WHAT IS i
I^HE LAW? I
WINSTON-SALEM, N. C„ SATURDAY, APRIL L 1933.
ZINNIAS DO GROW IN THE SPRINGTIME
Bean Yard ell Introduces
New Series Of Programs
Music Hour Features Modern
Shades of Salem tradition, where
art thou? Come, we beseech thee,
and exert tliy lawful influence on
our exalted by wayward dean of
music, for he has changed our stately
Thursday, four o’clock music hour
to a frisky jjamboree at four in the
I,ast Thursday, Bean Vardell
opened this interesting new series of
programs with a recital featuring a
number of modern classics, including
two of his own compositions. He was
ably assisted by Mr. Ernest Sehfield>
that heart-rending crooner who so
successfully introduced the “Hey-
no-nonny and a Hot-cha-cha” which
made “Houseboat on the Styx”
The program was as follows:
Twelth Street Rag = Bozart
Mood Indigo Shoemann
Kitten on the Kegs Chopping
How Can I Hi-de-Hi, When I
F^el so dow, low, low....De Beauty
Rhapsody in Chromatic Rune
Etude d’Amour Vardell
Blues from “Hocha” Chorus
Sunlight Sonata in B(e)
The outstanding feature of Bean
Vardell’s performance wa
usual interpretation of his o
position “Etude d’Amour.” The
title is highly suggestive of
plaintive melody, which Bean Var
dell accentuated with a f’
To Mr. Schofield, we attribute the
highly-coveted honor of being the
finest vocalist in Sale m who
sing off key as tunefully as Bing
The second program of the series
will consist of a lecture to be pre
sented by Mr. Broadus Staley, who
will speak on “How I would play ii
jazz ensemble.” Mr. Staley is
noted critifc, and his comments and
suggestions have been deeply inspir
ing to the Salem music students. Hi
F'cture will be presented in the Hall
of Memories at 4 o’clock Thursday
morning. All those interested in Mr.
Staley’s opinions and viewpoints are
invited to come and dust off the
P.S.— (Dr. Anscombe will furnish
his own variety of dusters.)
“Help! Help! came the cry from
lower campus, “I don’t know what’s
wrong! Come quick, and bring rope-
and-and well, just hurry please!”
This was Sarah Lindsay making all
of this noise and of course every
body in the school came rushing out
to see, what was the matter. Zina,
taking seriously Sara’s words, came
rushng to the front to see what it
was all about, with a knife in one
hand and a coil of rope in the other.
“Sh-h-h-sh-h!” said Sara, “fook!”
Well, we peered over the top, and
what do you think we saw ? There
\iyis Dr. Anscombe with his pants
rolled up wading in the creek!
Willoughby was “tripping
the light fantastic,” in the green
meadow — Mr. McEwen up a
tiee — Miss Ferguson and Miss
Lillie yelping like puppies — Miss
Kate Smith with pebbles in her
mouth playing the act of Demos-
tlieues—Miss Lawrence in her bath-
uit—and worst of all Mr. Higgins
■iding on the back of a cow!
Sarah, these were not optical il
lusions, ask herj no wonder the poor
child screams from fright. Farther
up, byt the bridge were Miss Bar-
Mr. Campbell, Miss MeAnally
and Miss Riggan taking a tap-danc
ing lesson. By their side sat Mr.
Curlee playing the act of Robinson
loe! Well! Imagine our
; when we called to them and
they asked us to come down— No.
didn’t accept. We were afraid.
The story ends tragically—they’)
n Dix Hill except those we’^
just finished speaking about who
; come back to dwell in our hap
Definitions: People who believe
things which are not so, are techni
cally termed “Suek-Ins” or “Cam
A perfect example—Hemp Edger-
ton, we> certainly put the bug on her.
She thinks Miss Lawrence will let
“us” go to the drug store and night
in the week because we gave her a
dandelion for the lapel of her
Ever since then. Hemp picks a bunch
for the Dean and stands by the
dining-room door until she goes
and demurely gives them to her!
Watch her closely, girls, these next
Maria Garrett carried cigarettes
and matches to the infirmary with
her because someone told her that
that was the place to catch up on
her smokes, as Miss Likes let you
smoke before and after each meal.
THE IDEAL SCHOOL
Assistant Dean—Martha Neal.
President Student Govefnment '—
President Senior Class—McArn Best
Telephone Keeper—Anne Wortham.
1. Smoking—Rabbit Tobacco, any
2. Drinking—Water, anywhere.
3. Chewing—Gum, anywhere.
4. Lying—Down, anywhere.
.5. Climbing—on Roofs, anywhere.
G. Wearing—Gym Suits anywhere
7. Singing—Ditties, anywhere.
8. Drinking—Dopes, anywhere.
9.- Visiting—Friends, anywhere.
10. Dating—Girls, anywhere.
And you ask when all of tljis will
come to pass ? Why when the fresh
men become seniors and the sopoho-
mores become freshmen! Believe it
or not! .? ? ? Well ?!! Why
don’t you shut up ? Oh yeah !
McArn Best kissed Hemp Edger-
ton good-bye when Hemp’s mother
visited her because she understood
that Hemp was going to leave
Emily Blanton fairly leapt down
the steps to get a long-distance
phone call which wasn’t a phone
Frye Pettus thought that Alice
Clewell was the name of a member of
the Junior Class.
every time one got a run in
stocking, the other one did too!
The Freshman Class, when they
made Celeste McClammy e(j;tor of
this paper ! Oh—boy !
Sue Andrews thought you had to
pay a radiator tax to keep warm
“The path of originality leads but
Miss Lawrence’s office,” quoting-
five green freshmen.
Due to the depression certain
feeble minded members of the fresh-
class eould not afford evening
dresses for the formal banquet which
marked the “clothes” of the basket
ball season. Having appeared at the
banquet in bright red gym suits, the
notorious red devils were called to
Miss Lawrence’s office the following
y at three o’clock.
Miss Lawrence vigorously chew
ing Beech-Nut Gum, was reading a
Ballyhoo. Dr. Rondthaler, attired
green overalls and a straw hat,
s puffing furiously on the only
good five-eent eigar in captivity and
reading the latest funny' p^per.
Miss Riggan was twisting the radio
1 madly in search of a peppy
z band. There was no doubt about
This was to be a sad and solemn
“I say, ole dear can’t you get Cab
Calloway?” lisped Miss Lawrenc® to
“No! I have told you time and
time again that Cab Calloway comes
on at night!” hooted Rig at Larry.
“Oh, please forgive me. I tho’t it
was dark!” pleaded Lossie pathet
Dr. Rondthaler dashed to the
phone and called several numbers.
As he was hoarse, we couldn’t under
stand exactly what he said. Any
way, in about ten minutes the police
force, the boy scouts, the army, and
the navy were standing at attention
in front of Alice Clewell Building.
With great pomp and ceremony,
Grace Lawrence’s name was legally
clianged to Gracey Allen. Three
cheers! Oh, maybe two will do
(Hold on tight! The scene is shift
ing, and I can’t stop it). The thi
big dogs, Rondy, Gracey and Rig
were again in the office of Gracey
Allen. Of course the red devils '
also there, but they lacked attention
for some reason. As I gazed on that
scene, I couldn’t help feeling sorry
for Ronwally. My dear readers, if
there are any, his funny paper went
up in flames caused by sparks from
his eigar. But we have something
to be thankful for. The only good
five-eent cigar came out of the
eitement with out a scratch.
Oh, yes! about the gym suits.
(CONTINUED ON PAGE FOUR)
Anscombe Turns Cartwheels
At Glad News
The Wednesday morning chapel
proved to be quite a success this
week. The principal address was
delivered by Mr. Sam Welfare, su
pervisor of Public Utilities. Impor
tant announcements were made by
both Chilian and Ossie. Right out
of a clouded sky. Dr. Rondthaler
expanded our spring holidays.
Can you realize our vacation be
gins the first of April! And the way
Dan Vardell was aroeking back and
forth on that old organ bench—no
wonder there were as many discords
there are ants on a stale cracker.
Of course, now, don’t think I knew
what was coming, because my eyes
stood open like cellar doors in a
country town. I knew all along that
Ronwally had to go to the Y. M.
C. A. had to go to thevbosodtoyyl
C. A. convention at Harlem, and I
do think it’s real sweet of him to give
all that vacation.
Those little words hit me like a
shot through a rotten apple. I won
der who told him about the way
things went while he was gone last
Somebody surely brought
down a tail of heaven with that
tattle. But girls—Blow me down!
Did you hear him say we could leave
the first convenient time? I al
ways said I hated hearing a person ^
blow off his lip,—but somehow that
sounded sweeter than a dozen mos
quitos. Why! My lil’ heart was a-
flopping up and down like a churn-
dasher. Before that chapel I felt
worse than a poisoned bed-bug, but
now I feel like pulling the bell-rope
for singing school.
I hope you all have a flowery
Easter,—and before you leave, don’t
forget to express your thank to
Rondwally. It’s not everybody that
blow off a lip and get a big hand
our Dr. Ron. But don’t pester
too profusely before he strikes
Qut for Harlem or one of these first
days I’ll have to get clubby with you.
SALEM MAKES MERRY
AT CO-ED BALL
ist evening, in the Salem gym
nasium the college entertained
Davidson College and V. P. I. at a
huge ball. The gym was decorated
with Dandelions and Milk-Weed and
Cab Calloway played. Instead of
dancing like you do at every other
ball, the originality at Salem pro
duced a gym floor laid out in hop-
skotch blocks. We played hop-
skoteh and ring-a-round the rosie to
the delicate strain of entrancing
c. “Tink” and Bobbie Way
the hop-skotch tournament, and
I prize, “Tink” was awarded a
diamond ring, which he immediately
placed on Bobbie’s finger (the wedd
ing will take place in July, girls).
iXfter this went, the girls brouight
out their doll-carriages, and the girls
and boys paired off to talk about old
AboutO o’clock delicious refresh
ments were served — peanuts and
sauerkraut juice, to the tune of
“Gurgle-gurgle or Gee-dunk.
We got Cab to play—“Sing You
Sinners,” and “Minnie the Moodi
er.” We Iiad a swell time, didn’t we?
This has been planned as an annual
affair and so we have it to look for-
Dr. Ron Challenges
Yes, girls, it’s come to this! The
storm has been brewing now for
many weeks, months and.years, and
it’s reached the point now that the
insults which Dean Vardell has
thrown at the President in regards
to his bald head, bay window and
walking cane just can’t be stood any
longer. So, tommorrow night, a
year from this morning. Dr. Rond
thaler will meet Dean Vardell in a
six round boxing match at the ball
room of'the Robert E. Lee Hotel,
to settle all differences.
Dr. Rondthaler has been heard to
quote the following words: “If I
ever meet that musician in a dark
alley. I’ll put his fingers in such a
condition that th® only thing he will
be able to play on the organ will be
chop-sticks.” Well, we do hope by
the time the bout comes off, that Dr.
Rondthaler will have changed his
mind, because we love the “Come
and trip it as you go.” music which
spring puts into Dean Vardells veins
for us to leave chapel.
We are all eagerly waiting for the
match to come off, and were betting
on the loser!