Page Four*,
THE SALEMITE
TARZAN AND THE
ASPARAGUS TIPS
Mr. Timotliy Hale,
12 Woodley Eoad,
Washington, D. C.
Dear Mr. Hale:
We hesitate to write you this let
ter, realizing how you must be over
burdened with mail, congratulatory,
and the like.
However, our firm, like many oth
ers, is at present extremely hard
pressed for ready cash. May we be
so forward as to remind you that
three months have passed, and you
still owe us $275 for a handsome dia
mond engagement ring?
We are distressed to mix business
with sentiment, but we and our em
ployees must live.
Sincerely yours,
Hash and Nelms, Jewelers,
(Miss) A1 Blake, Sec’y.
Hash and Nelms, Jewelers,
Attn: Miss A. L. Blake, See’v.
321 5th Street,
Washington, D. C.
Dear Miss Blake:
You see, it’s like this. Although
the aforementioned three months
have passed, the young lady hasn’t
decided whether to marry me or not.
If she decides negatively, I’d like
to exchange the ring for a bracelet
for my mother. If she decides af
firmatively, I shall send you a check,
upon receipt of her “yes.”.
Please bear with me and the youiig
lady’a capriciousness a little longer.
I assure you that she will decide one
way or the other definitely and soon.
Sincerely,
Timothy Hale.
Dear Mr. Hale:
May we suggest that you write a
letter to Dorothy Dix? No doubt,
she will be able to offer you some
good and apparently much needed
advice about how to prod effectively
a reticent lady-love.
Very truly yours,
Anna L. Blake.
P. S.—The employees of Hash and
Nelms, Jewelers, still go undernour-
MOUNT VERNON
In February our thoughts turn to
two of our great leaders, Washington
and Lincoln. Every aspect of the
lives of the two men is of interest to
us and we like to review occasionally
the fascinating facts concerning them.
Anyone who has visited Mount Vern
on, the home and estate of George
Washington, will probably never for
get it and will, as a result of his visit,
feel that Washington has more truly
lived.
The white mansion stands on a bluff
overlooking the Potomac River. It is
beautifully furnished with Washing
ton’s own furniture as far as is pos
sible and many relics are to be found
there, among which are his swords,
his dressing case, his flute, his card
table, and some of his clothes. At
Mount Vernon is the most complete
ixhibition of colonial furniture, chairs,
tables, bed spreads, sideboards, mir
rors and mantels, andirons, bookcases,
and cabinets in existance.
A covered colonnade connects the
nansion, Virginia fashion, with a ser
ies of outbuildings, including two
citchens, storerooms, and coach house.
The latter contains the old family
joach. In the kitchens are enormous
ireplaces in which are hung pots and
pans which were probably used by the
)ld negro cooks in preparing meals
or their master.
Back of the house is a flower gar
den ilficloesd \^^ith quaint boxwood
hedges and in an open space stands
an old-fashioned sun dial At the
front the spacious green lawn slants
downward to the broad river. About
halfway between the house and the
wharf is a plain brick tomb which
contains the remains of Washington
and his wife, Martha. The tomb is
back into the hill and is somewhat
hidden by the trees. It is protected
by an iron railing from the hundred
thousand people who visit it annually.
Below the well kept lawn is a deer
park.
The estate is cared for by a patriot-
organization consisting of a regent
and a vice-regent for each state in the
Union. Each state has a definite al
lotment for which it cares. North
Carolina cares for one of the upper
chambers.
Thursday, February 22, 1934.
GLEANINGS
Dear Miss BlaJce:
Perhaps you could substitute for
Miss Dix, as I need immediate help.
reticent,—de-1 (NSFA)—Butler 'Universityl the
cidedly not. She talks incessantly, ^ pioneered ^
vivaciously, and very attractively.' ® _
Believe it or not, as a rule she makes
up her mind quickly and
for all. She eats apples while perched
precariously in seventh, story
dows, with her feet dangling
She’s a dream walking, sittin£,
reclining. That’s just the trouble.
Too many guvs, who are carrying
$750 diamon(# engagement rings '
their pockets, are begging for 1
chance to pick up her apple cores :
life. She even| has a violet-ej _
movie idol and the assistant to tha
Ass’t Secretary of the Navy bar
gaining for her affection. That’s
why she refuses to commit herself,
finally, one way or the other. She’s
enjoying herself hilariously, as is.
What would you do?
Hopefully,
Timothy Hale.
Dear Mr. Hale:
It seems that you must out-shine
the movie star, and assist the assist
ant Secretary of Navy’s assistant
some spot where he’ll stop 1
ing troublesome, before you can p(
suade this modern Helen of yours
say, “Yes, Mr. Hale,” and before
our employees will again have that
sleek, well-fed look.
Why don’t you try frightening
your rivals off with a loud and lusty
Tarzan mating call, or have some
body push the fair lady off her win
dow ledge into your loving arms be
low. You might substitute a fire
man’s blanket if you’re afraid of
missing the lady in her descent.
(Practice with a dummy first). Don’t
fail to keep me informed of what
progress you make.
By the way, what does she look
like? If, perchance, I should meet
her on the subway, I can put in a
good word for you.
Expectantly,
Anna Blake.
(To Be Continued)
marriage
courses, is now offering a course in
the art of staying married.
—Northwest Missourian.
—nsfa—
(NSFA)—A Junior in the college
of engineering at the University of
Nebraska adcumulates enough rev
enue repairing watches to put him
through school.
—Johnsonian.
(NSFA)—A psychology professor,
after a thorough investigation at Col
gate, arflpounced that chewing-gum
improves a student’s pep about eight
—Swarthmore Phoenix.
—nsfa—
(NSFA)—A professor at Wiscon
sin State College recommends the old
institution of cramming, because it
represents concentration of the high
est order. He also asserts that mod-
psychologists believe knowledge
gained more rapidly will be retained
longer and more fully.
—The Crimson and White
—nsfa-
(NSFA)—Members of the physics
classes at Iowa State College at Ames,
have been saving long distance tele
phone charges by sending their mes
sages over short waves from the trans
mitters they have constructed.
—Iowa State Student.
(NSFA)—The International Fed
eration of Trade Unions reports that
the Latvian government is censoring
their publications, especially those ad
vocating peace propaganda, and has
banned their “No More War” pamph-
' depicting the horrors of war in a
ies of photographs. The Latvian
authorities thus defend the prohibi-
I.!—. i.pQ make propaganda against
when the whole world is prepar
ing for war would be to destroy the
very foundations of the government.”
—World Events.
Good PtcmEs
Make Better,
School
{>APER5,
■amwai
STATE SCHOOL
CURRICULUM TO
BE REVAMPED
(cONTIUnED FROM PAGE OSTe)
Outstanding in the discussion
a general decrying of the present in
adequate school facilities and low
salaries for teachers. The desire for
increased support seemed to be unani
mous. In the matter of curriculum
there were many pleas for the
toration of music, art, physical edu
cation, home economics, and the in
dustrial studies, which have suffered
more heavily than other subjects from
economic curtailment in the schools.
Every subject from Latin to spelling
had its proponents, and the general
attitude seemed to be toward a broad
ened curriculum wiht adaptation
individual abilities adn needs.
Dr. Rondthaler spoke briefly,
pressing the deep interest of Salem in
the total educational life of the State
and in the curriculum of the public
schools which bear so directly upon
the life and work of the college.
DR. WILLOUGHBY AD
DRESSES ALTRUSANS
(continued from page one)
Perhaps the most outstanding in
novation is the creation of the “stream
of consciousness” novel, the invention
er, if to any American writer of fic
tion.
In general, contemporary woi
writers of fiction tend to be less
treme than men. They have neither
accepted so fully the morbid theories
of psychology, nor adopted the sor
did view of life, nor have taken the
tone of cynicism and pessimism seen
in the work of some of the outstand
ing men of the generation.
When the Nobel prize was awarded
to Sinclair Lewis, many critics
mented on the greated appropriate
ness of its presentation to Willa Cath-
er, if to any America nwriter of fic-
THE MAN WHO MAKES
-A success is certain to be the vic
tim of jealous competitors.
—A friend is one who has shown
himself capable of friendship.
—A character is equally certain
make some enemies.
—A failure is often one most will
ing to offer advice.
—A mistake makes a bigger one if
he is unwilling to admit it.
—A poor employe is almost certain
to make a poor boss.
—A sport of other men’s convic
tions weakens his own.
“LADIES’ MISTAKES”
A pleasing small book of three
Popeish narratives called “Ladies’
Mistakes” is written more or less in
the eighteenth century manner by
Mr. James Laver, but about modern
young women. Mr, Laver’s ladies
have piquant old-fashioned nai
Belinda and Araminta are two of
them. The story of Belinda and the
green chemise which she darned with
pink thread is as light as froth, but
in the description of the repulsed as
sault upon her virtue, Mr. Laver has
adapted the old method of personifi
cation of abstractions and human
qualitiese with rare satirical success.
Mr. Laver personifies Conscience,
“Passion, with a red cap on his head,”
while vanity, which saved Belinda’s
virtue whispered in her ear:
“I am no priest, be vicious if you
please,
But not, Belinda, in a darned chem
ise!
Since never maid, however lax, I
think.
Would dare to darn a green chem
ise with pink.”
The second story relates how “grave
Araminta,” “in love with culture,”
receives a thorough education senti
mental in the Arts, finally revolts
from all its various kinds of artistic
poseurs, and takes up with Alfred
who
“ending where his grandpapa be
gan
Had reconstructed the Victorian.
“Cupid’s Changeling,” the last story,
deals with a cantabridgian who was;
mistaken by a lady novelist for ont
Maurice Baltimore, a current movit
star of purest ray serene. Her mis
take so unkindles the hitherto blame
ss Mr, Johnson that
“He who has been so timid, shy,
and meek,
Found himself master of a new tech
nique.
Till in his blaze Don Juan’s lighi
grew dim.
And Casanova was a fool to him.”
SENIORS SPLIT GAMES
WITH FRESHMEN
The Seniors, queens of the Basket
ball Court for two consecutive years,
lined up one victory for themselves
in the first seasonal game on Wed
nesday night, February 13, by defeat
ing the Freshmen with a score of 21
to 17. The Freshmen slated a
for themselves in the second game
with a score of 30 to 15. The Fresh-
ies threatened the Seniors with their
swiftness and pugnacity, and the lat
ter, although more accurate in shoot
ing goals, were forced to put up a
good scrap to keep the “little c
Line-up for First Game
Seniors (21) (17) Freshmen
Nolan
Huntington (11)
F
Leak (5)
F
Holloman (5)
F
Petree
G
Biles
G
Pollock
(6) Fulp
(4) Charles
Little
Council
Fuller
Line Up
Seniors (15)
Shuford (18)
Calder
McKinnan (7)
Lindsay
Motsinger
J. Grimes
Substitutes:
E. Little (2),
Redding, Torn
Referee for
B. Owen, Jr.
for Reserve Game
(30) Freshmen
(16) Nolan
F.
^ (4) Fraley
(6) Maslin
Norman
Pilcher
G. Grimes
both games—Mrs. W.
HOUSEWARMING
On Wednesday night the Y. W.
0. A. cabinet was at home in the
new “Y” room on the second floor
of the Alice Clewell Building be
tween 9:30 and 10:30'. Many girls
enjoyed the pleasant “house-warm
ing,” The new room is for the use
of all the students—not iust the
“Y” Cabinet.
DUKE INSTITUTE OF
INTERNATIONAL
(Continued from Page One)
Many students attended last year
and enjoyed the sessions very much.
It is hoped that others will attend
this year. For further information
students may address: Justin Miller,
Dean, School of Religion, Duke Uni
versity, Durham, North Carolina.
Movement;” and many others,
vere Allen, well known editor and
author, upon “The Challenge of Peace
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(NSFA)—The University of Hawaii
sent a squad of twenty-five men 10,
""T miles to play Denver University
football this fall. The players on
the Hawaii team, by the way, despise
shoes but yet kick for fifty yards
more with great accuracy.
—Wilson Billboard,
—nsfa—
(NSFA)—St. Mary’s College, the
le that puts out the famed football
teams, has only 584 students.
—The Crimson-White.
—nsfa—
(NSFA)—The University of North
Dakota finds an interesting way to
help students who have more ambition
than wealth. Half a dozen old rail
way cabooses have been turned into a
dormitory unit; and some thirty stu
dents are comfortably, if unconven-
ventially, housed at a weekly rental
of four hours’ work each on the cam-
I pus. One amy imagine that the good-
iioo iiiggau are entertammg at tea nature humor of the campus calls
1 the Practice House for the dormi- them “the young conductors”.
)ry students. I —Christian Science Monitor.
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