APRIL
FOOL
The Sillymite
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VOL. XIX.
WINSTON-SALEM, N. C., FRIDAY, MARCH 31, 1939.
Number 22.
Hedy LaiTiar Is Visitor
At Salem Campus
Circumstances Force Actress
To Cut Short Her Visit
Soft brown hair blowing in the
breezes, white, flower like skin, the
scent of exotic perfume — such fill
ed the enchanted days this week
when Hedy Lamar was the guest of
our college! F’or one week Salem girls
were face to face with the personifi
cation of all that the Lady Esther
Charles of the Ritz, Revlon, Irris
tible, Elizabeth Arden advertise
nients stand for, the personification
of all that we lassies try to be from
six to sixty!
Monday afternoon at five o’clock
Miss Lamarr made her first appear
ance to the public. This took the
form of a semi-private talk with the
Y. Cabinet and the student council
on the subject of “Beauty or Brains
— but not both!” Miss Lamarr
pointed out that although brains
were popular in some circles, the
climate of this section of North Caro
lina didn’t permit the proper care
of their development. She explained;
harsh biting winds play havoc with
lovely complexions, and although
Jergen’s is unsurpassed in the role of
supplying the skin . affectionate
brutes love to touch, it does not have
brain - building ingredients. (We
might add that Miss Lamarr appear-
at this meeting in a lounging robe
of chartreuse satin, the latest from
the Pacific Coast!) We might also
add that this turned out to be the
most scientific of her lectures.
But woe unto all the scientific
facts, all the advice she gave us.
For Tuesday morning as we were
walking with eager steps, beating
hearts and expectant souls for
another revelation — lo! the most
heart-breaking thing! The impos
sible happened! Not even up to the
doors of Memorial Hall could we
April rool
Salem to Preserve
Spirit of Democracy
Mustard Colored Uniform
To Be Adopted
Recently there was held at Salem
■ a combined meeting of the Student
Government and I. R. S. Council to
decide a very weighty and important
problem. The question was a popu
lar one that had been agitated for
years, and it was with almost unani
mous backing from the students that
the two groups decided that at> last
something ought to be done to answer
such an important appeal from the
student body.
At the meeting mentioned, the fol
lowing resolution was drawn up:
We, the representatives of Salem
college, have been urged and beg
ged by the student body to pass
a resolution to preserve the demo
cratic spirit on the Salem Campus.
This spirit, so much an integral
part of our campus life can best
be preserved by one method only;
that a uniform be adopted so that
all girls can appear on a basis of
equality. The color shall be mus
tard, with turkey red trim. .
The Salem girls having at last seen
the realization of their long-cherish
ed dream. We expect to see the spirit
improve 100%. On with democracy
at Salem!
The chief sponsors of the uniform
movement were those red-headed
leaders; Mary Worthy Spence,
Agnes Lee Carmichael, Patty Me-
Neely,, and Martha Bowman. Each
one feels that the colors chosen are
particularly becoming to her.
There is also a movement abroad
that all Salem girls shall have the
same coiffure, to still further pre
serve the democratic spirit at Salem.
(You Find it Yourself, We’re Tired)
Changes to be
Made in the Library
This Spring
Miss Grace Siewers has announced
several changes in the library for the
spring months. When plans were
being made for the new building, the
committee in charge decided upon
these changes but until now had been
unable to secure the full co-operation
of the faculty. Recently, however,
the students have been doing their
work so poorly that the teachers felt
something must be done, and as
scholastic work centers around the
library, they felt that it was the
place to begin in any effort at re
form.
Students who do their last-minute
preparation for classes will be inter
ested to know that the library will
open henceforth at 7:30 instead of at
8:00 as has been the custom. The
members of the library staff will be
glad to serve coffee to anyone who
wants it.
Miss Siewers says that prepara
tions are being made to install an
elevator to take students and in
structors to the seminar rooms. This
will, she feels, save much of the
time that has been being used up in
recovery from climbing ten flights of
steps.
The teachers have graciously off
ered their services in the library. Dr.
Smith is to head a committee of lan
guage teachers who will be willing
to teach the students how to use
translations effectively (that is, how
to use them in such a way that no
one will know it.) This fact may
seem strange to many people for lan
guage teachers are traditionally op
posed to the use of translation. The
Salem faculty was formerly guilty of
taking this stand but realize, now,
that it is definitely adverse to mod
ern teaching and the college must,
(You Find it Yourself, We’re Tired)
April Fool
Class In Tatting
Organized at Salem
Mr. Agnew Bahnson, Jr., Is
New Professor
Quite a number of years ago there
were classes in embroidery, needle
point, and fine sewing at Salem; but
in the past few years such courses
have been omitted from this school’s
curriculum. N ow at last, in response
to several recent requests, a little of
the demure spirit of those old classes
of young ladies in this institution
is being restored by a class in tat
ting that was begun here last week.
I first found out about the new class
when I saw the group in its initial
meeting under the willow tree last
Monday afternoon. The organization
of the class was not announced in the
usual manner in chapel, for it was
feared that there might be a rush of
students for enrollment in the new
course here. And, truly, the attend
ance at that afternoon class has al
ready grown to alarming propor
tions.
The instructor of tlie new subject
at Salem is Mr. Agnew Bahnson, Jr.
He has, as you probably know, a
great many hobbies — picture-devel-
oping, recording, etc.; and tatting
is one of his latest interests. The
Salemites, being girls and ,therefore,
adapted to the various types of sew
ing and crocheting, seem to be learn-
ing quickly. Maybe the real reason
for Salem’s progress in tliis accom
plishment is the amiable personality
and unusual variety of methods of
the able instructor.
Every day at 3 P. M. “Mr. Ag
new,” as the girls in his class affec
tionately call him, brings his shuttles
and large pools of special tatting
thread down to Bitting Building and
gathers his pupils around him under
the willow tree.
The college authorities are begin
ning to consider some way to provide
for the huge crowds of girls that are
attending Mr. Bahnson’s daily class
es. Of course, ivlien the present group
of Salemites has learned to tat, they
will need no further personal super-
\ision, and Mr. Bahnson can begin
(You Find it Yourself, We^re Tired)
April Fool
Pierrot Players Present
**Six Daughters Have T'
Chistmas Holidays
Are Fast
Approaching
Holiday Spirit Prevails
Christmas is undeniably in the air.
There are evidences of .t everywhere.
The crowded stores are literally reek
ing with the essence of it. We can’t
help realizing that Santa isn’t far
away when our country cousins head
ole’ Caesar to town on week days
as well as “Sa’d’y.” And have you
noticed that the more prosperous of
our rural friends have chains on
their Model “T” t'.res to help plow
through the snow left from that blus-
try blizzard Ole’ Man Weather threw
off on us last week to herald Santa’s
coming? Br-r-r-r!
Yes sir, there’ll be quite a few-
fur coats hanging on Christmas
trees this year. And speaking of fur
and trees, did you see the carload
of fir trees in front of the Sister’s
House Tuesday? A certain female
member of the faculty, it is rumored,
dragged out her Christmas tree dec
orations early to doll up her tree in
grand style so that “Santa” would
be impressed.
It is also rumored that all the lit
tle Salemites are writing Santa Claus
for that new game which is the rage
now — Chinese Checkers. They say
it’s pretty tricky.
Yes, the Christmas spirit is cer
tainly in evidence on the campus. We
see it all the way from the red ber
ries of the little holly tree on the
square to the red candle in the room
of the Elizabeth Norfleet and Hen
drick. The Moravian Christmas
Cookie packages also add their
sparkle of good cheer in the campus
living-room when they are on sale
(Free advertisement, Seniors.) The
campus is simply littered with fur
(You Find it Yourself, We’re Tired)
April Fool
Mr. Oslow Welles Criticizes
The Production
Pete Ivey And Stuart Rabb Write For The Salemite
ON IGNORANCE OF
GIRLS’ SCHOOLS
By Pete Ivey
The only thing we know about
girls’ schools is what we see in the
motion pictures and read in the
newspapers.
We don’t believe what we see in
the motion pictures, because we’ve
seen what the movies do to stories
about men’s colleges — we know dog
gone w-ell that ain’t true — and we
suppose there’s a similar exaggera
tion in movies with a women’s col
lege setting.
Most of the pictures of college
girls we’ve seen in the papers have
been photographs of May Queens and
“typical” scenes put out by college
press agents, showing the girls romp
ing around during the first snow of
the season or the first day of school.
However, it’s very seldom we see
pictures of girls in bathing suits in
new's releases from women’s schools.
Of course, there may be mention of
a swimming pool in the college cata
logue, but that’s as far as it goes.
Result: Our co-education has been
sadly neglected.
We would tell you about the night
the watchman ran us off the campus
at WOUNO, but this is no time nor
place for reminiscences.
Here are a list of things we have
heard about girls’ schools that we
don’t believe:
That all college girls are beautiful
Special Guest Privileges; Continued
On Page Four
ABOUT THIS WEEK’S
GUEST WRITERS
We have just interviewed two
charming young gentlemen from the
Sentinel. Tlie Sentinel is the Win
ston-Salem evening paper, the only
publication in America that depends
more upon peanutg for its existence
than elephants do. (To explain this
obscure allusion, the aforesaid young
gentlemen write a daily column for
their paper called “Pass the Pea
nuts,” full of spicy tid bits and com
ments of general interest.)
We were very patient with these
young gentlemen.
We sat with them at their board
ing house while they ate lunch, and
although they generously advertised
each item on the menu as the board
ing house “specialty,” we heroical
ly refused all, even the salad. We
had hurriedly eaten our own lunch
some fifteen minutes earlier, not
knowing that newspaper men always
invite their interviewers to lunch.
We both said that we were going
to be Career Women, and we asked
about journalism as a career.
This touched them deeply.
“Go find some good, clean, depen
dable man — preferably rich — and
marry him,” they advised. A wom
an’s place is in the home.”
We scoffed at this.
“That’s a little out of date,” we
said. “A woman’s place may be in
the home eventually but certainly
not the first three years after she
Special Guest Privileges; Continued
On Page Four
THE SAGA OF
SUSIE KEW
By Stuart Rabb
The door of the Wee Blue Inn
crashed open. Into the smoke-lay
ered atmosphere staggered Six-Date
Susie, the sizzling senior.
A thinly-concealed titter rose from
the Salemites .sitting at, or lying un
der, the tables.
“Drinks!” trilled Susie, “drinks
for the house!”
The bartender set up a bottle of
pop and a chaser of two jiggers of
hydrogen and one jigger of oxygen.
Susie downed them both without a
grimace, and turned to face the mob.
As she turned a fraternity pin
glittered in the dim light. A mur
mur swept over the merry-makers
and then all was quiet.
Then up spoke a timid junior.
“An Alpha Rho pin!” she gasped
“Tell us how you did it, Susie!”
came the chorus.
And this is the story told by Susie:
“Bill met me at the bus station.
It was the first set of dances at
Wake Forest and you know how I
felt — sort of on the spot.
“I had heard that some college
boys actually smoked cigarettes —
even Wake Forest boys — and I was
just frightened to death at the
thought of somebody’s offering me
one. I didn’t want to seem prudish,
but -—• well, I think a girl just has
to know where to stop.
Special Guest Privileges; Continued
On Page Four
The production of the Pierrot
Players, “Six Daughters Have I,”
which was presented last night in the
Old Chapel has made history for
Salem College. Mr. Oslow Weiles,
famous New Y'ork producer of the
Hermes Theatre attended the per
formance and announced early this
morning that the play will be his
selection as the “Best Play of 1939,”
and will be publicized as that. He
has paid the Pierrot Players the
highest compliment possible in ask
ing their permission to take the play
to his Hermes Theater for the sum
mer season.
Tlie acting was superb, Mr. Welles
said in an interview early this morn
ing. Lizzie Trotman played Mrs.
Bennet better than he has ever seen
it done. Since he had never seen
the play before, this is quite a com
pliment. Mr. Welles also commented
most favorably on Mrs, Bennet’s
po se on the stage especially in the
scene, where forgetting her lines, she
called (juite casually to the prompter
and said calmly, “Bill, give it out.
I’m lost.”
Miss Lee Rice is an embryonic
Cornell, Mi‘. Welles asserted in an
interview early this morning. “Such
verve, such delightful freshness of
style, such energy,,” Mr. Welles ex
claimed, “we could well use her in
Hermes Theatre. I’ll bet she could
even play ‘The Sleeping Beauty,’
without much effort. ’ ’
About the merits of the acting of
Katherine King and Garrison Reid.
Mr. Welles asserted in an interview
early this morning that they were
absolutely perfect — that no su
perlative could be misused in de
scribing their genius. Although, he
(You Find it Yourself, We’re Tired)
April Fool
West Point Cadets
To Come to Salem
Salem Will Proclaim Holi
day While U. S. M. A.
Cadets Are Here
The cadets from West Point will
be at Salem College next Wednesday
and in honor of this memorable oc
casion, the trustees and faculty have
proclaimed a holiday. There will bo
no classes or otlier school activities,
and the students will be free to de
vote their time to the cadets.
The reason for this event is that
President Roosevelt thought that
cadet’s life at West Point is too re
stricted, and that they do not have
a chance to meet many girls or see
enough of the world. Therefore pic
tures were sent in to the cadets of
student bodies from different schools
throughout the country, and after
careful examination the cadets de
cided that Salem looked the most
interesting. They are coming on a
special train, 1 and there will be
three cadets for each girl. Salem
students will go to the train en
masse, and each girl will choose three
cadets that she would like to have
for the day.
A complete program of entertain
ment has been planned. One of the
main events will be a dress parade
m the afternoon with the cadets in
full regalia. The climax of the day
will be a dance on the pavilion,
which is to be erected over the hock
ey field, with Larry Clinton’s orches
tra playing at one end and Benny
Goodman’s at the other.