Thursday, March 10, 1938.
Published Weekly By The
Student Body of
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10c a Copy
Editor-In-Chief - El^ise S^ple
Business Manager - Helen Smith
Music Editor -
General Editor — Alice Hor^field
Sports Editor Cornelia Wolfe
Anna Wray Fogle
Mary L. Salley
Emma B. Grantham
Mary Turner Willis
Mary W. Spence
Manager Edith McLean
Peggy Bowen Virginia Taylor
Rebecca Brame Mildred Troxler
Virginia Carter Margaret Patterson
Grace Gillsspie Jane Kirk
Associate Exchange Manager Frances Watlington
Associate Exchange Manager u
Assistant Circulation Manager ----;- Piper
Assistant Circulation Manager - Millicent McKendne
Assistant Circulation Manager Christine Dobbins
1937 Mcaber 1938
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HELEN AND THE
(Continued From Page One)
Enter Menny Leyus, Ahkilleasy,
Ajax and the Greek chorus.
The shades of night are falling fast
Tra la la Tra la la
Tlie time for sports and fun is past
Tra la la Tra la la
I’ll cook a steak and cook it right
Golf gives us all an appetite.
Tra la la Tra la la
(Going over to the counter and
discovering the note)
(Tune: Chorus of Jingle Bells)
See this note, see this note
Helen’s run away
She’s gone with Trojan Paris and
She’s gone to Troy to stay.
Chorus repeats as it passes the note
See this note, etc.
(Tune: Cornin’ Through the Rye)
Meny Leyus, Spartans, Ajax
Come and gather round
Hearken to the proposition
That I would propound
Greeks are fast deteriorating
This I do avow
Ajax used to be a warrior
Look at Ajax now!
It is not that we want Helen
Honor says we must
Catch this rascal Trojan Paris
And make him eat the dust.
Menny Leyus: First we must consult
the Orcale at Delphi.
Enter Delphic Damsels carrying suit
(Tune: Three Little Maids from
Twelve little Delphic Damsels us
That came to the Beta dance could
Because we must wait for the
||:Twelve little Delphic maids.:H
Menny Leyus: If »nly the Delphic
Priestess were here!
Damsels in chorus: Oh! she’ll be
here. The folks at Delphi are so
conservative that we had to
bring a chaperone.
The lights grow dim, and the spot
comes on. The Delphic Priest
ess enters carrying a tripod,
places it in the middle of the
stage and sits upon it. Weird
musif The Delphic Damsels
dance about her.
Dance of the Delphic Damsel ballet.
Damsels: The Oracle is about to
Menny Leyus: Get it down in short
hand. (The maidens all produce
pads and sit at the feet of the
Delphic Oracle: Ajax Cafe, Sparta,
Greece. Gentlemen: I have re
ceived your order of March 15,
and we are sending the shipment
of goods immediately. Very truly
All: What does it mean?
Menny Leyus: Only the Gods can
Enter Diana and Minerva.
Chorus in awe: The Goddess Diana!
Menny Leyus: And Aunt Minerva!
Minerva: Menny Leyus, how you
Menny Leyus: The Delphic Oracle
has spoken, but we can’t inter
pret the stenographic report.
Minerva: Read it.
Delphic Damsels: Ajax Cafe, Sparta,
Greece. Gentlemen: I have re
ceived your order of March 15 .
Minerva and Diana: The Ides of
Delphic Damsels: and we are send
ing the shipment of goods as soon
as possible, Very truly yours.
Diana: It’s all Greek to me.
Minerva: It means WAR.
(Tune: Mary had a little lamb)
But I am a pacifist, pacifist, pacif
Yes, I am a pacifist
Conviction’s growing deeper
If Helen likes the Trojan boys,
Trojan boys, Trojan boys
If Helen likes the Trojan boys
Why not let them keep her.
Minerva and Diana together: There
must be a Trojan War! The
Gods have spoken.
(There is a roll of drums. The stage
becomes dark and a loud clash is
heard. When the lights come on,
Minerva, Diana, the Delphic Or
acle and the Delphic Damsels
have disappeared. The scene is
once more the interior of the
All: A Trojan War!
Ahkilleasy and Ajax begin arming
everybody with pots and pans,
long handled knives and forks).
(Tune: Stars and Stripes)
We are all Spartans brave as you
Chant the glories of our valor
long and loud
This will be a glorious victory
Of the Greeks, the mighty and the
We will slaughter, the Trojans by
And shout that we ’re ready for
For we are out to win the Trojan
And you can bet we’re going to get
Our handsome Helen!
(All march around the stage waving
implements and singing)
We are all Spartans brave, etc.
Trojan Council Meeting in the
Priam, Hector, Sockra Tease, Soakus
and Croakus seated around a
(Tune: “I shall not be moved)
“I am Priam, I am King of Troy
These are men who are in my em
I keep the city in the best of
But I’m still a goy old boy.
He keeps the city in the best of
But he’s still a goy old boy.
(Tune: Where have you been,
O, what will we do for our business
O, what wUl we say to each other
Sockra Tease, you lead the way
Will you speak to us today
Will you fill up our meeting with
(Tune: Carry Me Back to Old
Tarry a while, my Trojan buddies
There are two officials who have
not as yet appeared
That vacant chair over there is for
And that one there for Ben Hur,
the old grey-beard.
So let us wait and wait for the
Hour after hour we can sit with
Propped on the top of our fine
Thus every Tuesday does the
Trojan council meet.
Ben Hur runs by the window, scurries
to the door.
(Tune: Viene, Viene)
Benny, Benny, Benny, Hurry,
We’re waiting for you
Benny, Benny, Benny, Hurry,
It’s past half past two
You’ve made the Trojan council
in all its glory sit and wait
Postcards and special deliveries
are no excuses for being late
Fellow Trojans, fellow Trojans,
• just list to my story
My wife Mrs. Hur had to go to her
She had promised to bring me
uptown to my meeting
But when I left Mrs. Hur she
was still in the tub.
Hurrah! Hurrah! I ran away from
Mrs. Hur, Hurrah! Hurrah!
She’s still in the tub!
(Tune: Old Black Joe)
We understand your problem
What we don’t see is how you live
Our own sweet wives are meeting
And when the cats are all gone out
the mice can play
Priam: To open this meeting I shall
ask you all a question in geogra
phy. (chants) Where is Paris.
(Tune: Paris in the Spring)
Paris is in Greece, hm, hm,
Disturbing the peace, hm, hm,
Maybe he will chance
While there to learn some nice new
Enter Paris, suddenly:
ll’ve come back to Troy, hm, hm,
And boy, oh, boy oh boy, hm hm.
Just wait till you see
What I have brought back home
Goes out to fetch Helen. Helen comes
into the room and creates a turmoil.
Piano plays Egyptian snake song,
men clap and shout until Priam has
to stand up. Amid stomping of feet,
he sings out, a la Cantor “ I am Pri
am, I am Priam! ” Men quiet down.
All offer her a chair. She prefers to
sit alluringly on the table, back to
audience, facing Priam, flirting with
him. Paris stands behind Priam’s
(Tune: Alice, where art thou go
Helen what are you doing?
Leave old Priam alone
He’ll lead you to your ruin
His heart is made of stone.
She gets up slowly, and with back
ward glances at Priam, goes over
to Sockra Tease.
He rises to give her his chair. She
winks at him and sits down, hold
iug his hand.
(Tune: Drink to me only with
Wink to me only with thine eye
And I will wink with mine
For I do think that your bright
Is mighty nigh divine.
Your hair is gold
But you. I’m told, are Menny
And if I’m seen with Sparta’s
A dime will buy my life.
(Tune: Tessie, stop teasin’ me)
Sockra, stop teasing me, stop teas
ing me. I’m all at sea
Sockra, what can the reason be.
Honest, truly. You are getting
Sockra, I’m mad at you, you’re
bad as you can be
What you should do is to get a
When you come back we can both
Paris, oh can’t you see
Old Sockra’s teasing me.
Paris, Ben Hur and others shout
‘ ‘ leave Helen alone. ” “ stop
teasing Helen,” etc., stomp feet
as before. Priam shouts a la
Cantor: “I am Priam, I am
Priam, ’ ’ quiets them.
(Tune: Oh Salem Faculty)
Oh, Trojan aldermen
Come out and dance with me
Come out and shake a knee
Come out and shake with glee
Don’t do the two step
Let’s do the brand new step
That is the rage now in my
Gets them into a circle as Big Apple
Music begins. Starts teaching
them the steps.
Paris, out of breath
H h h Helen, beautiful Helen
You’re the only, only Greek that
But d d dancing
And p p p rancing
Wo wo won’t it make our limbs a
(Tune, Rock a bye baby)
sings slowly, teaching the big ap'
pie as she sings
Watch closely, baby.
How it is done
You’ll soon know how
To join in the fun
When the knee bends the body
And the Big Apple’s healthy for
(Tune: Ach du leiber Augustine)
dances to tune as he learns the
Helen is a wonder, by thunder, a
Helen is a wonder, so cute and so
Our wives are too homely
And Helen’s too comely
Oh, isn’t this too lovely
We’ll keep her in Troy.
And if the greasy Greeks, those
shieks, the Greeks
Those dumb Phi Beta Greeks
Come wanting a war
We’ll stick them and prick them,
or maybe we’ll trick them
And for angelic Helen, we’ll all
All join in the Big Apple, one after
another shining, and all singing
“Helen is a Wonder, etc.”
In Mr.s. Priam’s parlor — Members
of the Work Lika A Trojan
Woman’s Club are meeting at
the home of Mrs. Priam, Pres
ident of the club. All are sip
ping Trojan tea.
Mrs. Priam, Mrs. Socra Tease, Mrs.
Ben Hur, Mrs. Soakus, Mrs.
Crocus, Miss Hecqyouate, Miss
Androm McKee sitting around in
(Tune: Minnie the Moocher)
Have you seen Helen?
Just who is Helen?
She’s a blonde, sweet smellin ’
A blonde sweet smellin’?
About young Paris and Helen there
is quite a tale!
Now, I’ll tell you the story of
Helen, this charmer
She’s got the Greeks all up in
She is the tallest and the slimmest
I’ll bet Paris bought her at a bar
gain sale! (Sarcastically)
Mrs. Soakus and Mrs. Croakus sing
Where is this Helen
All join in:
Where is this Helen?
They say she’s dwellin ’—
They say she’s dwellin?
Well, I’m not tellin, but she
ought to be in jail!
(Same tune, verse)
Well, Helen was married to Menny
Who, when she was stolen, swore
he would slay us
Now, I don’t mind fightin’ when
wrong we’re righting
But I’ll not have Priam fighting
for that female.
Mra. Priam leads:
All stand up:
(Tune: Stand up and Cheer) --
Stand up and jeer a dame whose
name is poisonous i
To her all blame and wifely envy
It’s a shame but she creates a
With her slinky swing
So we will make the aim of this our
To smear her name and make of
(Continued on Page Three)