Page Two.
THE SALEMITE
Wednesday, September 19, 1934.
Member Southern Inter-Collegiate
Press Association
Published Weekly by the Student
Body of Salem College
SUBSCRIPTION PRICE
$2.00 a Year :: 10c a Copy
EDITORIAL STAFF
Editor-la-Chlef Cortlandt Pretton
Associate Editors:—
Elizabeth Gray
Virginia Garner
Sunny Kirby
Feature Editors:—
Mary Penn
Libby Jerome
Martha Binder
Margaret McLean
Assistant Feature Editors:—
Carolyn Diehl
Jo Whitehead
Columnists:—
Mary Elizabeth Reeves (Exchange)
Emma Wargo (Chapel)
Virginia Nall (Fashion)
Edna Fetter (Sports)
Poetry Editor:—
Margaret Wall
Society Editors:—
Maria Garrett
Cora Emaline Henderson
News Reporters:—
Gertrude Schwalbe
Libby Torrence
Sara Ingram
Mary Louise Haywood
Martha Schlegel
Erika Marx
Marietta Way
BUSINESS STAFF
Business Manager Agnes Brown
Adv. Manager Dorothy Courtney
Exchange Mgr Virginia Key Council
ADVERTISING STAFF
Rachel Carroll
Ruth Dickieson
Susan Rawlings
Martha Nolan
Virginia Fraley
Circulation Mgr Florence Ledbetter
Ass’t Cir. Mgr Mary Ruth Elliot
CLEAN OFF THE
TABLES
Somewhere in this week’s Salemite
is hidden a merry little witticism
which will, no doubt, resurrect many
carefree memories collected during
the dear departed vacation; “Sum
mer romances, summer not”
Not a very solemn text for an edi
torial. Not a very solemn text for
dreama. But, nevertheless a suitable
one for both, especially the dreams.
At the first mention of summer
romances, a girl either feels it her
duty to breathe deeply and narrate
as many of hers to as many of her
friends as will listen, or she feels it
her privilege to drop whatever she
is doing, soften her eyes to their
regular June consistency, and to
dream hers over to herself as long
as they hold out. Fall dreaming is
one of the pleasures which a dead
summer wills to all women, especial
ly school-girls. And what would we
do without it? How many classes
and study hours become bearable
only "because they are supplemented
by the roar of the ocean and bright
sunshine, or by pale monlight and
someone’s brighter sayings? Perhaps
it is very profitable to dream. Cer
tainly it is very pleasant.
After every meal, however, a table
must be cleared. Fall should be
the appointed time for clearing off
all tables. Let us remove all the left
over dishes, all the soiled linen, even
the dead flowers, everything, and
leave only the clean, bare mahogany.
(In spite of the fact that this simile
may make woodenheads of us all if
it continues, it is still an appropriate
simile). When the table is perfectly
bare, when all the crumbs have been
brushed off, along with the sugar that
was spilled during the meal, and al!
the salt and pepper and mustard and
hot peas have been put back into
the cupboard, then we may set about
to polish the table.
Needless to say, we eat, drink, and
be merry during the summer; we
t hen should clean off the table
properly in the fall, so that from
September until June we can polish
our minds with all our might.
What is this wicked, wretched
thing that has been hinted at? Is it
a demand tkat we scrap our beauti
ful dreams and memories as if they
were crumbs, and throw them in the
trash can the minute summer is
dead? Or that we shall study and
polish our minds in one long, uninter
rupted session that lasts all winter,
until spring shall find us old, wora
out women?
AT A Boarding
SCHOOL FOR MICE
Professor N. Ibble was the master
of Science in his school, as well as
the proprietor. He had started his
school with his own three daughters
and their neighbors. Now it had
grown quite large, and profitable.
The routine was a lesson in nibbling
at nine o’clock, a lesson in gnawing
at ten, tooth sharpening at eleven.
The remainder of the time was spent
in chasing cock roaches from under
neath the knowing and nibbling
headquarters.
For the opening weeks of school.
Miss Foody, the dietitian persisted
in serving bacon strips to the school
three times a day. She had never
done it before, it was hard for the
students to understand and bear.
Early one day Yatta Gnaw, stu
dent atN. Ibble’s school, heard a
loud click. She heard somebody
jump and squirm. Yatta tipped
around under the gnawing headquar
ters and found her dear companion,
Ann Ibble, caught under a tight
piece of wire. Yatta tugged and pull
ed until she raised the wire and was
able to mount Ann on her back. She
carried Ann thru a dark passage to
the infirmary, where Miss I. Chew,
the nurse, cared for the wounded
mouse. Ann and Yatta promenaded
together when Ann was able. One
day they meandered near the Science
Hall. Theypeeped in, and found, to
their amazement. Professor Ibble
cutting a cat into strips—strips just
the size of the bacon that was con
stantly served on the school table.
Yatta immediately inquired as to
what Ibble was doing, whereupon
Ibble began to yell: “Cheese for
bacon! Cheese for bacon!” He con
tinued until Yatta decided he had
lost his mind over his humiliation
from having been serving false
bacon at his school. Yatta was able
to guide him to the infirmary, where
Dr. Bite said Ibble had either Bloody
or Blue Murder, each meaning im
pending insanity.
Thus was the fate of Professor
Ibble. His school continued; Miss
Foody continued to plan meals; the
cat bacon did not continue.
SENIOR SCANDAL
SHEET
Florence McCanless, despite what
the Reverend Gordon Spaugh said
Sunday, insists upon living in the
“Pass” tense. It’s a ease of “Oh,
doctor! ”
No doubt, that sedate Senior, Sarah
Johnston, wishes she hadn’t put off
that h. d. (hefty date), with a
Davidson man. In the interim he
was caught in a “Butterfly” net.
It seems that B. Tuttle is special
izing in a “littfe Dutch btoy.”
Windmill ears are picturesque.
A most romantic incident has oc
curred in the life of our blonde
blizzard, Martha Neale. A day or
so ago, the mysterious masculine
voice of a stranger come over the
telephone eulogizing her beauty.
This unknown admirer, with a news
paper picture of M. Neale pressed
close to his heart, has been worship
ping her from afar since last spring.
Pat Padrick must be mighty sure
of the fidelity of her little men.
The other nite she entrusted Lind
say Morriss to the care of none oth
er thaji Kill ’em-dead /Carpenter,
and believe you me Gracie’s recent
ly acquired sixteen pounds are not
to be sneezed at.
Let us say humbly; the clearing
of the table was, at best, merely
a suggestion; and it was also a bit
of a warning. Like crumbs left over
night on a cltWtered up table, mem
ories left lying around exposed to
view all winter get stale. If, how
ever, they are put into a sort of cup
board for a while, like the pepper
and salt, they will keep their spicy
fresh flavor, and be always ready
for future use.
Then, too, a bare table, definitely
cleaned and scraped, will take an
amazingly and lastingly high polish.
Let’s go on a day dream diet for
a little while and see how the home
sickness rolls off our backs and see
also how much we can accomplish in
the polishing line.
WOULD YOU UKE TO
TAKE A WALK?
TO THE MOVIES
CAKOLINA
Now Playing:
The Scarlet Bmpress, starring
Marlene Dietrich, portrays the for
eign, cruel Bussia of the 18th Cen
tury under the regime of Empress
Elizabeth and of the circumstances
under which Sophie Frederica be
came Catherine II, Empress of Bus
sia.
STATE
Today and Thursday.
Ladlea Sbould LiHen, with Cary
Grant and Francis Drake tells the
story of young Julian de Dussoc,
wealthy mine owner newly arrived
from Chile and how he is protected
from a plot against him by an ad
miring and eaves-dropping telephone
operator with whom he subsequently
falls in love.
Coming Friday and Saturday.
The Dragon Murder Case with
Warren Williams and Margaret Lind
say follows closely the plot of the
book of the same name by S. S. Van
Dine. Philo Vance is called on to
solve an unusual swimming-pool
murder and many weird complica
tions arise as he enacts the scenes of
that fatal night and thus apprehends
the criminal.
Monday and Tuesday.
Smarty starring Joan Blondell.
This is a flippant, light comedy
which gives Miss Blondell ample op
portunity to show her coy smile and
her lovely back. There is a domestic
quarrel over Raw Carrots, a divorce
and — wait till you see it.
OOMIIfO TO CAROLINA
Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
Hide-Out with Robert Montgomery
and Maureen O’Sullivan. Mont
gomery portrays a young racketeer
who falls in love with the daughter
of the farmer who hides him from
the law. He therefore decides to
mend his ways. Robert is at his hil
arious best. He makes a chuckle
out of chicken feed and indulges in
gang warfare with a pitchfork and a
load of hay,
A merry little tune accompanies
this merry little picture and the com
bination—together with the combi
nations of gangsters and farmers,
and Robert Montgomery and Mau
reen O’Sullivan make Hide-Out one
of the most entertaining pictures of
the year.
Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.
The Lost Oentlanan, starring
George Arliss.
MIRACLE OF TIME
Helpful Quotation from
Arnold Bennett
From “How to Live On 24
Hours a Day
“Philosophers have explained space.
They have not explained time. It
is the inexplicable raw material of
everything. With it, all is possible;
without it, nothing. The supply of
time is truly a daily miracle, an af
fair genuinely astonishing when one
examines it. You wake up in the
morning, and lol your purse is
magically filled with twenty-four
hours of the unmanufactured tissue
of the universe of your lifel It ii
yours. It is the most precious of
possessions. A highly singular com
modity, showered upon you in a
mannei: as singular as the commodity
itselfl
For remark! No one can take it
from you. It is unstealable. And
no one receives either more or less
than you receive.
Talk about an ideal democracy!
In the realm of time there is no
aristocracy of wealth, and no aris
tocracy of intellect. Genius is never
rewarded by even an extra hour a
day. And there is no punishment.
Waste your infinitely precious com
modity as much as you will, and the
supply will never be withheld from
you. No mysterious power will say:
“This man is a fool, if not a knave.
He does not deserve time^ he shall be
cut off at the meter.” It i8 more
certain than consols, and payment of
income is not affected by Sundoys.
Moreover, you cannor draw on the
future. Impossible to get into debt!
You can only waste the passing
(CONTINUED ON PAGE THREE)
SOPHOMORE SUMMERS
Cupid just laughs and laughs
’cause he knows the Sophomores
have stolen the Juniors’ lovesick
tradition. Undertakers seem to be
in great demand down around Fay
etteville; while appendicitis brings
fascinating interns into the picture
for Jo Whitehead, Virginia Guddy,
and Frankie Meadows. Lib Gant
has moved closer to Carolina and her
adored A. T. O. House by going to
N. C. this year, yet Oarylon Coun
cil, Marguerite Dewey and Lib Hub
bard left us for St. Mary’s. The two
cronies Mick Rawlings and Leone,
have parted at the crossroads,
one going to Marjarie Webster
(without her Body), and the other
going around 10 blocks in Chicago
reducing her shadow. Cupid is still
laughing, but he says he has nothing
more to say at this moment.
THREE SPORTS IN
FOUR ACTS
Act 1
8«ene—Mountain lake, whipped by
young gale. Billious sky, piled with
vicious clouds in the east—Small
boat is bobbing at lake pier. A boat
consisting of seven-eighths sail and
one-eighth flimsy canoe.
Time—Late summer afternoon of
1934.
Personae—1. Sweet young thing
Salem (Female)
2. Summer Acquaint
ance of Sweet young
thing (male).
Scene 1 only.
Summer Acquaintance: Now listen,
bohunk. I’m letting you sail this
thing as a special favor, see? If you
don’t do exactly what I tell you
we’re sunk, and I’m not speaking in
the common vernacular. You got me?
Sweet young thing from Salem:
Ja: Ja—I mean aye, aye, captain!
S. A.: Now whatever you do,
don’t head into the wind. Let it
strike the sail as perpendicularly as
possible.
S. Y. T. F. S.: Oui, I mean aye,
aye, sir
S. A.: You haven’t idea one what
I’m talking about; but let’s get the
struggle over with.
8. y. T. F. S.: S., si, pardon, aye,
aye, captain.
(Five minutes later—Young gale is
tossing canoe around as if it were
Libby Torrence).
S. A.: Look out, you idiot, the
boom’s going to whoop, and right
over my head!
S. Y. T. F. S.: Oh, dear, do boats
have contagious diseases, too. Don’t
let it cough in your face. Turn your
head away.
(At this point, the boom whoops;
the sail swings from one side of boat
to other, lamming Summer Acquain
tance on skull-.
S. A. (standing up painfully and
causing boat to sway dizzily- Gimmie
them ropes.
S. Y. T. F. S.: Oh dear, wait just
a minute. They’re all tangled up.
S. A.: (plunging toward storm).
Gimmie them ropes!
S. Y. T. F. S.: Well, if that’s the
way you feel about it.
8. A.: (Still standing up) You
women, you couldn’t sail a toy boat
in a batht—blub!!
CURTAIN 0F WATER
ACT II.
Scene: Bridle path.
Time: Morning after the aft. before.
Personae: The same as Act I.
One Scene only.
S. A.: Say you look like a mexican
jumping bean. Can’t you post?
S. Y. T.: Post? Post which?
S. A.: What you’re sitting on.
S. Y. T.: (Innocently). The horse?
8. A.: Listen, goof, you and the
horse get together. When he goes
up, you go up. When he comes down
you come down.
S. Y. T.: What do you think I’ve
been doing for the past mile? I
haven’t walked up a hill yet.
8. A.: (Shaking his head hope
lessly). O if you’ll just watch me
now. (Applies brakes to nag, which
in turn applies brakes and rears.
S. A. does flying trapeze act to near
est mud puddle.)
CURTAIN OP MUD
Act m.
Scene: Same as Actl. Only the sky
is blue an dthe sun shines brightly.
Time: Afternon after morning ride.
Personae: The same.
S. Y. T. (Standing awkardly on
edge of diving board). Now which do
(CONTINUED ON PAGE FOUR)
JUNE, JULY, JUNIORS
True to Salem form, the outgoing
Sophomores during the short sum
mer months passed the test for ad
mittance into the ranks of the Jun
iors, the test being concerned chiefly
with the affairs of Cupid. Yes, they
all are suffering from “that certain
thing” and the expression adorning
their dreamy faces is only a phase
of love-sickness, a malady which
even Miss Lites’ pink pills won’t
remedy. But what more could one
expect of the class when there was
a rumor that Madame Queen Graves
was about to give up her educational
career and her position as president
of her class in preference to the hal
lowed role as ’s wee wifie? As
Florida sailed this sea of bliss so
Marianna’s Herb sailed the briny
deep, leaving Marianna subject to
the wiles of the other Wilson shieka.
Even if she was just a sailor’s
sweetheart all summer, her affections
are again this year anchored at the
Zeta Psi House at Carolina.
And could those radiant beams
with which Anna Withers and Lucy
James fill the breezes be the result
of their sessions at Duke summer
school? You never can tell—just
as Wilda never could tell what was
going to happen to her frog legs
when she went out with Harold.
Mixed with all the mooning and
spooning among these sisters was a
little tripping. While Garnelle was
in New Y'ork having a high ole time,
McArn held down Camp Keystone.
Nancy McNeely ran Camp Illalee for
two months with the exception of
one night when she left Grace Car
penter in charge and she went on a
spree and tumbled down the hill. And
was she glad her date had taken a
slicker along in case of an accident!
Gert Schwalbe was at Roaring Gap
when she developed appendicitis and
had to be rushed back here for an
operation. The whole school wishes
her the speediest of recoveries.
“How we’ll miss you when the
summer is gone” and wishing for
you—Jane Rondthaler who ups and
goes to New York to become the
expert milliner, Florence Ledbetter
who is planning to travel, Fan Scales
whom Duke lured away from our
mVdst, and Dot Courtney who is
taking a business course in Washing
ton. Nuts ow and luck to all of them.
Open Forum
>1 ^
JUST A DREAMER —
AREN’T WE ALL?
What a beautiful gymnasium.
Red brick with a tile roof. Believe
I’ll go inside and look around. There
six red suits dash back and forth
among six yellow suits. Those girls
surely can play basket ball, maybe
it’s because of the good court, but
Salem girls play well anyway. High
overhead are drawn-up trapezes. I
can picture nimble girls performing
the “basket hang” and the ankle
hang” and swinging up and down
on the “Flying trapezes.” Next I
visit the store room where hockey
sticks, golf clubs, and volley balls
wait peacefully for their busy sea
sons. Then to the balcony. No
danger of a spectator’s being hit
by a ball here. Looking admiring
ly at the brand new, well-equipped
gymnasium, I make my way around
the basket ball court. Suddenly the
ball comes straight toward my head,
and I wake up to find myself bask
ing in the sun on the brick steps in
front of the little green hut.
HEALTH HINTS
In a properly ventiliated room
there is always definite move
ment of air.
The normal average temperature
of the human body ia 98.6 de
grees F.
Never apply iodine to a burn.
If a person becomes heat ex
hausted, apply heat to the out
side of the body and give hot
drinks and hot food internally.
Do not apply cotton to a burn
or any open wound.