VOL. XIV.
WINSTON-SALEM, N. C, THURSDAY, APRIL 19, 1934.
Number 25.
“THE RING OF THE NEED-A-LUNGS”
COMIC OPERA
PRESENTED BY
JUNIOR OPERA COMPANY
TIME: Sammer time — a hot time on any beach, but especially on Wrongsville Beach, which is the hottest.
PLACE: That you’ve ever . . .
SCENE!
PREVIEW OF PLOT: Read this before enjoying the opera. If you do, you will have a third of a chance of interpreting the theme, or, in your vernaicular,
catching the point.
j\Ir&. Pond, wife of a high class baker, has brought her daughter, Lily, to Wrongsville Beach in search of a good match for her —- Lawrence Tidbit
is in thc-process of becoming the above mentioned match, when that process is interrupted by the evil and sudden appearance of the villian, Razzpudding,
and his accomplice, Cabooso. It is Razz’s one and' only aim in life to “give toLily Pond the T. B.” by slipping his Need-a-lung Ring on her finger. He sujc-
ceeds in consumptionizing Aida Pie until she is just a shadow of her former self. He even gets the ring on; Mrs. Pond,^ and botli she and Aida are taken to
the Need-a-Lung Infirmary, where the second act takes place. Here the villianmakes a second attempt to get Lily in. his T. B. (tremendously bad), power.
This time Tidbit, the hero, has been warned by Hie and Cup, two sim'Onized sailor twins, who-are on to Razzpuddin’s &ehernes, and he is more than ready
for the feud When he slips into the infirmary. There is great celebrating when Mrs. Pond shoots Razzpuddin, and all his victims revive.
In case you don’t understand -about Cabooso, he is the ‘‘handy man” who brings Kleenex for the patients as soon aS' they get T. B., and who picks
up the trash, and keeps- things in smooth working order for his boss, Razzpuddin. lie will do anything in the world for his master, that is any thing but one
thing—He will not sing. In fact, he cannot sing. Alas, he is a monotone of the fnonotones.
There is just one more thing which should be mentioned before -this opera begins. The cast, splendid though it bo, realizes that it could never have
produced this opera without the assistance of Miss Sunny Kirby, a Sophomore, but neverthelss a wonderful pianist, and. a cutie pie. Miss Kirby will take
her bow at the half—pardon, at the end of the first act.
NOTICE :-^Just before the curtain opens, you will hear the motif of Wrongsville Beach, which motif recurrs frequently throughout the whole opera. If
your ear is well trained, you will notice that Razzpuddin alS’O has a motif of his own, so does Cabooso, and so do Ilic and Cup. By the time you leam to
recognize these characters by their separate motifs, the opera will be over.
Act I
Mrs, Pond, Lily, and Tidbit seated on
Bcacli.
Tidbit: (tune, Marqnita)
“(), Lily sweet Lily,
This snn makes me silly,
I love you, sweet Lily, I do.
Lily: (same tune)
llusli. Doctor, you shocked her,
1 wish that you wouldn’t
Insist upon slinging me woo.
Tidbit:
Oh, do not deny me
A date for eight thirty,
I want one, sweet Lily ,with you.
Mrs. Pond, (sighing looking into space
—tune Old Black Joe):
“Gone are the days when my hus
band felt that way,
Lily, you’d better heed what I do
This' man’s intentions are the best
I know . . . . ”
Tidbit (embarrased) :
“ . . . . Well, pardon m'
but I’d better go.”
(Is leaving stage, meets Hie and Cup,
sailor twins)
Hie and Cup (tune Capital Ship for
an Ocean Trip):
(), we made us a trip on a rickety
ship,
Now we’re glad to get on land.
How I love to feel underneath my
hee
This
dear ladies,
Hie and Cup:
“He’s an old meanie!
He’s brung disaster to the lung of
some ittie bittie girls like you—”
Razz (tune Blue Danube) :
“Don’t listen to them, ray dear,
They have fancy notions here.”
“Of you I will have no fear!”
Tidbit:
'I think this is very queer!”
s. Pond: ,
‘Is that man a sailor too?”
Lily:
“He looks like he has the flu!”
Tidbit:
“I think I shall trail him and see
What there is for me to see!”
Exit Razz, Aida, and Tidbit
rs. Pond (tune Dinah) :
“Daughter,
Don’t you think that you oughta
Take a dip into the water?
If you do, then you can run now.
Before you dinner wait—
Daughter,
Here take this Itttle quarter,'
Buy yourself a drink of water
And bring me three dopes with
lime.”
Exit Lily—
[rs. Pond:
“Oh, every night, why do I
Shake with fright?
Because my Lily might
Is the villian of this show.
Our voyage was rough.and slow,
And oh. the winds did blow.
I’m fresh from the sea come flirt
with me.
Oh, baby, don’t tell me no
Then come on girls. Hello,
I.et’s dance the twinkle to.
I would if I could; this is gonna be
If ^you’ll only let mv hand go!’
Pajama Girls Dance
Hie and Cup (tune How Lovely
Evening):
“Oh, how ugly is the motion,
motion
Of the slippery, slimy, oi
ery ocean, slimy ocean.
Hie. Cup! Hie, Cup'”
Mr.s. Pond (coyly —
“You’re new comers to the shore.
Sailor boys I do adore.”
Hie and Cup:
Of our crew ther> are two more.
Ole roughy, toughy sailors!”
Mrs. Pond: .
“Did you have a happy trip.''
And where is your little ship.^^
Is that something on your hip?
it’s only my tooth
Barnacle
Say n
3 that
_ . taught hei,
My adorable daughter,
And to Wrongsville beach
brought her,
For my sweet, romantic plan.
Enter Cabooso (motif — Fun
March)
Hie and Cup (tune: Ohloe):
“Over sea and land,
Caboosa has travelled far.
Trash can in one hand,
And victims in his car.
If the ring is slipped on you,
And you go, a ka, choo!
There Cabooso stands
With Kleenex in his hands.”
Caboosa (monotone):
“I am the handy man of Razzpud
din.
I work for him tho’ I know it is a
Mrs.** Pond (starting to take his pic
ture) :
“Oh, how very thrilling.
Now if you are willing—”
Cabooso:
“Pardon me, lady, _
Razzpuddin’s calling me'—{exit)
Mrs. Pond (violets) :
“Hie and Cup, Both stand up!
Take me out to see a show!”
Hie and Cup:
— respond. Madam Pond,
“No, ma
brush.
And pajamas,
And washrag!”
Cup:
“He fooled you I ,
Enter Razzpuddin and Aida 1 le.
Rn77, (motif):
“Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Aida (tune You’re an old Smoothie)^:
“You’re an old Thmoothie!
If y
1 pay 0
way, '
I go!
Pond.
“What’s a dollar more to me?
My husband owns a bakery.
Hie and Cup:
“What show would you care to se
Oh, Mrs. Pond?”
(Exit all three)
(Razz and Aida enter—she wi^th tli
Needa lung Ring on her fmgfr, and
therefore coughing and sneezing—
Razz motif.)
CAST
Lily Pond, the heroine
Pat de Pl'srta
Mrs. I. Corres Pond, her mother
:-Peg 0 ’ My Bernhardt
Lawrence Tidbit, hero
Stee McGee
Aida Pie, friend of Lily
Ozzie Williamington
Hio given name, Country
Gup given name. Butter
Simonized Sailor Twins
Razzpnddin, villian
Ilongda Burrymore'
Cabooso, accomplice of villian
Sta,yoff-Tun-0
Future -Shadow of 'Aida
Ima Voided
Pajama girls, T. B. germs.
For tte benefit of such com
panies as The Metropolitan Opera;
Carolina Play Makers, and Jelly
Leftwich, Inc., who may wish to
use some numbers of this cast as
prima donas or torch singers, we
will give their everyday names, as
well as their “noms d’ opera”
which you see above—they are:
Misses Pat Padrick, Mary Penn,
Margaret McLean, Jane Williams,
Cokey Preston, Margaret Ward,
Wona Thagurls, Virginia Nall,
Frances Adams, and Junior
Twinkeltoers.
“Poor Aida Pie
The poor girl will die.
When, and where, and how?
She’s his victim now.
A consumptive, she will now
; fun.
The poor girl will die
Poor Aida--Pie.”
azz (tune: Is’nt It Romantic):
“The Ring is on her finger,
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, and how.
Not long will she linger!
She’s my victim now—”
Aida (tune: Marquita) :
“Rathpuddin, to me.
It ith plain to thee
Thith-ring hath brought me ,T. B.’’
(Exit Razz and Aida—Enter Tidbit)
Tidbit (tune: Soldiers’ Chorus):
“Oh, what a dastardly man is he
He gave Aida Pie T. B.!
Just let him try his old ring on i
And then we shall see, and then
shall see.
What we shall see!!”
Enter Lily (tune: Girl of My
Dreams):
“Mamma, I brought back a dimf
And. your three dopes with lime.
But where are you?”
Tidbit (romantically — tune: C
World is Waiting for the Sun-
“Dear^ one, the sun has turned your
little nose,
To the color of the rambling
Lily:
“Where is my dear Mamma gone?
Can’t you see I’m forlorn?
Tidbit, go find her, do!”
Exit Tidbit (in search of Mrs. Pond)
Razz motif—he rises up. Lily
screams. He is about to slip Need-a
lung ring on her finger while she is in
a faint.
Razz (tune: Tiptoe Through the Tu
lips):
“Tiptoe, oh, Cabooso—
O, ho, ho, ho,*will you pardon me?
While I give to Lily Pond the T. B.”
(Hears voices—exit)
Mrs. Pond (tune: Killy Killy, Wash,
Wash) :
“Mercy, mercy, mercy, mercy, look,
look, look, look!
Look, my daughter’s dying.
Tidbit:
“Lily, oh, Lily, oh, Lily, oh, Lily, oh
Why are you thus lying?”
Hie and Cup:
“Look at Madam Pond,
Fit, Fat, and fond—
Poor Madam Pond.”
rs, Pon^:
“Oh, goodness, gracious, mercy,
Uly (tune: Sailing. Sailing):
“Where am I?”
Tidbit:
‘Oh, darling, can’t you see?”
Lily:
“Yes, now I remember the ugly
Who jumped up behind m
Hie and Cup:
"The one she remembers, Razzpud-
Js Need-a-lung Ring, the nasty
thing gives everyone T. B.”
Mrs. Pond:
“Tidbit, take her back up to the,
house—
I will wait a little late
To try to catch that louse.”
ic and Cup:
“We will take her. Lady, have
Lily:
'But, mamma, I know, you ought
to go—”
Mrs. Pond:
“I’m staying here, my dear!”
(Exit all except Mrs. Pond)
Mrs. Pond (tune: Ah I Have Sighed
to Rest Me, from II Trovetore) :
“Why did I ever bring her here?
She will now come to harm I fear.
Where is my bles.sed husband?
He should be here to protect us—
But he’s at home, in his bakery.”
Razz (motif—Enter softly, disguised
in baker’s suit and cap—with loaf
of bread—tune: Won’t be Hoi
Until Morning) :
“Oh, Madam Correspond,
To bring you happiness
And good cheer—
Your husband from the bakery
Sent you this present by me!”
Mrs. Pond (takes loaf—tune :Killy,
Killy, Wash, Wash):
Goody, goody, goody, goody, hi, hi.
Look what hubby sent mi
Wonder if I’m supposed to keep it?
Or .if it’s only lent me?”
“It’s meant for you, Mrs. Corres-
But you must not yet eat it.
Just look inside, and find . .
Mrs. Pond:
“A ring, well can you beat
“I^et's see you try it on.”
Mrs. Pond:
“Oh, surely I must try it on.”
Razz (aside) :
“Once she has put it on, her fate
she will meet it!”
(Mrs. P. puts ring on, coughs. Razz
laughs, Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!)
Razz, (tune: Three Blind Mice):
“Now ain’t that nice.
My ring has gone on twice.
Aida Pie, her swan song has sung.
Madam Pond will now need a lung.
The next one I want is the daughter
young.
Won’t that be nice! Won’t that be
Mrs. Pond (between coughs—tune:
Give Me Liberty or Give Me
I’m a slave to thee
For the need a lung ring I see.
You have got me where you want
But leave Lilly, please, alone!
Please don’t give my babee T. B.”
Razz. Ha, Ha, etc. (tune: Shuffle Off
to Buffalo):
Go home and tell your daughter
That I’ve just as good as caught her
Ho, Ho, ho, ho, ho,
Off she’s gonna shuffle.
With a cough and a shuffle, O!
(Exit)
Enter Aida (tune: I’m Forever Blow
ing Bubbles):
“Coming events cast before them
Future shadows in the air
Now here am I—just about to die.
Tliere you see me as I soon will be.”
(Enter future shaadow of Aida—thin
and pale)
F. Shadow:
“I am but a future shadow.
Of you poor Aida Pie.
Just skin and bones
And tearing sighs and moans
As you see her, so once was I.”
Mrs. Pond:
“Look at me, Aida Pie.
I, too, am about to die.
But if I do—I hereby swear to you
(loudly) My Lilly Pond shall not
die too.”
(Enter Tidbit, Lily, Hie and Cup)
Mrs. Pond (tune: We’ll Make Hay
While the Sun Shines) :
“Take me to the infirmary.
Oh, I am in such pain.
My two lungs are useless
I am as good as slain.”
“Hurry to the infirmary
Let’s catch a special train.
Once in the country air and sun
Myself I may regain.”
Former self of Aida (waves goodbye,
tune: Taps):
Oh, goodbye, I could cry.
There I see what was me—
About to die!
’T would be good, if we could kill
Razzpud!”
Echo (all): “T’would be good, if we
could KILL RAZ7jPUD !”
(Curtain)
Act II
Scene: A sleeping porch in the Need-
a-I^ung Infirmary. Several sickly
specimens of humanity are stretched
out in wheel chairs. As curtains part
they sing mournfully between coughs
and gasps. {Volga Boatmen):
“Cough .... groan .... blow—
Wheeze—moanin’ low—
We have T. B.
0—0—0—”
(continued on page tiiree)