Page 2.
THE SALEMITE
The Salemite
Local Erf,
F.DITOniAL STAFF
i-Chief Rhoda Horse
- Possum
Delia Cards
B. Frank
•e Editor..
BUSINESS STAFF
Business Manager Virginia Beach
Advertising Manager Ella Vator
Circulation Manager I. Phillip Space
4ss't Circulation Mgr....V, Takeup Room
CONTRIBUTORS’ CLUB
Dizzie Izzie
Coy Roy
Silly Lilly
Batty Atty
Cutie Curlee
Late Kate
Boreman Foreman
Handsome Andscoi
A LITTLE THING THAT
MAY BE A BIG THING
IN YOUR LIFE
Tliis edition of the Salemite is a
little thing in size, but is indeed a
big thing in the history of Salem
College. Much to our humiliation,
the Sophomore Class has descended
from its dignity to honor the general
public with a little bit of foolishness.
But even April fools have their ser
ious moments. This is mine. I should
like to tell you that the Sophomore
Class is proud to show you that we
can leave our studies for a while and
give you the benefit of our knowledge.
Not many of us are bold, and fewer
still are bad, but believe it or not,
we are all literary!
We wish to thank publicly Miss
Sarah Graves for allowing us to pub
lish this issue and to welcome to our
happy number Miss Martha Davis
from Meredith College and Miss
Beulah Wall from Winston-Salem.
They joined us at the beginning of
this last term, and have already
shown us that they have the true
Sopliomore Spirit. May we also
drink a toast to those of our number
who started oif with us in our Fresh
man year, but have since then left i
Here’s to you! Don’t think you’
forgotten. We often wish that you
were here with us. It is to you that
we dedicate this serious bit of fool
ishness—our own Salemite.
THINGS THAT HAPPENED
DURING EASTER
RACHEL CARROLL
SPEAKING
“What? No escalator between
Salem Academy and Salem College?
Why, honorable trustees, just think
its advantages to Salem. Of
course, it is foolish for me, and in
significant Freshman, to tell you
broad-minded men that an escalator
between the College and Academy
would speed up world activities —
why Jess Byrd could get herself and
all her golf clubs over to the Sister s
House in less time than it would take
to put her car in low gear. Too,
mite reporters could push the es
calator button and be at Salem Acad
emy in time to send the Associated
Press the latest Aea'demy news flash-
before sunrise.
‘Escalators would speed up time
and thought as well as world activi
ties. It is perfectly easy to see how
much faster watches run when the
wearer goes fast, and Salem’s esca
lator would be the fastest possible
purchase. Do you know how you
used to enjoy Crazy House and Mag
gie and Jiggs House at the county
fairs? Well, Salem students enjoy
ed them too. Why not give us a
chance to imagine ourselves going
through a crazy house—escalators do
make you feel crazy, don’t they? I
think that would be good brain ex
ercise too—making your thoughts go
back to childhood revelry.
“Speaking from a local point of
view, escalators would be a remedy
for those poor Academy victims who
have to march to expanded chapel.
If they could push a button instead
of pushing their high heels into hun
dreds of wooden steps. Dr. Rond-
thaler would not have to wait so long
for them to stop coughing in Y. P. M.
“Now, can’t we have an esca-
tor from Salem Academy to Salem
College?”
MANY FOOLISH WISHES
FOR A VERY FOOLISH
DAY
you. As a matter of fact, on page
67 you will find a list of the parts of
a crayfish.
Well, you have learned enough of
our secrets. Let’s get down to busi
ness. What we really want is foi
you to seriously consider asking the
dining room to give us beans for Sun
day dinner. Consider the green skirt.
Notice the lines thereof. The yellow
jacket rests on its imagination and
the clock beats my time.
Carroll: “Rosalie, why does
thousand leg worm have a thousand
LITTLE THOUGHTS FOR
TODAY
Haven’t our goldfish been here
long enough to move to the Sister’s
Aren’t we proud of Susan? She
won second place in the horse show.
(There were only two riding.)
Heaven help the ghost that rap
ped on Hadley’s door the other night
at 3 a. m. She went to receive her
caller armed with two shoes, one on
her right foot and the other in her
left hand. No, she wasn’t much
scared! Georgia hasn’t yet got over
her unwelcomed guest from three to
No wonder Ann Libba has had a
nervous break down. On March
eighteenth she practiced her music
lesson for the second time since
Christmas.
The Sophomore Class is seriously
considering opening a skating rink
in the basement of Alice Clewell for
the benefit of the Senior Class.
We wish somebody would give t
a party.
What do Edison and Rockefeller
have in common ? Ask Mary Kather
ine Thorpe.
How soon can we take the furni
ture in Alice Clewell to the Antique
Shop ?
What will the class of 1930 leave
as a gift to the school?
Did you have a nice time Easter i
(Don’t shoot!)
We have heard that Tree Planting
has been postponed on account of
financial reasons.
We have a Wee Blue Inn and
Green Room. Why not start
Lavender Lounging Room?
Why doesn’t Claudia laugh one
in a while?
It has been rumored that Marga
ret Wall borrowed Mary Virgi
hair pins.
Martha Davis, Senior, has filed
suit against Martha Davis, Sopho
more, for reasons not yet made pub
lic. We have heard that the former
was much embarassed when she
formed the Athletic Council that she
would be unable to be Swimming
Manager next year because she ph
ned to graduate.
ETHER WAVES
Where am I ? “Rah, Rah for
S-o-p-h-o-m-o-r-e-s. Fight to the
finish N-e-v-e-r g-i-v-e i-n.” . . .
Unfortunate am I— club footed,
blind and dumb. Gee! wonder what
a thoughtful brain looks like? I bet
Mr. Campbell knows. A mist gath-
!, then floats away .... Spring
comes ablooming. Be careful, you
what it’s made of me—It’s leap
year—'my fancy started turning and
it has kept it up.
Dear Allah, am I to be a chiro
practor after all, as the crystal told
;—skates you provided a lot of
fun, but now my hands are sore
from rubbing away someone else’s
aches. Oh ! the band drives me nuts
—faint shapes twirl by me in tor
rents—Sarah Lindsay’s hair is so
irly that I’m nauseated and Lib
Willis talks so fast that I’m ner-
. I live in torment—third floor
quiet that I want to holler, even
if I have to take it back—cross my
heart and hope to die. Who
throws rocks down the heat pipes
the infirmary — knock—bang—
knock. They’re tuning up for the
ass band. Allah. I’m most gone.
Gee! it’s a great life if you don’t
weaken, but who wants to be strong
vay—Mr. Curley. Where are all
those palms the Freshmen bought to
carry to church when they wore their
white dresses? Ask Mary Brooks.
see Judy Foreman’s new green
harness. Doesn’t she look cute?
Rich men and poor men shriek, but,
oh heck, give me a drug store shiek.
This weather makes me feel like a
nymph. Why couldn’t Venus have
granted me eternal sleep?
Then comes the question—Ah!
the life of Chaucer . . “Don’t know.”
“Couldn’t understand.” “Ah ! biting
sarcasm, thou do’st know your vic
tims.” .... Why in the world doesn’t
that Krazy Kat shut its mouth? Dear
young maidens who are contempla
ting matrimony, my advice is to use
hand bombs when wee ones muddy
the floor, or when Tommy spills ink
and Mary drops a tray of trailing
letters—it really works.
Betty Boone has seven little sis
ters and brothers. Oh, why in the
name of Confucius does the moon
have to include Salem in its itiner
ary? It’s such a waste of effort.
And with this my thoughts leave me
and my feeble brain collapses be
neath the waves.
Since Mr. Campbell’s recent lec
ture, girls really do their most serious
thinking right before they fill their
fountain pens.