Oh, when he was stabbed
he cried out, ‘You Brutess’.”
—Queens Blues.
She:: “Oh, really?”
He: “Yes, you are a little pigeon-
Candle: “Haven’t I met y(
some place before?”
Flame: “Possibly; sometimes I a
a little careless where I go.”
She: “You must be very fond of
automobiles.”
He: “What makes you think
that?”
She: “I hear you have a truck
“What is a detour?”
“The roughest distance between
two points.”
Him—“I-I-I 1-1-love y-y-you
Her—“Say it again!”
Him“M-my gosh! I-I-I said it
t-three t-t-times tlie first t-t-tim
I often pause and wonder.
At P'ate’s peculiar ways.
For nearly all our famous m
Were born on holidays.
“Sambo, where yo’ all gwine
such a rage?”
“All’s gwine to git dat doctah what
sewed up mah operation with white
thread.”
Mrs. Nut (handing her husband a
saucerful of white powder) : “John,
taste that and tell me what you
think it is.”
John: “Baking soda.”
Mrs. Nut: “That’s what I told
Bridget. She declares it is rat
son. Taste it again to make si
The wife of Bill Simpkins h
presented him with triplets, thi
bouncing boys, and his boss cc
gratulated him heartily on the event.
The next day he was called into the
office and with much ceremony hand
ed a silver cup in recognition of the
triple blessing he had bestowed
upon his country. Simpkins re
ceived the gift in a rather embar
rassed fashion, and turning to
employer, said: “Thank you
much, sir. But-er-is this cup i
now, or do I have to win it three
years in succession?”
Prof. Brown (at the teleuhone):
“Whats that? You can’t catch
name)? Spell !t? '.Certlainly.
for Brontosaurus; R for Rhizophor-
acae; O for Ophisthotelae; W for
Willugbaeya, and N for Nucfraga.”
An Oklahoma girl advertised for
I husband and jandejd one i
cry short time. The advertisement
ost $8. She paid the wedding
>enses, $9. In less than a year
husband died, and left his widow
1,000 insurance policy.
Now, will you admit that it pi
advertize ?
Grandma: “Oh, Mary, darling, I
a surprised! Aren’t you going to
give your brother part of your ap-
“I’m never going to get married.”
“Why?”
“Because you have to have six-
;en wives. It says right in the mar
riage ceremony; four better, four
M'orse, four richer, four poorer—
and four times four are sixteen.”
ber of the faculty had palmed olf
onto the University his home for a
price far,beyond its worth. Dean
Hart was chairman of a faculty
■ommittec that recommended the
purchase of his residence for $1.'),-
000, to be used as the new Rocke
feller International House. The
Rabzerry Press insisted that the
dean’s house was valued at $20,000,
and suggested that the academician
had made a nice deal. President W.
W. Campbell, denied the insinua
tions, and said the price had been
fixed by appraisers. He then pro
ceeded to threaten censorship for
the outspoken paper, and punish
ment for the editors involved.
Modern Girl (telephoning home at
3 a. m.): “Don’t worry about me,
Mother. I’m all right. I’m in jail.”
m says: “A wife, when she
plores a hu.sband’s pockets usually
gets what all explorers get—enough
laterial for a lecture.”
usic Teacher: “Who can tell m
the national air of Italy?”
Bright Boy—“Garlic.”
There once was a man not unique
Who imagined himself quite a shiqu
But the girls didn’t fall
For the fellow at all—
He made only twenty a wique.
“D’ye see that fellow over there
He’s got population of the heart.”
“You mean palpitation of the
heart, don’t you?”
“I said population. He’s a Mor
mon.”—Darmouth Jack O’Lantern.
Arriving home from the party, the
wife confronted her husband:
“I’ll never take you to another
party as long as I live,” she fumed.
“Why?” he asked in amazement.
“You asked Mrs. Jones how her
husband was standing the heat.”
“Well?”
“Why, her husband has been dead
for two months!”
Sooner or later, originality back
of a steering wheel gets festooned
with flowers.
“Anything more, sir,” said the
waitress, approaeliing a customer
from beliind. “I mean madam
beg your pardon, sir.”
WORLD YOUTH CONGRESS
To study the causes of war and
heir elimination, and to focus the
attention of youth on agencies deal
ing with the problem of war, the
first World Youth Peace Congress
will be held August 17 to 26, at
Eerde, Holland. Youth, in this case,
is interpreted to mean persons un
der 30 years of age. Five hundred
delegates will be at the congress,
three liundred and fifty from Eu
rope, one hundred from the Ameri
cas, and fifty from Asia, Africa and
Australia. Of the American hun
dred, eighty will represent the
United States. An American com
mittee on the congress will pass on
applicants from tlie United States.
All information may be had from
the American Committee, World
Youth Congress, 104 East Ninth St.
—The New Student.
Oh. chemist of skill, investigate—
Answer this quiz of mine:
I think I know where Carbonate—
But where did Iodine?
‘Dat baby of you’s,” said M:
Jackson, “am dc puffect image of
his fahthah.”
“Yas,” answered Mrs. Johnson,
“He am a reg’lar carbon copy.”
Two men who traveled were eo
paring their ideas about foreign c
the
“London,” said tlie or
tainly the foggie.st plac
rorld.”
“Oh no, it’s not,” said the other,
I’ve been in a place much foggier
than London.”
‘Where was that?” asked his in-
L-sted friend.
‘I don’t know where it was,” re
plied the second man, “it was so
foggy.”
PLAIN TALK
Two students at the University of
California, Fred C. Foy, editor of
the Daily California, and Brooks
Darlington, president of a journal-
society, have been subjected to
presidential discipline for suggest
ing that high finance may not be
unknown on a university campus.
The Daily Californian gave impetus
by a news item to a charge developed
in Razberry Press, vermillion hued
;>rgan of the journalists, that a mem-
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