Clip This Coupon Advertise Our Patronizers Winston-Salem., Friday, April 1st, 1932 HAPPY APRIL FOOL Seniors Entertain Frosh At Easter Egg Hunt Stark Tragedy Occurs as Popular Child Stumbles One of the most delightful enter tainments which has been given this year was the Easter Egg Hunt which the Seniors gave for the Freshmen last Saturday afternoon. Each Sen ior had three Freshmen under her care, and with great delight showed tliem around the campus. The Sen iors evidently had no trouble remem bering where they had hid the eggs. They (the eggs, not the Seniors) were all quickly found. The Sopho mores and Juniors, secretly env' were hanging from the windows watching each move that was made by the happy children. Little Margaret Wall was greatly pitied by the others when she let loose Bebe’s hand and fell, dropping her sucker and tearing her new blue hair ribbon. She received only a slight scratch on her left knee and is cxpected out of the infirmary sometime within the next few days. Virginia Nall was awarded the prize for finding the most eggs. DO YOU RECOGNIZE THESE PHOTOGRAPHS? Sophomores Are Rated The Most Intellectual Intelligence Tests’ Results Prove Othbr Classes Morons By recent intelligence tests given by Miss Foreman and Mr. McDon ald, the Sophomore Class was rated the most intelligent class at Salem College. Those left behind are the Senior, Junior, and Freshman classes. This announcement came as a com plete surprise to many girls not in the famous Sophomore Class, but it was fully expected and approved of by the entire faculty. The class, on account of this remarkable rating, will be given Senior privileges be ginning May 15, 1933. Stupendous Crime Wave Sweeps Salem Campus Dalton and Brooks Are First Suspected by Detectives One of the most terrific cri waves that has ever been known si: the establishment of Salem Female Academy in 1772 is now sweeping over the entire campus. As yet the Student Police Force has not been able to break up the ring of gang sters. The first case reported was that of Mary Brooks. Miss Barrow with her keen piercing eyes, noticed that Mary paid little attention class and that she stared steadfastly at her feet which, due to the style return to nature, were greatly posed through the wide holes of her sandals and her toe-less hose. On ,’cstigation she found that Mary’s ;-nails were painted a vivid red- bird red. When questioned, Mary gave no explanation. Further delv ing into the case proved that the toe nails when thus painted served as mirrors, and instead of one reflection vere provided by this novel method. This crime seems to have direct association with names, for Mary Maynard was the next to be caught, —yes, caught in the act. She had a ‘Busy’ strung up on her boudoir door, but a Student Council Detective, sus pecting under-hand work, because of the supreme and prevailing quietness, entered to investigate. Much “top- toe” scheming has been going on. Famous Football Star Discovered On Campus Miss Sarah Graves Confirms Reports of Astounding Record From the confessions made in sleep, it has leaked out that Sarah Graves was a star football player during her high school career. While modesty is all right in its place, this star has, through pure ignorance, done herself and Salem an injustice by subduing her brutal strength and commanding football ways. Oh ! How long Salem has suffered defeats just because a center forward of Graves’ ability was lacking! Researchers found that this star’s speed chal lenged that of “Red” Granger’s when she started running toward the my’s goal and that in every game she never made less than four touch downs for the opposing team. Sports’ writers, although giving her credit for speed and clearness of di rection, have criticized Miss Graves rather unjustly, we feel. Old papers show that sport writers even had the audacity to criticize her for allowing the enemy too many “kick-ins.” 0ft- seems that she confused football with her minor sport, basketball, and n with tlie ball the minute she got in her hands, thus committing the ost serious foul in football, that of valking.” Of course, only a narrow-minded riter would criticize a player of iss Graves’ ability for confusing Many Foolish Wishes For a Very Foolish Day Supreme Excitement Reigns As National Holiday Arrives Once again, dear countrymen, we salute you on this bright, rainy morn ing. The rain falls in torrents, but the sun is high in the sky, so cheer up. Hallowe’en is just around the corner and hoop skirts are coming back in style! The lambs are gam bling on the green, and the bad little grasshoppers are hunting for weeds to lie down under. December is almost over, and the dawn is breaking up housekeeping. Coal is cheaper and The Wife of Bath is chaperoning Chanticleer and pertelote to Kernersville—and Bab hie and Rachel are wearing red but tons on their alsos to get their beauty sleep. School will be out in a minute, and the flagpole is wrestling with the snow storm. Just the other day I saw some body that asked me about you. He was chewing gum and flying a kite, as he rolled along in his Rolls-Royce. Do you know who he was ? He was very impressed when he saw you sleeping at the night club the other night. Look out—nothing’s going to get (Continued on Page Two) WINNERS OF PASSES The Secretary of State takes great pleasure in awarding the two annual passes to the follow ing what-nots for their excellent work on the committee of chalk- gatherers. These girls began their work no less than five minutes ago and have continued successfully for the past two years. The passes are good for two weeks on the Kress’s Limit ed from here to Walnut Cove. The honored winners are Miss Pearl Button of the Adi- torial Staff and Miss I. M. Sleepy of the Edvertising Staff.