Page 2.
THE SALEMITE
Wednesday, Nov. 30, 1932,
The Salemite
Meviher Southern Inter-Collegiate
Press Association
Published Weekly by the Student
Body of Salem College
SUBSCRIPTION PRICE
12.00 a Year ::
lOe a Copy
EniTORTAL
STAFF
Udito Ch f J
iseplime Courtney
Manarung fjxtitor .. Doj
■otliv Heidenreicli
Asso, / tt
ri Phillips
As.oc I It
1 t M Mullan
Uteri I I t
Susan Calder
Literi k 1 C
ourtland Preston
Local hduo-r
M tl Binder
Miuic r 1 t
M Ab.sher
Music h I
Rosalie Smith
Alum I I
... Elizabeth Gray
Sport Fit
... Margaret Long
Fentu F I t
... Sarah I.indsay
Featt F 1 t
Kathleen Atkins
Local Editor Meriam Stevenson
REPORTER
Cora Emmaline
Henderson
Lucy James
Lois Torrence
Celeste Mc.Clammy
Gertrude Schwalbe
Virginia Nall
BUSINESS STAFF
llunini'tia Manager Sarah Horton
Advertising Nanager Mary Sample
A>s't Adv. manager Ruth McLeod
Ass’t Adv. Manager .... Isabelle Pollock
Adv. Manager Grace Pollock
Ass’t Adv Manager Claudia Foy
Ass’t Adv. Manager .... Mary Delia Irvin
Asa’t Adv. Manager ... Margaret Ward
Cireulation Manager Tane Williams
Ass't Cir. Manager Sarah Jetton
Ain't Cir. Manager Mary Frances I^inney
LITTLE THOUGHTS j
FOR TODAY
COME WITH ME TO THE
HEIGHTS
Come with me to the heights,
And I will show you all of I.ife
and Beauty.
You will be thrilled with jov
divine;
You will be moved to run—to
Yes, and even to fly!
You will be filled to the brim
With love of living
Your soul will be near to burst
ing.
For it’s good to live!
Easter Souders-
IS THIS HOCKEY
Doe.s Ghilan Hall play hockey
with so much exuberance that when
she returns from the field .she has
to anoint her “tender white feet”
with Jergen’s Lotion? Is it a bit
])eculiar that Maria Garrett always
wants to play goal guard? No, she’s
only looking out for her knees to see
that they keep warm as the wind
rushes over the rolling plains—(?).
Is it customary when a person is
told to hit the ball which is coming
towards her at a terrific rate of
speed, to drop her stick, fling both
hands above her head, and yell
“O. K.”, as did Lucy Gulick Rogers?
When one plays in a hockey scrim
mage is it permissible to race down
the field with the stick over one’s
shoulder, not unlike a fugitive flee
ing from justice, as Mary Penn did?
Have hockey sticks turned into
wooden horses to be ridden by Jean
Burroughs and Rebecca Harrison ?
Are all referees as carefully timed to
blow their respective whistles simul
taneously as Susan Calder and Alice
Stough? Does “off-sides” mean to
clear the whole field and stand out
side as a group of spectators? Does
Margaret Ward’s head at all resem
ble a hockey ball ?
Whether or not these are facts,
figures, or rules, they have been
unanimously adopted by members
from all four of the classes of Salem
College.
This is fine, girls ! We knew you
were original all the time; keep it up,
and some day your originality may
prevail to such an extent that you
will liave a whole new game known
as “Skeeditanddaddle.”
PARAGRAPHICS
Congratulations and appreciation
for their work and achievement go to
Miss Atkinson, to Nina Way Credle,
to tlie teams and the subs. To the
rest of the glad hands to the winning
add another one. Nor do we forget
add another one. Nor do we forket
^liss Stockton!
It seems as if Thanksgiving yawns
will last until Christmas and Christ
mas sleepiness until mid-terms, when
black coffee may waken drowsy eyes.
And what is this we’re hearing
about the faculty members’ enter
taining each other by telling ques
tionable jokes at after-dinner coffee
Sunday afternoon. Students interest
ed should ask Mr. McEwen his fav
orite bovine joke, and faculty mem
bers wishing to be well-informed next
Sunday afternoon ? Students interest-
of Buccaneer from the second floor
of I.ouisa Bitting.
If a sufficient number of patrons
insist, the Salemite will publish a
list of birthdays for the benefit of
our dining-room singers! Plow un
fortunate are those who were born
in the summer!
THE ALL-HAILEM
VARSITY
Has anyone noticed the remark
able team that the Mickeys have
transported to “Ye Olde Hockey
Plole” on those notable occasions
when other teams have dared to meet
the valiant Seniors? The team as a
whole is so strong that the lack of
five or six of the eleven players is
scarcely noticed.
Of course, some few of the play
ers such as Noobie, Shocky, Baby,
Jo, the Mickeys, Katie, Mae or
Ghilan, are a little insignificant to
merit this press notice, and it is to
the indispensable players that w.
will raise our song. We humbly beg
to add tiiese congratulatory words ti
those columns in all the leading
newspapers devoted to the skilled
and farsighted hockey mind.? of our
local heroines.
Who will ever forget Tommye’s
debut? The ball was rushing to
ward her. She heard the shouts of
James and Julian. She must com
mand the respect of the ever-present
musical terms. Without a moment’s
hesitation she threw back her head
and warbled the opening measures
of Beethoven’s Concerto in B Flat.
Orpheus himself could not have done
better. The ball stopped entranced
and began to dance daintily from
side to side, disregarding all tJie
blows of hockey sticks. Tommye
had saved the day.
On the front line was Josephine
Salemite. After she had dropped a
curtsey and pirouetted once, with
toes pointed, she tripped toward the
ball. It was too much ! In a second
the ball had vanished.
Another time the ball was ap
proaching Wanna McHuggins. Her
mind was lost in a labyrinth of di
minished fifths and habeas corpuses.
The ball gazed into her eyes and
whispered, “Wajina !” The word re
called her from the depths of sixths
and sevenths, but the tone was so
loving that she did not have the heart
to stand in the way.
Can anyone ever duplicate the
skill shown by Louise Insights? It
was a critical moment. The crisis
was at hand, but she did not falter.
She stared into the face of the ball.
“Hold it for the time being,” she
cried. “Don’t move. Blink the lips
and wet the eyes. One . . . two
But once was enough. The ball had
fled.
Margaret Johnson, more familiar
ly known as Harmony Mag, ran up
to the ball and promised to show it
her baby niece. For tlie rest of tlie
game the ball followed devotedly by
her side. The charm had worked.
Here’s a hand. Harmony Mag.
Could the team exi.st without its
perennial six-footer? We dislike
mentioning it, but up to this time
Dorothy Mathematics has done little
to earn for herself a place in the
squad. Now, we are proud to say.
MUTTERINGS
“Just let me tell you about njj
t^usic lesson!”' expostulated Jezebel
as she flounced into Stella’s room anij
flung her weary bones on a rumpleij
bed.
Stella, wlio was slouched in a chai(
with her feel holding down the de.sl(
top, took another bite of half-rotten
apple and mumbled, “Quiet down
sister, while I give you the latest on
tile Reynold’s case.”
Little Jezebel’s spirits were not
to be downed so easily and she burst
in raptures while uttering non-coher-
ent phrases such as: “Very nice
scales; Oh! I love that man;—the
bass ought to go like Bum-de-de-
De-Bum;—Miss—, the only thing
wrong with that is the mistakes.”
Stella endured this until her over
wrought nerves completely collapsed
and she bellowed forth, “Shut up,
Jezebel. If you’re really interested
in a music lesson. I’ll give you an
earful. You should have heard me
singing along like I had some holy
inspiration. Yes sir, and my “ah”
and “O” exercises clicked off without
a single ‘try it once more, Mis.s—
Oh, Jezebel, he’s the cutest man! If
I knew as much as that man—
“You make me tired!” cut in
Jezebel. “Why, this morning he sat
and rocked during my whole lesson.
And when I played my new piece he
didn’t even tramp up and down the
floor. Now, just try and beat that,”
“Well, Jezebel,—I guess I’ll have
to tell you. I got a new German Sonj
this morning, and I’m to sing it next
time at Music Hour. Don’t you mind,
though. You’ll get to play before
year’s out.”
“Oh, come on, next, and let’s strike
out to the show. What I need is
she had paid all her back debts.
With an evil glint in her eye .she
strode toward the unprotected ball
and whispered something unprint
able about inflexional tangents and
fourth derivatives into the ball’s
horrified ear. Petrified by the threat
of waking some morning in a plus
or minus infinity, the ball followed
without wavering.
Merci Siewers, with customary
poise and ease walked majesticallv
to her position. In the presence ot
such cool sophistication the ball be
came embarassed. It blushed and
with shifting eyes sought a means of
escape to regain its composure.
All in vain ! Merci had given it an
inferiority complex.
And so, the Bitting Gazette takes
great pleasure in offering these
players as AIl-Hailem Varsity play
ers. We feel sure that their names
will go up in posterity (not in
smoke) as the hockey .stars of the
South.
I thank you!