Page Two.
THE SALEMITE
Saturday, November 14, 1931
The Salemite
Published Weekly by the Student
Body of Salem College
SUBSCRIPTION PRICE
$2.00 a Year :: lOe a Copy
EDITORIAL STAFF
Kditor-in-Chief Elizabeth Gray
Managing Editor Phyllis Noe
Associate Editor Isabelle Hanson
Associate Editor Margaret Long
REPORTERS
Martha Binder
Mary Penn
Mary Drew Dalton
Lucy Gulick-Rogers
BUSINESS STAFF
Business Manager .. Mary AHce Bei
Advertising Mgr Edith Claire Leake
Asst. Adv. Mgr Martha Bothwell
Asst. Adv. Mgr- Grace Pollock
Asst. Adv. Mgr Mary Sampl
Asst. Adv. Mgr Isabelle Pollock
Asst. Adv. Mgr Emily Mickey
Asst. Ad. Mgr. Mary Catherine Siewers
Circulation Mgr Sarah Horton
Asst. Circ. Mgt Ann Shuford
Asst. Circ. Mgr. Rachel Bray
“LITTLE THOUGHTS FOR
THE DAY”
{Thanks due to Dr. Anscombe)
“Eighteen of the thirteen colonies
“Samson w^s born under the
dition that he should never shave liis
head.”
“The crown only passes through
a mail line.”
“Privileges of the clergy: Free
dom from marriage.”
“All the harbors of any value are
along the coast, and there are many
such harbors.”
“F'vents during Reign of Henry
VIII: Was sick during period of
Henrv VIII.”
“Henry VIII married a number of
women because he wished to have
male son.”
“Mohammed believed that there
was no (jod but God and that Mo
hammed was his brother.”
“Explain, ‘the king can do no
wrong’: He does not have enough
rights to do wrong.”
“William II was found dead while
hunting with an arrow in his heart.”
“The English Parliament can do
ai^pst everything except turn a man
intv a woman or a woman into a
“A grasshopper is divided
three parts, posterior, anterior and
“Solomon had four hundred wi
and three hundred porcupines.”
“In writing conversation you put
each person in a different para
graph.”
“Space between bones is filled
with mucilige.”
“It is the duty of the governor
to beg all pardons and fill all the
seats in the House.”
JUDY
Who, who has not seen that little
black ball of fur scampering blithe-
fully around the campus and playful
ly tugging away at a chance shoe
string or pursuing some victim and
attacking his lower limbs W'ith suffi
cient force to completely knock him
off his feet or cause such antagonism
that a swift kick is given the trouble
maker.
But of course I know you have
seen this little scamp for is she not
the very life and joy of Salem C
lege ? Ah, yes, me ! Who, you say:
Well, a little love of a cocker span
iel.
Now you canine lovers having been
properly introduced to our little pet,
hear the history of said animal. Two
years ago Judy, the designated title,
was born in Philadelphia. You have
always heard about Philadelphia be
ing historically famous and just now
the reason was revealed to you. Wh;
oil why, could not Winston-Salem,
or any other thriving city, have th
great honor bestowed upon it—being
called by historians, “The birthplace
of Judy, in the year of our Lord,
1929.” I5ut no—Philadelphia it is.
So weep if you will but read on you
must!
To' New York Judy went with a
side partner named Punch. (No you
match-makers, there was no
mance.) But, hold, the climax of
this touching story awaits you!
This loving pup traveled later
with Miss Foreman, a beloved fac
ulty member of Salem College.
Thank your stars, you lovers of the
mighty, for had not Judy come
member of our faculty we would have
been deprived the unspeakable pleas
ure of knowing and yes, loving
Judy. I might say, “dear Judy.” I
will say, “dear Judy.”
It cannot be said that we ndmi:
no-accounts. For listen if you wil
kind people, to the tastes, plea
ures and honored positions to which
Judy aspires. Firstly (I love that
word, correct or not, because it adds
such color, think not so?) Miss Judy
(May I call you Miss.^) has for her
itinerary Durham and Asheville, her
favorite places, if you please! And
secondly, Judy (becoming more
formal) is a member of the Home
Economics Club at Asheville. And
lastly, this lovely black haired dam
sel has for her favorite sports—
squirrel and cat hunting (a little
up, I’d call it).
But, my dears, let me tell you!
had an unfortunate experience with
a cat this past summer. Oh, this
killing me! She met a eat named
Ophelia and he nearly ruined her by
scratching her (he done her wrong!)
But, alack and alas, she has for
gotten that little adventure and' her
ambition, which takes up a good
deal of time, is to learn to climb
trees and chase squirrels.
If I tell you a secret, you won’t
tell? Well, Mr. Curlee, me thinks,
is an ardent admirer (I blush!)
And now to end a delightful nar
rative such as this with a sad
thought is almost too much for
but I am doomed. I see no other
way but to tell you. So courageously
she states, “Judy is having her ton
sils removed.” Flow'crs, fellow-suf-
erers, may be sent to the Book Store
and black-eyed susans are preferred.
Not being particular but a case of
knowing one’s own mind.
The Y. W. C. A. is still continu
ing the campaign for funds and
along with the subscriptions various
plans of raising money have been
planned.
Christmas cards will be sold which
are most attractive, having the
“Salem” seal on them. They will be
sold at a very low price and everyone
is urged to buy these Christmas
cards. Do not select any others
Checque and Double Checque
The hitherto happiest couple in
Frankfort was not so happy, Janie
and Dale Hunter were as far apart
as the narrow seat of the taxi,
slinging words to left and right with
undue accuracy, and engaging in a
revolution that would make the Rus
sian affairs look sick.
“And furthermore, Dale Hunter,”
cried his wife, “its my own personal
business if I want to put my checques
in butter dishes. Just because I
forgot where I put the last one you
needn’t think you can tell me where
to put this one.”
“But, Janie, the safe—”
“Fiddlesticks” and Mrs. Dale
Hunter alighted swiftly and trailed
her skirts up the flagstone walk to
their home.
The old clock in the hall was strik
ing four when the latch key turned
in the lock. A bad time for a red
headed woman with a corresponding
temper to be coming in at odds witli
her husband. The situation was nol
One small light burned in Dale’s
dressing room up stairs, one lone
inhabitant stood in the middle of the
floor surrounded by a confusion of
odds and ends.
“Well,” said the lone inhabitant
to himself, “the family’s returning.
I’d better go; too bad I can’t speak
to them; I’ll bet they’re nice; they
’ave such nice stuff.” And he pre
pared to go, picking up gold bottle
tops and curious knicknacks that
happened to strike his fancy.
Janie gave one glance toward the
door, then prepared for bed.
“Maybe Dale was right,” she
thought, “I’ll just go in and tell him
I’m sorry,” and crossing the room,
she tried the knob. The'door was
locked so she called softly. “Dale,”
no answer, “Dale, Dale,” still no
answer.
“So she thinks I’m Dale,” thought
Alfred and he continued to pick his
boot with greatest care,
Janie thus enraged by the seeming
insult roved around the room like a
my own house, make me humble my
self before him, then not pay any
attention, the worm !” A good sized
pillow hit the door and Alfred
jumped back involuntarily.
“My word she ’as a temper.”
The front door banged; a snap
and the light went on in the hall
down stairs. So that was Dale, just
coming in, not the man in this room.
Who was he then, a burglar? More
than likely; cold shivers ran up
and down her spine. A burglar
locked in the same room with her
thousand dollar checque there in an
old butter dish. She would pre
tend she didn’t know he was a burg-
"Dale” she cried, “there’s a burg
lar downstairs,” and for no earthly
reason whatsoever she suddenly re
membered where the other checque
was. Janie thought she would let
him have that; it was just a hundred
dollars.
“Dale,” she cried again “there’
burglar dow’nstairs.”
“A burglar,” repeated Alfred to
himself “ ’ow queer.”
“And when you come out c
through the other rooih and get my
hundred dollar checque out of the
old warming pan in there.” Just
then Dale entered the room.
“Oh,” said Janie, “I’ve been
frightened; a burglar has been
the other room.”
What, a burglar?” and grabbing
a chair. Dale smashed in the door
to his dressing room. It was in dire
confusion, everything was topsy-tur
vy and the little safe in the corner
of the room stood open empty. But
scarcely giving this a thought, Janie
ran to the old butter dish and
snatched off the top. There was
nothing there, it was gone.
“Oh Dale, my checque—”
“Never mind dear, it’s all right. I
found it when I started out and
didn’t have time to put it in the safe,
so I just dropped it into that old
warming pan in the other room.”
Alfred had long since departed,
one thousand, one hundred dollars
richer than he had entered.
IP € IE ¥ IR y
AUTUMN
A rushing, whistling, chilling wind.
The heavens-banked with somber
A gray, a lifeless color. Look,
A lone bird, winging up on high,
A little late in its southward trend;
At last it disappears from sight,
Gone—to the warm lands farther on
Where trees are green, not gold as
Now grass once green has turned to
brown.
And earth is heaped with dying
leaves
Of different liues—a desolate sight.
The cliill winds whisper midst the
—Mary Drew Dalton.
THE SEASONS
Spring, the hushed awakening of all
earthly things;
Summer, the glowing beauty of the
full-blown rose;
Autumn, the golden majesty of the
towering trees;
Winter, the long-awaited sleep be
neath the snows.
—Mary Drew Dalton.
MAN-MAKING
We are blind until we see
That in the human plan
Nothing is worth the making if
It does not make the man.
Why build these cities glorious
If man unbuilded goes?
In vain we build the work unless
The builder also grows.
—Edwin Marleham.
REFLECTIONS IN SILVER
poetry but a silver
Out of whose shiny depths
A tribe of crude and thirsty men
May drink a few clear drops of crys
tal thought?
Drops of sweet wine.
Alive,
All bubbling, sparkling with the
Laughing with the ecstasy of love.
Drops of summer rain.
Prismatic
Casting tints and lights from nature
caught;
Splashing all the color from above
Into a silver spoon.
Tear drops
For men grow tired soon
Of love
And swee'test wine.
Unless they mix with it a taste of
bitter wine.
So poetry is but a silver spoon.
In which a weary tribe of worldy
-May always find
Cool drops.
To quench their thirst
And give them strength to start out
once again.
—Cortlandt Preston.
OUR DEEDS
Our deeds still travel with us from
afar.
And what we have been makes us
—Anonymous.
“THE BEST OF THE
NEWS”
Oh, what wouldn’t we give for
some dough?—The Nizam of Hy
derabad, one of the richest men in
the world, paid several days ago, one
million bucks for wives for his two
sons. Although he has bushels of
jewels and bullion galore, he con
siders himself too poor to afford more
than one wife, in spite of the fact
that his father before him had 500!
Well — anyhow, money does do
some good. In Boston last Monday,
Thomas Ward, 18, and Joseph
Regele, 14, tossed a coin to decide
whether to be good or bad. It came
good, so the two boys marched into
the police station .ind handed in two
pistols!
We ^wonder how all the sleepy
heads of Salem (in other words,
most of the college), would like
this? A man in Adria, Italy, just
to prove that he could do it, stayed
in bed 10 years continuously. He’s
70 years old now and says he feels
more robust and cheerful than ever,
after his prolonged rest.
Not changing the subject by any
means, but we just happened to
come across a nice means of getting
a divorce. Mrs. Thomas A. Jones of
Los Angeles obtained one from her
husband several days ago by stating
that Mr. Jones would drive as close
as possible to another car without
hitting it and then slap her if she
screamed !
While we’re speaking of marriages,
we see where Eva Bedard of Provi
dence, Rhode Island, had only to
change one letter of her name when
she married Amede Berard.
Jumping from bad to worse, we’ll
talk about deaths now. James Dick
inson, slightly intoxicated, asked
his close friend George Mornett, also
lit, to shoot at a bottle which he
placed on his head. Unfortunately
the state of the two gentlemen pre
vented the William Tell trick to
function and James wa» shot thru
the head.
Little Joe Miskins of Worchester
became intrigued with parachute
jumping and decided to try it out
for himself the other day. He stole
the family umbrella, opened it on
the second floor porch of his house
and jumped. He made a perfect
one point landing but sprained his
ankle in doing so.
A family of Dearbon, Illinois, re
turned home after a visit to Ridge-
well, Illinois, leaving their cat with
friends. A few days ago the cat ar
rived home after walking a distance
of 228 miles!
In Evanston, Illinois, last week.
Lambda Alpha Chi fraternity mem
bers refused to prosecute students
who had been arrested on charges of
stoning 20 windows in their new
frat house, for the simple reason
that “it was just a house-warming.”
PARAGRAPHICS
If anybody doubts the literary
merits of this Salemite issue, we
refer them to the qualities of the
New York “Daily Mirror.”
By the way, that certainly was
swell raisin bread we had the other
day. Ahem—(gentle hint).
“Hadley” is still wondering why
seniors are so hard-headed. We of
fer our sympathies to Hadley, Susie
Calder, and Maggie Holleman, our
gallant wounded on the field of
battle.
j.