T
Friday, May 9, 1941.
THE SALEMITE
Page Three,
Peofiie '*t'
READ THE COMICS
FOR THE BLUES
It was rumored that there was
quite a bit of excitement in South
Hall the other day when several
students discovered through a
crack in the floor that there were
termites’' working beneath them,
^tat’s more, the termites were
building a wall!
The Salemites’ spring fever is
now getting on everybody’s nerves
including the faculty’s , . . The
other day Miss Byrd asked Avis
Lahey why she just didn’t stop
school and get married . . . And
^r. Holder was flabbergasted when
Paith Fromhold asked him the as
signment just as he finished ex
plaining it. “They always told me
would have to be plenty thick-
skinned to be a teacher,” he said
• • • By the way, speaking of spring
^ever, Barbara Lasley certainly is
indifferent” to everything and
everybody these days. I wonder if
feels the same way about that
skyscraper gentleman who came in-
the library the other day look
ing for her.
Well, Louise BraTower panicked
the French conversation group Mon-
•^ay night when she rocked back
too far in a chair with no rockers
it. I suppose that she deserved
*t because she was kidding Le
*Ionsieur (pronounced lee monsewer
'*nd better known as Dr. Downs)
^out his one strand of hair . . .
While we are on the subject of
’’slower, I might add that the
S'Japshot of her in the French Club
picture of the “Sights and In
sights” was not exactly flatter
ing.
Well, May Day upset the old
routine around here so that things
have not gotten back to normal yet
. . . Harriet Sink is still walking
about in a trance thinking about a
gentleman whom she describes
merely as being “far away” . . .
Sara Lindley was wearing her
flowers Monday night . .. . Sallie
Emerson, after spending the week
end in town, returned w'ith circles
under her eyes . . . Teenie McGehee
decided that her first love was not
so bad after all . . . Flosse’s cousin
“discovered” Avis Lahey . . . Peg
gy Eaton got three orchids, which
is entirely too many for any young
Salemite sophomore . . . Duddy and
Stoney are still recovering from V.
M. I., and everybody else is re
covering from anxiety which was
experienced Saturday afternoon, un
til the May Queen reached the bot
tom of the hill w'ithout collijpsing.
The club elections have quite a
bit of interest and excitement—
esecially those of the Latin Club.
There has been relatively little
else going on. School is quieting
down considerably now, and the
answer to it must be that exams
and term papers are staring us
right in the face. Before signing
off it might not be too bad to give
a w'ord to the wise and hope that
it will bo sufficient: Elsie Newman
had better stop sticking pins in
other people if she doesn’t want to
find a knife in her back.
DEAREST MAW
I’m real sorry you didn’t get to
'^onie up for May Day. I heard it
"'as real good and it certainly
^irouLD have been after all the
®°ise they made about it! i didn’t
^®t to see it myself—my reserve
®eat being on the Academy steps
'*t the hordes of humanity in front
me seemed to think it w'as fair
Srade good. Next year if I can rake
a neat box lunch, I plan to
®^unter down into the dell at the
bust of daw'n and spend the
'ly there so’s I’ll be stationed
''^^en the five o’clock w'orks come
^^ound—then it’ll most likely rain,
something!
The dance that night w-as straight
^’^cept that almost all the people
®ut down to May Frolics—which
^Oiindg me that I think Paw is
of the biggest heels I have
bumped into. Nevertheless, I
hoolt; the wrinkles out of that foul
'«oking aqua wreck, and meandered
, ^'vn to the gym for what might
been a red-letter night had
fiend Oswald not swan dived into
punch. He said he tripped over
of my stray ruffles, but you
the
>ow how he’s all the time passing
buck. Anyhow, he went out
^°ors to air out a spell, and the
j®^t thing I heard from him was
® following morning when he call-
^ Ole up to tell me that he had
,®Otracted larygitis or whatever it
His voice sounded all right to
FAMOUS PEOPLE AND
THEIR SAYINGS:
Mary Lou Brown: “Where are
my lipstick and comb?”
Mr. Campbell on Monday morn
ing: “Close your books — five
minute quiz—yes. ’ ’
Marge McMullen: “Dearest
Meggs, I enjoyed talking to you so
much.”
Becky Cozart: “Now really,
girls. I’m going on a diet tomor
row— ”
Sue Forrest at 10:00 a.m.:
“Don’t you an.swer the phone—
that’s the bank calling me!”
but he put up such a pitiful
® that I didn’t feel so bad when
said he’d better rush right on
to school to the infirmary. Of
I suspect that he went to
® infirm via the Beta house for
th,
Sunday morning pick-me-up
^ Ual—but you ’re the one who told
^ to always take people at their
no matter how dubious the
thing sounded.
pool opened the other day
I ** I was mighty surprised to see
. ^ many Eskimoes there are
j^ong us. I personally stuck one
fj® in and as a result I am con-
So ^ have strep throat. As
as I corner Mary Wilson for
Ij ® symptoms. I’m going to the
C'
^’’Pita] to pass away. Really Maw,
ere
a something
me—I didn’t
awful
wrong
' jjnc—J. uiuu L even enjoy
allowing those three hot dogs I
® for lunch!
K far as I know, there are
5 '*'ors about the campus of exams
^Pproaching. There probably isn’t
I) ®h foundation for this, however,
j.^^ause I ain’t yet handed in my
■''^ceks reports. Besides I’ve got
lastiest type of spring fever
to man and I don’t feel like
doing anything but sitting under
a tree somewhere and looking at
nature. Besides that I’ve got wan-
der-lust, and I wish you and Paw
would please consent to letting me
bring that poor feeble Ford up here.
I can’t see that it’s doing you any
good at home— it doesn't run, I
mean—and we could get enough
people up here to at least push it
around the block every night after
supper.
Last week the press conference
was in town—yi-pee!!! We didn’t
learn a whole lot about pressing,
but it was an awful lot of fun.
One boy there asked me to please
be torch singer for his Virginia
Beach orchestra this summer—he
didn’t ask me whether I could sing
or not, but I guess he could tell by
looking at me that I was probably
(censored) a lot better than Ethel
Merman would ever be. That is
kind of strange though—not a.sk-
ing me to sing, that is—say-y-y-y-y
—do you reckon he even HAS an
orchestra?
We liad an Indian princess doing
around in chapel last Wednesday.
At first I was a bit doubtful be
cause anyone can plaster up with
pan-cake make-up—but when she
started singing, I changed my mind.
My yodelin’ ain’t NOTHIN’ com
pared to hers. Maw!
You know I don’t like to men
tion these subjects which I am
about to mention, Maw—but this
is a case of absolute necessity.
Would you mind awfully if I asked
you to please send me my allowance
for the • months of June, July, and
August? It’s got so I can’t sleep
nights without bill collectors and
people night-maring up my dreams
all the time. It’s not that I owe a
few people a lot of money—it's just
that I owe lots of people a few
money. I'm sure yu know how these
things are, Maw—remember that
rug you bought on the grocery
budget?
Love and kisses,
Janie
Do term papers give you head
aches? Are you allergic to exams t
Then laugh away your troubles with
the comic strips! Isn’t it a scream
to read about Seibert’s ingenious
murders? (Seibert is the hollow-
eyed maniac who runs afoul of the
law in “Dctective Tracy”). I
thought I’d die laughing when Sei
bert polished off the hostess by
pushing her in the river, or was it
a lake, having first knocked her
out with an amusing right hook to
the jaw.
And good old “Dan Dunn”—you
can always count on Dan for the
laughs. What could be funnier than
the spectacle of the beauteous Kay
shedding big tears like this:—for
the last two weeks! (She thinks
Dan has been done to death by the
Skull, but. we know he w'asn’t.) By
the way, I hope you took a good
look at the Skull before Irwin un.
masked him. That face was a riot.
W^hat a sense of humor these comic
strip artists have!
“Orphan Annie” is one of my
favorites. I’d recommend “Orphan
Annie” as a sure cure for the
blues. Plot 1: Orphan Annie loses
“Daddy Warbucks. Orphan Annie
finds “Daddy” Warbucks. Practi
cally hysterical, isn’t it? Plot 2:
Sunday Peter La Plata gets an idea
for revenge on his ex-wife, who has
done him dirt. He spends all week
talking about the idea, just to bo
sure the readers understand what’s
afoot. By the following Sunday the
action may start, or it may not—
as the case may be. Anyway, one
of the reasons I’m so fond of
“Orphan Annie” is because the
writer has such a high opinion of
his readers’ intelligence.
As for “Superman”—words fail
me. “Superman” makes all other
comic strips look like murals for
a morgue. I am overcome with par
oxysms of mirth as Superman falls
into the clever trap laid by the
underworld, while Lois Lane, the
demon girl reporter, looks on’ hor
rified.
My day is complete when Mr
Chigger accuses KSkeezix of making
off with 10 bucks from the office
safe. Only a comic strip artist could
create situations so packed with
humor; 100 guffaw's to the strip
count ’em! When the future looks
black and life isn’t worth living,
then just reach for the fanny
papers—and prepare to howl!
Of course a few comic strips like
“Blondie,” “Thimble Theatre,’'
“Lil Abner” aren’t funny at all
You won’t find a trail of murder,
arson, theft, sabotage or exponage.
Pretty dull stuff, if you ask me.
—A. K.
I DARE SAY
That the rapidity with which the time flees
between the first of May and the time exams start is
really something phenomenal — ’specially if one has
a coupla term papers due in.
That we nearly expired wih laughter the other day when Dr.
Anscombe had been telling us for about fifteen minutes how' much per
secution Einstein had endured and how horribly he had suffered all his
life, and Leila Johnston piped up and asked if he had been sick or
sumpin.
That the picture, “Argentine Nights,” did start riots in Argentina
’cause the natives didn’t appreciate Hollywood’s picturization of their
country as wild and wooly. Hunh, the Argentines should just oughta see
what Hollywood does to Georgia and Virginia, and my cow, those south
ern accents.
That with the coming of Spring ’er sumpin, the Chapel speakers
feel called upon to quote that little gem from Shakespeare about “Ser
mons in stones,” etc. Anyhow I’ve heard it used no less than four
times since Easter, but darest I to call Shakespeare trite?
That it’s funny how many people agree with what Lindbergh has
to say, but, oh, boy, are they afraid to say so. We’re really in It now.
That you’ve heard about the girl with the three B’s — beauty,
brains and Bahnson.
Caustic comment on a week-end
date:
He doesn’t dance,
He isn't tall,
He can’t romance.
And that ain’t all.
He’s no Greek god,
And he can’t croon,
He doesn’t connect.
The moon and June.
But his Buick convertible
Flies over hills,
He’s our dream man.
He pays the bills. —Flambeau
When Up Town Stop In
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Suits for spring follow this
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